Tag: autismproblems

People say that you should really do something out of your comfort zone. Why? I worked very hard to find my comfort zone. It was really rough and I can’t even get there that often. Takes all day and I gotta get off to a good start and do all the right things and avoid the right people and find all the right people and do all of these things to find my comfort zone. And then I’m supposed to do something outside of my – Fuck you! You do something outside your comfort zone. My comfort zone is hard-won….

But then, that’s where popular culture and pop psych comes in and wants – and the shtick I was looking at last night was that like, so, if it’s ‘afraid’, then, ‘You should do the things you’re afraid of’. Why? Why? I have felt quite enough fear. I don’t think I will benefit from more fear. I don’t think it’s the missing element in my life. I don’t think that’s the thing I need to be seeking out. ‘Go to the places that scare you.’ No! I have carved out an awesome space in which I don’t have to visit the places that scare me. I don’t like them there. I’ve been there. I know more about them than you, person telling me to go to the places that scare me.

John Darnielle, 2014-04-19 and 2014-04-20 at the Old Town School of Folk Music, Chicago ( track 18 in https://archive.org/details/tmg2014-04-19.oldtown.flac16 and track 21 in https://archive.org/details/tmg2014-04-20)

Go to the places that scare you.

No! I have carved out an awesome space in which I don’t have to visit the places that scare me. I don’t like them there. I’ve been there. I know more about them than you, person telling me to go to the places that scare me.

(via courage-charting)

obscuruslupa:

justexecutivedysfunctionthings:

when your working memory is absolute shit garbage useless so you’re always forgetting appointments and the names of people you’ve met recently (and for about three months after you’ve met them) and verbal instructions given to you five seconds ago

but your long-term memory for things like obscure facts about your interests is so good that people get pissed at you for your short-term memory problems because clearly you’re just faking it, right? /sarcasm

oh my gosh me exactly

stubborn-string-bones:

i am listening to the leak in the living room window drip and like, there is this totally ridiculous idea that if you are having trouble with quotidian problem solving and demonstrating basic living skills all you really need is to be put into an overwhelming situation and you will grow to fit its requirements, you will buck up and you will magically Know What To Do and Do It when you cease to be coddled and like! people tell you this explicitly! and there is literally no alternative presented! this is your only strategy for getting things done! so how are you supposed to even imagine that you will, in fact, forget about the leak and ignore it and stare at it for long periods of time without being able to come up with a solution? there is this belief that you do not do dishes because you are very spoiled and chose not to, that doesn’t allow for the idea that in order to avoid dishes piling up you will carefully use the same cup and spoon and bowl for weeks at a time

and even after watching yourself fail again and again, even when you recognize that this system is flawed and you are, in fact, disabled, you will still sit in your train wreck of a room and figure that you will successfully pack up all of your belongings once the pressure is high enough, that the only reason you are not yet packed is because you are unmotivated

Awareness says: Here is your child. Unfortunately this is a defective child.

Maybe, if you work with this kid hard enough, you will be able to have at least a tiny taste of the joys of parenthood. You will need a lot of money. I am sorry for you. Good luck, don’t expect too much.

Acceptance says: Here is your child! Congratulations!

Awareness says: This is the list of all of your child’s deficits. Good luck, I am so sorry.

Acceptance says: Here is a list of things your child might do differently. Since Autistic brains process things differently, the best approach is to listen to, and observe the child, making necessary accommodations for her to achieve full potential.

Awareness says: Your child cannot understand human feelings. Your non-verbal child will never say “I love you”

Acceptance says: Your child processes feelings in a way that might seem odd, but the feelings are real. The love received will come back, sometimes in a non-speaking way.

Awareness says: Correct those behaviors! Fix this mess!

Acceptance says: Behavior is communication. Understand and respect.

Awareness says: Don’t trust the adults who “have autism”. They are too “high-functioning” to understanding the heartbreaking struggles of “real” autism.

Acceptance says: Everyone struggles. Seek your community/your child’s community for input.

Awareness says: Those “low-functioning” people “with autism” cause too much pain. Burdens! Poor parents!

Acceptance says: Everybody has something to offer and do contribute when supported.

Awareness says: Beware of autism! It will cause havoc in our lives! All these people! How tragic!

Acceptance says: Diversity! Neurodiversity enriches our lives.

Awareness says: Donate to the awesome organizations that have all the pretty puzzle pieces and all the pretty blue lights!

Acceptance says: Support, include everyone!

See the difference?

Are you Aware of us, or are you striving to Accept us?

Because the two are almost opposite concepts.

Amy Sequenzia http://ollibean.com/2015/04/02/i-dont-want-your-awareness/ (via butterflyinthewell)