Meanwhile, in prehistoric Canada…..
No no, you don’t understand, moose really do get that big. Take it from a Canadian. I’ve seen that bullshit in person. Scary as all heck.
And that’s how people can die if they hit a moose. Seriously, one of our fears when driving in the country is having to deal with this scenario of a moose jumping out in front of the car.
moose are actual legit ice age megafauna; theyve been here since the ice age, they are old as fuck. they also are pretty terrifying and ive echoed this before but i went to wiki and “In terms of raw numbers, they attack more people than bears and wolves combined” and “ In the Americas, moose injure more people than any other wild mammal and, worldwide, only hippopotamuses injure more.”
like, fuck off with that
I was dog sitting a dog once who insisted she had to go out in the middle of the night it was an emergency, so I took her out. Suddenly she starts pointing and barking and I look up and can just make out the outline of a HUGE moose. I’ve been accidentally face to face with a black bear and that scared me less than being up close with a moose. I’m 5 foot so imagine staring up at an animal several feet taller than you that is debating charging the dog who’s leash you are holding. I was terrified as I grabbed the dog by her collar to get better control over her and backed up slowly til I was out of line of sight and bolted for the house at a dead run. Did you know most Canadian lake monster stories come from people seeing moose swimming? They are massive animals.
They are massive and they charge. I get so scared when tourists are all “oh yeah, we got out of the car to get a closer look and, ya’ll have some mighty impressive animals around here.”
Yes, yes we do, and they have mighty tired guardian angels because moose can, and do, charge at people.
I’ve always said that moose hunting season is the one time of the year we’re allowed to fight back.
Someone my mom worked with died hitting a moose on the highway. Their eyes don’t reflect light. In the dark they are literally nothing but a big slightly darker shape in the night.
Roughly every year in the town I grew up in, a cow (moose) and her calf will wander through downtown. Maybe once or twice. If she’s aggressive enough, the local Mounties will escort her through to keep idiots away.
I’ve definitely talked with people who thought moose were deer-sized or maybe horse-sized and I was like NO YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND MOOSE ARE TERRIFYING
Moose are terrifying, you guys.
I finally live on a province where moose and deer exist.
I do not drive at night in fear of meeting one. If you hit a moose going 90 on a highway, not only is your car trashed, you are probably trashed. I’ve seen cars that got wrecked and there seems to be a consensus that at least half the time, the giant fucking beastie just shakes itself off and continues gallumphing along the countryside.
If you fucking hit a moose with your car and their legs go through your windshield, congratulations, you are dead. Massive hooves kicking you to death? Yeah.
Moose are fucking terrifying. Bull moose won’t fuck with you too much unless you fuck with them, but the time a bull moose casually swaggered his way past 7 year old me when I was sledding literally put me off winter sports for a solid month.
Momma moose and their babies, though? I legitimately had to call in to work to be like “ey yo there is a moose in my driveway and I can’t get out” AND MY MANAGERS UNDERSTOOD.
Moose. MOOSE.
Congratulations Canada! Your wildlife has successfully freaked out and Australian.
So Thranduil riding a moose wasn’t an exaggeration?
I went “eh, Photoshop.”
And then got as far as “no, you don’t understand, our moose really do get that big” and scrolled back up, and entirely without my consent the phrase “sweet holy Jesus“ came flying out of my mouth. I think I just begged for protection from a deity I don’t even worship and I live in Arizona.
This puts my “I was chased by a snapping turtle the size of a manhole cover” story to shame, man. Holy fucking shit on a stick.
GUYS YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW
Right. I’m Canadian. This is an average moose. My friend was in a horrible accident with one and is a quadriplegic as a result. When I drove across the country I followed quietly and slowly behind the huge tractor-trailers because I was terrified of hitting a moose.
I have never been so terrified as being in the woods with a moose and her baby. Strolling near the Banff hotsprings and YIKES. She was NOT HAPPY to see me. I’ve been face to face with a black bear, heard wolves hollering and had a pack of coyotes run around me and not be that frightened. I basically just curled up quietly for half an hour and did not breathe until they were long gone.
The only woodland critter I am more afraid of is a cougar because they will stalk you and murder you for fun.
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Kimchi and Justice 