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wellbehavedwomen-dontmakehistory:
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ok look i know its not comic canon but ever since i found out pietro and wanda were jewish (back when all i knew was x-men evolution) i’ve wanted them to be buds with kitty pryde
we are several years a couple of movies and so many comics past that point but, i still want it
the maximoffs are jewish mutants and need to have jewish mutant seders with kitty that is all bYe
Headcanon that Magneto “kidnaps” all Jewish mutants – and probably several Jewish non-mutant heroes for a Seder every year, because he knows it’s the only way they’ll be able to make the time for it, since there’s villains attacking every two seconds.
The Avengers and X-men track down their missing teammates roughly around the time of “Chad Gadya”.
I would read this comic
R-who-is-not-on-Tumblr and I have QUESTIONS
Does using a mutant power count as work? Is it enough to not actively use your power, or would really Orthodox mutants look for a temporary suppressant?
Who would be the Shabbos non-Jew for Magneto? I mean, Charles, obviously, back in the day, but now? Pyro, maybe? 99.9% sure Nightcrawler would be there for Kitty.
Would creating this as a LARP be as amazing as I think?
Don’t forget Ben Grimm in your Jewish Marvel Characters group.
When did this blow up
anyway Kurt is def the Shabbos goy for Kitty bc Kitty is the guardian of whatever he gives up for Lent
Magneto probably got Toad to do that during the brotherhood days but who knows
Ben Grimm is the uncle who hides the afikoman in the same place every year
anyway if someone does the art I’ll write this marvel hire me
Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes talking post-mission stuff when suddenly, Bucky’s metal arm points upwards and he winds up being carried away. The last thing he hears Bucky yell before he disappears into the sky behind Magneto is “I RSVP’d this year, Magnus! This really isn’t – “
“It’s tradition that I kidnap you, Barnes. And after all, tonight is all about tradition!”
i have just been informed moon knightis also jewish so i will be reading all his comics immediately
anyway imagine patrilineal bobby drake mind his own business doing x-men business like teaching kids how to kill things with their powers when suddenly
nYOOOOOOM
and he’s gone
on the ground there’s a note like
“you’re invited to the maximoff family seder 5776, please RSVP and indicate preferred method of kidnapping”
and there are little boxes next to options like “reality portal” “speedster pickup” “metal”
did someone say they need a rromani jewish artist?
SUP GUYSyou me wombatking lets make this happen
Dr. Walter Langkowski drops by from Canada. No one bats an eyelash when the 8-foot-tall Sasquatch walks in. It’s not even in the top ten bizarre things that happen when Magneto hosts his annual seder.
If this actually becomes a comic I will buy 20. I know a lot of people I need to gift it to.
it’s almost passover, i’m bringing this shiz back
ok but I want to know more about how Magneto leads the Seder
is his style “mumblerush through all the liturgical text as fast as possible and skip bits if everyone is bored” or “every single word gets read aloud and translated since most of us don’t know a lot of Hebrew” or “find a new variant text every year to keep things interesting” or what
does he pick individuals at the table to take turns reading aloud (and assign the bit about the Wicked Son to whoever he’s most annoyed with at the moment)
is there singing
Um. This is fairly obvious, I think. There’s a tradition of leftist seders, of feminist seders, of stonewall seders. A family we regularly did a seder with at least two years out of three had half the wobblie songbook at the back of their hagadah.
Magneto would run a MUTANT SEDER. It would have a lot of the liturgy, but not all and not strictly (no one is going to argue Magnus is particularly observant) but it would also have a lot of sidenotes about the oppression and coming liberation of the Mutants. A reading about Genosha-as-Mitzrayim. A genetic sample on the seder plate. A reading about inviting all mutants in to come eat and how Eliyahu is probably masquerading as a Morlock with teleportation powers. Very pointed shade thrown at En Sabah Nur. “If he had destroyed Master Mold and not returned the Phoenix Force Dayyenu If he had returned the Phoenix Force and not restarted mutant births Dayyenu.”
Moon Knight is, of course, always embarrassed during the seder. He’s Jewish, but he’s also the champion of an Egyptian god, so he’s very conflicted about the liturgy, especially the plague of darkness, which seems to offend the patron of travelers-by-night.
Billy brings Teddy, and they’re both happy to be there, but they don’t sit near Wanda – he just can’t deal sometimes and neither can she.
This – not Christmas, not any other day of the year – is the one day nobody starts shit. After all. We have literally seen God in the Marvel Context and He’s LITERALLY JEWISH.
(full disclosure: I may have been hoping someone would go there)
Attempts to retell the Pesach story descending into actual physical brawls over whether Moses was a mutant, tho.
This is Elijah’s favorite seder. He actually drinks his entire cup of wine.
(Someone tell me the invisible dude who travels around the world to every fucking Pesach dinner party isn’t a mutant. I will fight you.)
Billy would be THRILLED to go to a seder with all these superheroes! So! Happy!!! But also he’s a HUGE NERD, so he keeps doing stuff like accidentally magicking all the haggadot into Hamilton versions.
Tommy is booooored it is so long and slowwww. (Actually, do we know if Tommy considers himself Jewish? Grandpa Magneto would totally consider him Jewish though.) Pietro has to keep zipping across the room and kick him to keep him from nodding off.
Y’know, just…why not all the Young Avengers coming to the Maximoff seder? Obvs Teddy comes with Billy, both to the mutant seder and to the Kaplans’ seder. David would probably come anyway since he knows All The Mutants, and it becomes his job to poke Tommy. America, should, theoretically, have no idea what’s going on, but she does come from a dimension created by Billy, so who knows? Kate grabs a seat by Bucky Barnes, of course. Noh-Varr thinks the singing is great and casually eats tons of maror. Loki…like, they are literally a god from another religion and also obsessed with bacon, lbr they are probably never invited again.
ALSO: When Bucky gets a pickup via arm-magnetizing, Nat is just like “oh, nice,” and hops on his back
Kimchi and Justice 