The 13 Original Colonies, Simplified

Connecticut: Rich(er) White(r) People
Delaware: Exists, Allegedly
Georgia: Failed Penal Colony
New Hampshire: Massachusetts-Induced Inferiority Complex
North Carolina: South’s Carolina’s Bitch
Maryland: Catholics
Massachusetts: The Instigator
New Jersey: Everything’s Legal
New York: Fuck New Jersey
Pennsylvania: Dirty Hippy Quakers
Rhode Island: Ex-Puritans
South Carolina: Token Evil Teammate
Virginia: The Prima Donna