Oh god you have no idea what you’ve just started:
-Thomas Jefferson almost starts war with England because he escorted the wrong woman into dinner.
-Merriwether Lewis is accidentally shot in the ass.
-Andrew Jackson’s parrot is ejected from Jackson’s funeral because the American people won’t let the parrot say fuck.
-James Madison accidentally buys prostitutes.
-William Henry Harrison thinks bad life choices are a good idea and dies.
-The Treaty of Ghent
-Abraham Lincoln is elected and everyone in Baltimore is super pumped until they see a picture of him and collectively decided that nobody that ugly should be president. (disclaimer: I am not of the belief that Abe was ugly, but you have to admit the people of Baltimore and fucking petty and it’s hilarious)
-New England tries to secede because James Madison isn’t their real dad. The country takes it has a huge joke and laughs it off (even though they were 110% serious about leaving the union.)
-John C Calhoun. That’s it. Just John C Calhoun: what a fucking meme of a man.
#I really want sources not to sound to factcheck but to read more this is great
No problem friend, here are some sources for the facts!
Thomas Jefferson almost starts a war with England because he escorted the wrong woman into dinner (x) (x)
Merriwether Lewis is accidentally shot in the ass (x)
James Madison accidentally buys prostitutes (x) (side note: I never thought I’d ever google the phrase “James Madison prostitutes” and yet here we are)
William Henry Harrison’s bad life choices (x)
The Treaty of Ghent (x)
Baltimore hates the ugly president (x)
New England tries to run away from home (x)
John C fucking Calhoun (x)
What are some funny US history moments you can think of?
Published
Kimchi and Justice 