deadhabsburgs:

iossarian:

iliad au where everything is the same except every time agamemnon goes on an angry rant he prefaces it with “aga-scuse me???”

“Aga-scuse me, old man,
don’t let me catch you by our hollow ships,
sneaking back here today or later on.                  
Who cares about Apollo’s scarf and staff?
I’ll not release the girl to you, no, not before
she’s grown old with me in Argos, far from home,                                    
working the loom, sharing my bed. Go away.
If you want to get home safely, don’t anger me.
It’s Agamem-non, not Agamem-oui.”

[Agamemnon flips

Chryses

off.  Exeunt Agamemnon, stage left.]