honestly if you’re a secret government organisation dealing with paranormal activity, the worst thing you could do is swan about in trenchcoats with beeping gadgets. what you want is a website (terrible layout, cursor turns into a ufo, x-files theme automatically plays in the background) that loudly proclaims that you are all government-issue paranormal investigators, no really, you are. you want DRAMATIC ARTICLES in ALL CAPS asking if your cousin’s dog could be an alien. nobody would believe you for a second, so you could get on with the real business of protecting the prime minister from rogue Blorgoxicons or whatever.
adding to this, stop hiring charismatic men in dramatic coats who are good at shooting things. if you are in the states (as i know from my constant surveillance of american tv shows), you can’t spit without hitting one. they are OVERRATED. hire linguists! biologists! diplomats! make sure you don’t accidentally start an intergalactic war by offering a giant slugperson a cuppa!
I mean, yes!
But if it were me, I’d just issue all my employees overalls and a hardhat. People will ignore anyone in overalls and a hardhat.
“All of the chairs in the room just levitated!”
“Maintenance problem, ma’am. Just let us look into it and it should be back to normal in a few days.”
“No one notices a sweeper.” – annotations by the learned Lu-tse to The Way of Mrs Cosmopilite, 3 Quirm Street, Ankh-Morpork (Rooms for Rent: Very Reasonable)
[This is literally the way Lu-tse pulls off 95% of his Amazing Instances of Saving the World. He’s a little man and he carries a broom: nobody notices little men sweeping up all over the place.]
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Kimchi and Justice 