alexander the great was a weird horse girl

thoodleoo:

• when alexander first saw bucephalus and found out that his dad philip didn’t want to buy the horse because he was unmanageable, he kept saying that it sure would be a shame to give up such an awesome horse
• he kept saying this until philip was like well alex do you think you’re so great that you can tame this horse
• of course alexander said yes
• alexander tamed this Troubled Horse Who Lets No One Else Handle Him by being gentle to him and and turning him away from his shadow
• literally like a Horse Girl Movie ™
• philip was so amazed by this that he told alex that macedonia was clearly too small of a kingdom for him
• in the words of a delightful ode to bucephalus, “fuck you, dad”
• bucephalus became alexander’s favorite horse whom he loved without equal and who wouldn’t let anyone else ride him
• one time bucephalus got kidnapped by persians and alexander freaked the fuck out
• he promised that he would cut down every tree, burn all the crops he found, and kill every living creature until he got his horse back
• needless to say, bucephalus was returned along with a plea for mercy
• bucephalus then supposedly lived to be about 30 years old which is pretty long for an ancient horse
• when he died alexander was so upset that he named a city bucephala after him
• that’s right, a city named after his horse
• somebody please make a Horse Girl Movie ™ about alex g