More Top Moments in Early American History

alexanderhammyton:

– James Madison “accidentally” buys prostitutes for foreign ambassadors

– Jefferson eating a tomato like an apple at a dinner and everyone rushing off to find a doctor because Americans thought tomatoes were poisonous

– Washington and Lafayette falling asleep under a tree after Monmouth

– Washington cursing out Charles Lee after his retreat

– James Armistead Lafayette, who was a badass spy during the revolution and gave Lafayette vital information which led to the victory at Yorktown. Lafayette freed him and James was so grateful he took Lafayette’s last name

– Lafayette being given an alligator as a gift and, not knowing what to do with it, regifting it to John Quincy Adams

– the Constitutional Convention going out and getting turnt two days before the signing of the Constitution, and some of the additional charges being a broken chair, cups, and chamber pots

– John Hancock being smol

– Alexander Hamilton’s argument against hanging John Andrè basically being “he’s too pretty”

– Aaron Burr sleeping through Valentine’s Day

– Lafayette naming his ONLY son after George Washington

– Ben Franklin and John Adams once having to share a room with one bed and falling asleep arguing whether or not they should sleep with the window open or closed

– Ben Franklin taking “air baths” which consisted of him sitting naked in a bathtub for hours a day

– Aaron Burr having a knife hidden in the handle of his umbrella, and then LOSING said umbrella

– John Adams’ kid Charles once ran naked across Harvard Yard

– Alexander Hamilton losing his check book and having to write the bank of New York for a new one, while also requesting his account balance which he didn’t know, which he wrote in the check book, which he lost

– Aaron Burr hitting his head on the same pipe twice jfc he’s such a mess

– Thomas Jefferson getting a terrible headache for two days after behaving awkwardly in front of a girl

– John Adams naming his dog Satan

– Alexander Hamilton’s letters to his totally hetero bro™ John Laurens being censored by his descendants

– George Washington running for the House of Burgesses and getting his constituents totally smashed so they would vote for him