darchildre:

kindlecoverdisasters:

Well, so long as you’re going mushroom picking, you might as well dress up for it. And carry a trombone.

Buy it HERE.

No, for serious, you guys.  You need to find a copy of this book.  It is amazing.  My coworkers and I tell everybody about it.

Every picture in the book is like this.  They are all inexplicable, full of exactly the kind of people you expect to be in a book with this cover, wearing clothing that is either entirely inappropriate for mushrooming or exactly the clothes you wear mushrooming (which are eccentric), and doing strange and silly things with fungs.

It is amazing.

Probably it is also informative about mushrooms, as our local mushroomers do check it out a lot, but mostly the pictures are just great.

occupationprophet:

When writing really long and boring essays I like to throw in really unprofessional footnotes to amuse myself. Sometimes I delete them. Sometimes I don’t. Example:

Both of these heroes were also cannibalized by James Joyce in two of the most convoluted and celebrated novels in English literature.1

1) I’ve still yet to have anyone explain to me how Joyce isn’t writing bad fanfic. AU? Check. Pun heavy? Check. Unnecessary gratuitous wank scene? Check. It’s fucking My Immortal Finnegan. Fuck Joyce. 

lucifermistress:

just-shower-thoughts:

I can’t look at a word without reading it

Have you ever try to study from a textbook before? Because let me tell you I can stare at a page full of words and not read a single one.

i have this problem so bad that sometimes when i’m out walking or something a random word just APPEARS IN MY MIND and then i wind up spending like five minutes trying to find the car bumper or store window or whatever that i passed that had the word on it, because i read the word WITHOUT EVEN PROCESSING THAT I SAW IT.

ancient literature as onion headlines

the iliad: Area Man Expected To Work With These Incompetents
the odyssey: Prodigal Asshole Returns
the aeneid: Man Who Thought He’d Lost All Hope Loses Last Additional Bit Of Hope He Didn’t Even Know He Still Had
the satyricon: I Fucked My Way Into This Mess, And I’ll Fuck My Way Out
medea: Relationship Not A Power Struggle, Woman Who’s Winning Reports
the bacchae: Area Man Just In Bad Mood Because He’s Tired And An Awful Human Being
iphigenia at aulis: Guests Forced To Pretend Wedding A Good Thing
agamemnon: Study Finds Expressing Anger In Unhealthy Ways Incredibly Satisfying
oedipus the king: True Courage Is Knowing You’re Wrong But Refusing To Admit It
herodotus’s histories: Historians Admit To Inventing Ancient Greeks
the poetry of catullus: Relationship Definitely Hurtling Toward Something
the ars amatoria: Man’s Relationship Advice Same As His Hunting Tips
the speeches of cicero: Here Are All Of My Opinions
the epigrams of martial: Come On, Lighten Up, I’m Just Being A Total Asshole