It was recently brought to our attention that Saturn had yet to be colonized despite wild antisemitic conspiracy theories to the contrary. So, several of us took a few passenger pods and supplies from the generation ship and here we are. Initial observations:
1. Saturn kind of sucks
2. It’s really cold here
3. Like, REALLY cold
4. We may not have thought this one through all the way
Anyway, we’re here so we’re going to try and make the best of things.
One thing we’re lacking is a flag to raise over our new territory. Has no one gotten around to designing a flag for the Eternal Diaspora yet?? Someone should. It’ll probably end up being us, honestly, because there is. like. Not a whole lot to do here.
You look hungry, why don’t you come over for a nosh?
And put a sweater on, I’m getting cold just from looking at you.
We’ll be right over. SOMEONE thought it would be a good idea to not bring any provisions except doughnuts.
THEY’RE CALLED SUFGANIYOT AND THEY ARE DELICIOUS
I’m reading that numbered list, and … I feel like some of our ancestors have probably had these exact observations, replacing “Saturn” with “Russia”.
Jewish horror story in seven words: “I can see…Russia…from my house…”
That ends poorly no matter the context.
In a choice between Russia and the other side of the asteroid belt, I feel confident that my deceased grandparents would have chosen space travel, on the sound logic that there are no cossacks in space.
And fewer buildings to burn during a pogrom.
What is the Saturnian equivalent of “Margolis”? Whatever it is, it probably would’ve ended up as my maiden name, seeing as when my great-grandfather fled Russia for the US, he Anglicized the name, thus providing future generations with “Pearlman.”
Are we sure there are no cossacks in space? I mean it would suck to get all the way out there and then BOOM, Cossacks from Pluto or something.
Kimchi and Justice 