A thing thatnanda and I were discussing over gaming…

moniquill:

Know what the world needs?

A faux trailer for a dark and gritty reboot of Madeline

(we don’t want this movie, just its trailer).

A woman in a nun’s habit, standing at the top of a staircase, lit by a single candle. She narrows her eyes and says,

“Something is not right.”

She blows out the candle, leaving the screen dark.

Voiceover: In an old house in Paris, all covered with vines -shotgun cocking noise-

-fade in to a pan over a decaying brick house covered in dead ivy. It appears heavily barricaded and fortified-

Voiceover: Lived 12 little girls in two straight lines

-slow pan over a group of girls, all approximately 16, standing in perfect military precision, decked out in all kinds of weaponry, including wooden stakes and bottles of holy water-

Voiceover: They left the house at half past nine

-pan of a grandfather clock in front of a window showing that it’s nighttime-

Voiceover: In rain or shine

-Pouring sleet, giant spotlight cutting through it, shadowy figures skittering out of the beam-

Voiceover: The smallest one was Madeline

-return to the pan from before, but get all the way to the end of the line of girls, where there’s a six-year-old obvious vampire, even more bristling with weapons than any of the others-

::music with electric guitar and heavy cello starts, flashing scenes of vampires being violently dispatched by this team::

(in which there has been some kind of demon/vampire apocalypse in Paris and Miss Clavel has had to turn her school into an academy for slayers. Madeline, being fearless, was an early casualty, but has become a fully sapient demivampire with all the awesome powers that of course entails, which she uses to fight the evil/feral demonpirezombiemonsters)