shadowofaseraph:

aprilwitching:

phloxfrangipani:

jewishzevran:

tikkunolamorgtfo:

raltvater:

snafflebithumptywink:

i-aint-even-bovvered:

fuck-me-barnes:

pringlesaremydivision:

i-will-not-be-caged:

misa-nthropy:

threefootroo:

this-simple-mind:

bloodyfrank:

supervillainesses:

loracarol:

petergatsbygreen:

wittyandcharming:

lufthexe:

deluxetoaster:

okay, listen for a sec. We all know the “”“"American”“”“” Harry Potter universe houses are trash for many, many reasons. One of the reasons is that America is too big to have just one wizarding school where there are only 4 houses, right? so I propose that we in MA instead start sorting ourselves into these exclusive New England houses I made up as I wrote this post:

-Dunked Donut (those who are loyal to their ideals, strong-willed and hardworking but susceptible to black-and-white thinking)

-Duck Boat (those with a hunger for life experience, sharp and analytical but also impulsive and desperate for thrills)

-Lobster (those who are blue-blood types with a taste for power and the intelligence to lead effectively but tend to be overzealous and can’t appreciate the subtleties of teamwork)

-Murphy, they’re literally just the Dropkick Murphys we made a whole house for them and none of them even attend the school it’s just in case one of them shows up one day

Florida Houses:

-Sunburn

-Gator

-Pub sub

-Gun

California Houses:

-In n Out

-Chili Peppers

-Redwood

-Drought 

Tennessee Houses:

-Mountain Dewds

-Cowboys without Horses

-Drunken Housewifes

-Dead Deer Collectors

Oregon Houses:

– Sasquatch

– Dysentary

– Hippies

– Hipsters

Missouri Houses:

-Tornados

-Corn

-Suburban Deer

-Mosquitos

New York Houses:

-Bacon, egg, and cheese

-Road Rage

-Constant Yelling

-Pizza

Nevada Houses:

-Air Conditioning

-Stripper Glitter

-Chlorine Hair

-Indie Band

wisconsin houses:

– cheddar

– gouda

– mozzarella

– the green bay packers

Ohio houses:

– corn corn rotate soy

– Hell Is Real

– industrial river pollution

– buckeyes

Texas houses:

– piney woods

– black gold

– cow manure

– big hair

– Keep Austin Weird

(We need five, because everything’s bigger in Texas)

Illinois houses:

– Cubs

– Sox

– Bears

– Blackhawks

nah fam Illinois houses are 

– The City

– South of I-80

that’s it, that’s all, we only have two houses

New Jersey Houses

– Jersey Devil (people think it’s named after the cryptid, but it’s actually named after the hockey team)

– Taylor Ham/Pork Roll (the house is broken up into two competing factions)

– Central (the Hufflepuff equivalent in that so many discount it as unimportant or doesn’t count)

– Giants (they’re OUR TEAM! FUCK YOU NEW YORK)

Indiana Houses

– Even More Corn

– Racecar

– WASP moms

– Lil Sebastian

New York Houses? You mean NYC Houses. New York would have separate schools- the one listed above (in which I would be Bacon, Egg, and Cheese), and the rest of the state.

– Deep Woods
– Eerie Conservative Pockets
– Chicken Wings
– Basically Canada

There are actually two sets of Illinois houses. 

Chicago: 

-Viagra Triangle (Pink and Gold)
-Pullman (Bronze and Black)
-El Paseo (Red and Blue)
-Lake Shore Brunch (Green + whatever color is most ironic right now) 

Suburbs & Downstate: 

-Commuter North (White and Navy)
-Tornado South (Grey and Maroon)
-Drinkin’ Lincoln (Orange and Blue)
-Quadtopia (Yellow and Dark Green)

MAryland:

-crab

-spices

-flag

-things patterned in our flag

maine houses :

lobsterboat

moosetracks

“Gonna Get Some Weatha”

big piece of granite

pennsylvania houses:

-sheetz

– wawa (HUGE rivalry with sheetz house)

– perpetual underground trash fire

– ghost hunters

North Carolina:

Lighthouse

Lost Colony

Airplane (fuck Ohio)

Everything West of Raleigh BC That Part Doesn’t Really Matter

(Embittered resident of WNC reporting for duty)