susiephone:

bruce anonymously commenting on various batman forums (especially on reddit) and pissing everyone off with his “inane” theories

bruce: “batman probably secretly calls all his shit the batwhatever. you know, the batmobile, the batcave, shit like that. he probably does it bc it makes him feel cool.”

someone: “that is the stupidest fucking headcanon i have ever heard.”

someone else: “i kind of dig it, though.”

bruce: “no, no, guys WHAT IF – hear me out – the reason batman doesn’t use guns is because a gun KILLED HIS PARENTS”

someone: “no, no, but WHAT IF – hear me out – you shut the fuck up”

bruce: “i bet batman doesn’t even like bats. i think he secretly fears them.”

someone: “seriously why haven’t we blocked this guy”