random-nexus:

febricant:

roachpatrol:

imagine sam wilson meandering into avengers tower to find steve and where is he anyway because it’s movie night and he didn’t show and he finds mjolnir propped against some door and is like ‘ha ha steve bought one of those ebay replicas, what a nerd’ and picks it up to go tease steve but then steve comes bursting out of the room now that mjolnir’s not holding the door closed

and sam’s like ‘i can’t believe captain america is into avengers collectibles’ and waves the hammer at him and it lightning-fries the wall behind steve’s head and sam’s like ‘SHIT. SHIT!?!!? SHIT!!!!!’ 

later new yorkers are very surprised and upset to see the god of thunder racing along the sidewalk screaming “GIVE IT BACK!!!” to a cackling flying lightning-shooting robot-winged maniac and the large blond riding him like a pony

so who do I have to kill for this

I’m willing to help cheerlead or hide a body, you make the call.