itsbenedict:

i dreamt about a children’s book last night that holds up surprisingly well for something that came out of the nonsense jumble of concepts my dreams throw at me

it’s called “The Cutest Most Precious Little Girl In All The World”, and it’s about a little girl (whose head is never seen, always just out of frame or obscured by something in the foreground) who’s annoyed with being called “cute”. she doesn’t want to be cute! she wants to be tough and scary!

there’s a series of increasingly outlandish patronizing events surrounding her- first her parents doting, then her whole extended family fawning, then random strangers forming crowds, then the president showing up and giving her the official title, then she’s forced to go on tour or something

anyway eventually she gets fed up with all this and runs away! and… somehow, the dream didn’t specify, but let’s assume she went to NASA and stole a rocket- she ends up on an alien spaceship, with a bunch of big scary green things

the aliens immediately freak out, having never seen anything so utterly terrifying in their entire lives, and the book ends with the little girl gleefully chasing the terrified extraterrestrials around their ship as they run around in a panic