*pulls out several binders of information regarding Laurens’s non-heterosexuality and drops them with a loud thud in front of you*
I have plenty of evidence as to why Laurens was likely queer (I think he was gay, but if you think he may have been bisexual or something else, I’m cool with that too). Here we go –
On October 13, 1767, Henry Laurens wrote the following to James Grant:
Master Jack is too closely wedded to his studies to think about any of the Miss Nanny’s I would not have such a sound in his Ear, for a Crown; why drive the poor Dog, to what Nature will irresistably prompt him to be plagued with in all probability much too soon.
John was born on October 28, 1754, so he was just a couple of weeks shy of being 13 years old when this was written. Thirteen is a typical age for people to be going through puberty and figuring out who they are (and aren’t) attracted to, so the fact that John has shown zero interest in girls at this point (and for his whole life, really) suggests that he likely wasn’t attracted to them. I understand that sexuality is fluid and that this isn’t 100% definitive, irrefutable proof that Laurens was gay, but I do think it is an important piece of information from John’s early teenage years.
John also didn’t form many close relationships with women. He was close with his sisters and other female family members, but outside of that, he didn’t really seem to interact with women. Even Massey acknowledges this in his biography of Laurens:
In Geneva John worked hard, but he did not let his studies prevent him from forming close ties with fellow students and teachers. It marked the beginning of a pattern: he continually centered his life around homosocial attachments to other men. A handsome young man, properly genteel in his comportment, intellectually stimulating in his conversation, John never had difficulty attracting women and men. Women played important roles in his life, but he reserved his primary emotional commitments for other men.
Of course Massey, being the homophobe that he is, classifies these relationships as “homosocial,” but the point still stands that John enjoyed spending most of his time with men.
Now we get to John’s relationship with Martha Manning. A lot of historians like Massey like to use his marriage to Martha as absolute proof that Laurens was straight. There are a lot of issues with that.
1. We have no idea what went down in the bedroom on the night(s) John and Martha had sex. It is quite possible (and, in my opinion, the most likely explanation) that Martha led their bedroom activities and that John followed in the hopes that he could convince himself that he could love/have sex with a woman. Heterosexuality was the only acceptable sexuality then, so John likely would have felt compelled to hide his queerness and put on an appearance of heterosexuality in order to be accepted.
2. Laurens wrote to his uncle that he married Martha out of pity for her situation:
I should inform you of an important change in my circumstances_ Pity has obliged me to marry_ but a consideration of the duty which I owe to my country made me choose a clandestine celebration, lest the father should insist upon my stay in this country as a condition of the marriage_ the matter has proceeded too far to be longer concealed, and I have this morning disclosed the affair to Mr. Manning in plain terms_ reserving to myself the right of fulfilling the more important engagements to my country. It may be convenient on some accounts that the matter should be kept secret till you hear next from me, & you will oblige me by keeping it so.
Laurens clearly married Martha to preserve the honor of her and their child. Laurens had quite an obsession with honor, and he could not allow himself to dishonor these people. But Laurens left before his daughter was born, making it clear that he cared more about his country than his new family. Laurens would never see his wife or child again. Martha would die near the end of 1781, and Laurens would die in August 1782. He did make some attempts to bring them over the America, but since their countries were in the middle of a war, this was difficult. He seems to have only written a few letters to her during the war, and we only have one that survived. It also seems that Martha wrote him more often than he wrote to her. And even though John was in France in 1781 (before Martha died) to gain more aid from France, it does not appear that he made any attempt to meet with his wife or daughter during this visit.
Now we get to everyone’s favorite 18th century bisexual – Alexander Hamilton. Laurens’s relationship with Hamilton pretty much screams, “not straight.”
First of all, Laurens never told Hamilton about his wife and child. Not even when Laurens got into a duel with Charles Lee and asked Hamilton to be his second. Laurens literally could have died, and Hamilton probably would have been the one to handle the stuff surrounding that, and at this time, Hamilton was completely unaware that Laurens was married and had a kid. Very not-gay of you, Laurens. Hamilton only happened to learned about Mrs. Laurens and child when he was asked to forward some letters from Martha to John – and this happened one and a half years after Hamilton and Laurens met. It’s not like John would have any reason to keep his wife and kid secret from Hamilton, right? Just guys being dudes. No homo.
When Laurens left Washington’s camp to head south, he wrote the following to Hamilton:
Ternant will relate to you how many violent struggles I have had between duty and inclination_ how much my heart was with you, while i appeared to be most actively employed here_
Hamilton was also begging Washington for leave to head south and get a field command during this time, so it would appear that Hamilton and Laurens could not bear to be separated.
We also have this lovely gem from Hamilton to Laurens, written when Laurens was a POW and Hamilton was soon to be married:
In spite of Schuylers black eyes, I have still a part for the public and
another for you; so your impatience to have me married is misplaced; a
strange cure by the way, as if after matrimony I was to be less devoted
than I am now. Let me tell you, that I intend to restore the empire of
Hymen and that Cupid is to be his prime Minister. I wish you were at
liberty to transgress the bounds of Pensylvania. I would invite you after the fall to Albany to be witness to the final consummation.
My Mistress is a good girl, and already loves you because I have told
her you are a clever fellow and my friend; but mind, she loves you a l’americaine not a la françoise.Clearly, Laurens had believed that marriage might be able to “cure” Hamilton of something going on between them. And Hamilton just invited Laurens to a threesome on his wedding night. Just another example of bros doing bro things.
One of my favorite examples of Laurens’s queerness is his use of the phrases “dear girl” and “dear boy.” In the one surviving letter we have from Laurens to his wife, he used this phrase:
Reflect for a moment into how much misery we might both be plunged by your captivity, and say dear Girl whether it will not be better to endure the pain of absence patiently, ‘till some eligible opportunity offer.
From Laurens to Hamilton, we have this phrase (there may be more uses of “dear boy” in Laurens’s letters to Hamilton, but this is the only one I can think of at the moment):
Adieu, my dear boy. I shall set out for camp tomorrow.
Bolding in both is mine. To my knowledge, Laurens only ever used “dear girl” to address his wife, and he only ever used “dear boy” to address Hamilton. He saved these terms of endearment for these two people. So for Hamilton, Laurens used the male equivalent of a term of endearment he used to attempt to express his care and affection for his wife.
Finally, we get to Laurens’s last letter to Hamilton. Laurens closed this letter with the following:
Adieu, my dear friend; while circumstances place so great a distance between us, I entreat you not to withdraw the consolation of your letters. You know the unalterable sentiments of your affectionate Laurens.
Most of John’s closings, to Hamilton or anyone else, were often something simple such as, “Adieu” or “Yours ever.” This is by far the most emotionally expressive of Laurens’s closings. Also note his use of “dear friend,” which brings us back to the discussion of “dear boy.”
This covers just about everything in regards to Laurens’s queerness. I have a lengthy post here that discusses the Hamilton-Laurens relationship further. I hope this convinces you that Massey is not to be trusted in his interpretations of Laurens’s sexuality.