Tag: archiving just in case

goingtopshelf:

punchbuggydragon:

breelandwalker:

irontargaryen:

*cracks neck* my time has come

Okay, first? Pay off all your debts. Take out a small loan and pay it off right away.

Buy several hundred vacant houses. Schedule repairs for said houses with reputable contractors and make sizable down payments in advance. Get everything in writing and hang onto those deeds.

Buy a large open parcel of land that is being auctioned for development. And when I say large, I mean LARGE.

Sink millions into paying off people’s Kickstarters / college loans / medical bills / mortgages, and give generously charity organizations. That alone will carry off a lot of money.

Once you’ve got things down to a reasonable level, say $1m, buy yourself a house, furnishings, appliances, and a dependable car. Pay everything off so that you own it free and clear. Purchase about $200k worth of something easy to liquidate (i.e. gold, gems, bonds, stocks). Put the rest onto prepaid credit cards and wait for Monday to roll around.

NOW THE FUN BEGINS.

You now have commendable credit and a shining public reputation.

Fix up and flip those houses, sell them for fair market value or below to families who need them, or create non-profit homeless shelters. (After all, it’s not like you need to “make” money, this is all running on the proceeds from the property sales.)

Sell the parcel of land to developers, or donate it to public works as a park or open space. Have them name it after you.

Retire to your fully furnished home. Liquidate your extra assets, or leave them to appreciate in value for a later date. Make Christmas epic with those gift cards. Keep the extra money in the bank and keep your day job.

And don’t worry about taxes when return time rolls around, because you’ll be able to write off several millions’ worth of charitable donations.

Basically this

This is someone who paid attention in finance class. 

petrolblue:

Laura’s Loop: The Sweatshirt Sweater

The Materials

The Pattern

Gauge

5 ½ stitches = 1 inch in stockinette on larger needles 

Sizes + Dimensions

X-Small (Small, Medium, Large, X-Large)

Finished Chest Circumference: 33 ¾ (37 ½, 41, 44 ¾, 48 ¼) inches

Finished Hip Circumference: 28 (31, 34, 37, 40) inches

Finished Length from Bottom Edge to Underarm: 14 inches, with directions to adjust 

Finished Length from Shoulder to Underarm: 7 ½ (8 ¼, 9 ¼, 9 ¾, 10) inches 

Finished Length from Sleeve Cuff to Underarm: 16 (17, 19, 19 ½, 20 ½) inches, with direction to adjust

NOTE: Size Small sweater shown here on 34-inch bust dressform with 3 ½ inches of ease. Please pay close attention to finished dimensions above when selecting which size to make!

Pattern Notes

Slip 1, k2tog, psso (or sk2p): This is a left-slanting double decrease. Slip 1 purlwise, knit 2 together, pass the slipped stitch over the knit stitch and off the needle. 

Knit 3 together (or k3tog): This is a right-slanting double decrease. Insert right needle into next three stitches as if to knit. Knit all three stitches together as if they were one stitch.

Begin Sleeves

With the smaller sized double pointed needles, cast on 42 (45, 51, 54, 60) stitches.

Place marker and join for working in the round, being careful to not twist the stitches.

Round 1:  *K2, p1, repeat from * to end of round. 

Repeat Round 1 until piece measures 3 inches from cast on edge. 

Change to larger double pointed needles.

Round 2: K35 (38, 44, 47, 53), place different color marker (pm), [p1, k2] two times, p1.

** Round 3 (increase round): M1L, knit to next marker, m1R, slip marker (sm), [p1, k2] two times, p1. (2 stitches increased)

Round 4: Knit to next marker, [p1, k2] two times, p1.

Repeat Round 4 five (four, five, four, four) more times.

Repeat from ** eleven (14, 14, 17, 18) more times. 66 (75, 81, 90, 98) stitches

Repeat Round 3. 68 (77, 83, 92, 100) stitches

Note: If you are particularly short (or long) limbed and would like to adjust the length of the sleeve, 

repeat Round 4 fewer (or more) times between increase rounds.

Next Round: K0 (0, 1, 2, 3), place previous 7 (7, 9, 11, 13) stitches on a stitch holder or scrap yarn, removing stitch markers.

Place remaining 61 (70, 74, 81, 87) stitches on scrap yarn or a spare circular needle. 

Make a second sleeve identical to the first.

Begin Body  

With the smaller, 24- or 32-inch circular needle, cast on 168 (186, 204, 222, 240) stitches.

Place marker and connect for working in the round, being careful to not twist the stitches. 

Round 1: *K2, p1, repeat from * to end of round. 

Repeat Round 1 until piece measures 2 ¼ (2 ¼, 2 ¼, 2 ½, 2 ½, 3) inches. 

Next Round (increase round): *K5, k1fb, [k8, k1fb] 8 (9, 10, 11, 12) times, [k2, p1] two times, repeat from * to end of round. 186 (206, 226, 246, 266 stitches)

Next Round: With larger, 24- or 32-inch circular needle, *k86 (96, 106, 116, 126), place different color marker, [p1, k2] two times, p1, repeat from * to end of round. 

Next Round: *Knit to next marker, [p1, k2] two times, p1, repeat from * to end of round. 

Repeat last round until piece measures 3 ¼ (3 ¼, 3 ¼, 3 ½, 3 ½, 4) inches from cast on edge. 

Mark for Pouch (Optional)

Note: If you are not making the pouch, skip to the “Continue” section.

Round 1: K7, mark this 7th stitch with a removable stitch marker, *knit to next marker, [p1, k2] two times, p1, repeat from * to end of round.

Continue working in established pattern until piece measures 10 (10 ¼, 10 ½, 11, 12) inches from cast on edge.

Make the Pouch (Optional)

With the extra larger circular needle, starting with (and including) the marked stitch, slip the point of the needle under the right leg of the following 74 (84, 94, 104, 114) stitches

Remove the removable marker. 

For this section, you will be working just the 74 (84, 94, 104, 114) pouch stitches. You’ll work back and forth in rows, turning the piece at the end of each row.

Row 1 (right side): K1, p1, [k2, p1] two times, knit to last 8 stitches, [p1, k2] two times, p1, k1. 

Row 2 (wrong side): P1, k1, [p2, k1] two times, purl to last 8 stitches, [k1, p2] two times, k1, p1.

Row 3 (decrease row): K1, p1, [k2, p1]  two times, ssk, knit to last 10 stitches, k2tog, [p1, k2] two times, p1, k1. (2 stitches decreased)

Repeat Rows 2 and 3 eighteen (19, 20, 21, 22) more times. 36 (44, 52, 60, 68) stitches

Repeat Row 2.

Cut yarn, leaving the stitches on the needle.

Graft the Pouch (Optional)

To graft the pouch stitches to the body of the sweater…

Returning to the body of the sweater and continuing from where you left off, k25 (26, 27, 28, 29). Now holding the pouch needle and sweater needle parallel to each other, *knit one stitch from the front pouch needle together with one stitch from the back sweater needle, repeat from *until all the pouch stitches have been knit. Now continuing with just the body stitches and working again in the round, **knit to next marker, [p1, k2], two times, p1, repeat from ** to end of round. 

Continue

Continue working in established pattern until body of sweater measures 14 inches from cast on edge or desired length to underarm.

Attach the Sleeves

Round 1: *Knit to next marker, [p1, k2] two times, p1, k0 (0, 1, 2, 3), place previous 7 (7, 9, 11, 13) stitches on a stitch holder (removing marker), knit to next marker, [p1, k2] two times, p1. 179 (199, 217, 235, 253) stitches

Round 2: K0 (0, 1, 2, 3), place previous 7 (7, 9, 11, 13) stitches on a stitch holder (removing marker), knit to first stitch holder, pm, orient the sleeve’s on-hold underarm stitches so they are parallel and next to the body’s on-hold underarm stitches and knit the sleeve stitches (starting with the stitch to the right of the stitches on hold), pm, knit to next stitch holder, pm, knit the second sleeve stitches, place a different color marker (this is the new end of the round). 294 (332, 356, 386, 414) total stitches: 86 (96, 104, 112, 120) stitches for front and back, 61 (70, 74, 81, 87) stitches for each sleeve  

Begin Raglan

Round 1: *P1, k2, p1, knit to 4 stitches before next marker, p1, k2, p1, sm, k2, p1, knit to three stitches before next marker, p1, k2, sm, repeat from * to end.

Repeat Round 1 two more times.

Next Round (decrease round): *P1, k2, p1, ssk, knit to 6 stitches before next marker, k2tog, p1, k2, p1, sm, k2, p1, ssk, knit to five stitches before next marker, k2tog, p1, k2, sm, repeat from * to end. (8 stitches decreased) 

Repeat Round 1. 

Repeat last two rounds sixteen (19, 21, 23, 25) more times. 158 (172, 180, 194, 206) total stitches: 52 (56, 60, 64, 68) stitches for front and back, 27 (30, 30, 33, 35) stitches for each sleeve 

Continue Raglan and Shape Crew Neck

You will no longer be working in the round but back and forth in rows, turning the work at the end of each row.

Row 1 (right side): P1, k2, p1, k22 (24, 26, 28, 30), turn work so that wrong side (the inside of the sweater) is facing you. Where you just turned will now be considered the end of the row, and what was previously considered the end-of-round marker is now just a regular marker.

Row 2 (wrong side): Bind off 6 (6, 6, 8, 8) stitches purlwise, [purl to 4 stitches before next marker, k1, p2, k1, sm, p2, k1, purl to 3 stitches before next marker, k1, p2, sm, k1, p2, k1] two times, purl to end of row. 152 (166, 174, 186, 198) total stitches

Row 3 (raglan shaping row): Bind off 6 (6, 6, 8, 8) stitches knitwise, [knit to 6 stitches before marker, k2tog, p1, k2, p1, sm, k2, p1, ssk, knit to 5 stitches before next marker, k2tog, p1, k2, sm, p1, k2, p1, ssk] two times, knit to end of row. 138 (152, 160, 170, 182) stitches

Row 4: Bind off 3 (3, 3, 4, 4) stitches purlwise, [purl to 4 stitches before next marker, k1, p2, k1, sm, p2, k1, purl to 3 stitches before next marker, k1, p2, sm, k1, p2, k1] two times, purl to end of row.  135 (149, 157, 166, 178) stitches

Row 5 (raglan shaping row): Bind off 3, (3, 3, 4, 4) knitwise, [knit to 6 stitches before marker, k2tog, p1, k2, p1, sm, k2, p1, ssk, knit to 5 stitches before next marker, k2tog, p1, k2, sm, p1, k2, p1, ssk] two times, knit to end of row. 124 (138, 146, 154, 166) stitches

Row 6 : Bind off 2 (2, 2, 3, 3) stitches purlwise, [purl to 4 stitches before next marker, k1, p2, k1, sm, p2, k1, purl to 3 stitches before next marker, k1, p2, sm, k1, p2, k1] two times, purl to end of row. 122 (136, 144, 151, 163) stitches

Row 7 (raglan shaping row): Bind off 2 (2, 2, 3, 3) knitwise, [knit to 6 stitches before marker, k2tog, p1, k2, p1, sm, k2, p1, ssk, knit to 5 stitches before next marker, k2tog, p1, k2, sm, p1, k2, p1, ssk] two times, knit to end  of row.  112 (126, 134, 140, 152) stitches 

Row 8: [Purl to 4 stitches before next marker, k1, p2, k1, sm, p2, k1, purl to 3 stitches before next marker, k1, p2, sm, k1, p2, k1] two times, purl to end. 

Row 9 (raglan shaping row): Ssk, [knit to 6 stitches before marker, k2tog, p1, k2, p1, sm, k2, p1, ssk, knit to 5 stitches before next marker, k2tog, p1, k2, sm, p1, k2, p1, ssk] two times, knit to last 2 stitches, k2tog. (10 stitches decreased) 

Repeat Rows 8 and Row 9 two (3, 4, 3, 4) more times. 82 (86, 84, 100, 102) total stitches: 12 (12, 12, 12, 12) total for the front, 40 (42, 44, 50, 52) for back, 15 (16, 14, 19, 19) for each sleeve

For XS (Small, Large, XLarge) Sizes Only

Repeat Row 8.

Next Row: [Knit to 6 stitches before marker, k2tog, p1, k2, p1, sm, k2, p1, ssk, knit to 5 stitches before next marker, k2tog, p1, k2, sm, p1, k2, p1, ssk] two times, knit to end of row. 74 (78, 92, 94) stitches: 10 for right and left front, 38 (40, 48, 50) for back, 13 (14, 17, 17) for each sleeve 

For XS Size Only

Repeat Row 8.

Next Row: Knit to 4 stitches before next marker, p1, k2, p1, sm, k2, p1, ssk, knit to 5 stitches before next marker, k2tog, p1, k2, sm, p1, k2, p1, skp2 (see pattern notes above), knit to 7 stitches before next marker, k3tog (see pattern notes above), p1, k2, p1, sm, k2, p1, ssk, knit to 5 stitches before next marker, k2tog, p1, k2, sm, p1, k2, p1, knit to end of row. 66 total stitches: 10 for  right and left front, 34 for back, 11 for each sleeve

For Medium Size Only

Repeat Row 8.

Next Row: Knit to 6 stitches before marker, k2tog, p1, k2, p1, sm, k2, p1, knit to 3 stitches before next marker, p1, k2, sm, p1, k2, p1, skp2 (see pattern notes above), knit to 7 stitches before next marker, k3tog (see pattern notes above), p1, k2, p1, sm, k2, p1, knit to 3 stitches before next marker, p1, k2, sm, p1, k2, p1, ssk, knit to end of row. 78 stitches: 10 for right and left front, 40 for back, 14 for each sleeve

For Large Size Only 

Repeat Row 8. 

Next Row: Knit to 4 stitches before marker, p1, k2, p1, sm, k2, p1, knit to 3 stitches before next marker, p1, k2, sm, p1, k2, p1, ssk, knit to 6 stitches before next marker, k2tog, p1, k2, p1, sm, k2, p1, knit to 3 stitches before next marker, p1, k2, sm, p1, k2, p1, knit to end of row. 90 total stitches: 10 for  right and left front, 46 for back, 17 for each sleeve

For XLarge Size Only

Repeat Row 8.

Next Row: Knit to 4 stitches before marker, p1, k2, p1, sm, k2, p1, knit to 3 stitches before next marker, p1, k2, sm, p1, k2, p1, skp2 (see pattern notes above), knit to 7 stitches before next marker, k3tog (see pattern notes above), p1, k2, p1, sm, k2, p1, knit to 3 stitches before next marker, p1, k2, sm, p1, k2, p1, knit to end of row. 90 total stitches: 10 for  right and left front, 46 for back, 17 for each sleeve

Make Neckband

For this section, you will once again be working in the round, no longer back and forth in rows. 

Continuing with the right side facing you and now using the smaller, 16-inch circular needle, pm (new beginning of round), pick up 30 (33, 36 ,36 ,39) stitches evenly along the front neckline. Continuing around the remaining 66 (78, 78, 90, 90) stitches, *k1, p1, k1,  repeat from * to end of round. 96 (111, 114, 126, 129) stitches

Next Round: *K1, p1, k1,  repeat from * to end of round.

Repeat last round until ribbing measures 1 ¼ (1 ¼, 1 ½ ,1 ¾ , 2) inches.

Bind off loosely in pattern.

Finish Underarms

Slip one pair of underarm stitches from the stitch holders to two double pointed needles. Holding the needles parallel to one another, use the Kitchener Stitch to graft closed the underarm.

Repeat for second underarm. 

Weave in your ends and you are finished!

last-snowfall:

spacemuffinz:

thedarklordemma:

spacemuffinz:

why are ball jointed dolls so pretty i don’t even like dolls i want to punch myself in the eyes this isn’t fair stop being prettier than me you are made of plastic and the repurposed souls of dead poetry 

oh boy wait til you hear about the dragon ones

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They’re about the size of cats. and you can get them here 

*cries for eternity*

Damn it. I find that human ones creepy as fuck, but now I want that last one.