baldymonster:

hxdeharia:

mothwizard:

me: i want something very short and small and cutesy but most importantly body safe and discreet

sex toy companies: try the DEVASTATOR SEVENTY THREE INCHES OF PURE JELLY RUBBER HYPER REALISTIC VEINS WE SHOWED IT TO A NUN ONCE AND SHE BURST INTO FLAMES THERE’S ONLY ONE SETTING: DEVASTATION THE VIBRATIONS CAUSED AN EARTHQUAKE MILLIONS ARE DEAD

Why did I laugh so much

To be fair, the DEVASTATOR probably has incredibly weak, buzzy vibrations given that it’s made by a company that uses jelly rubber…

#still not understanding why so many people want sex toys to be discreet#but whatever floats your boat#i like my sex toys to look like weird art#why yes hello good sir#that is indeed my 3D medical grade stainless steel punctuation mark#without words it is impossible to tell if it’s an apostrophe or comma#thus does it symbolize the ambiguity of a contextless existence#also it’s for fucking