Please fire me. I work at a video store and yesterday a man asked me if I could see if we had a movie in, only when I asked him what movie he wanted, he replied “That one with the bugs!”
I get dumb, vague descriptions like this quite a bit so I powered on and asked him which one and he was like, “You know, that one with the mitochondria’s!”
It took ten minutes (and a lot of yelling from the customer) to find out that he meant midichlorians.
i went to look at this thing on the autism speaks website and it makes you fill out all this information to read the document
also “relationship to autism” “touched by autism”
what the fuck
*touches u with my autism*
[image: a dropdown menu on autism speaks’ website that asks what your “relationship to autism” is. options include “my friend’s family is touched by autism.” end of description]
one time in class we were watching a video about autism and it used the phrase “touched by autism”
my partner and i immediately turned to each other and started rubbing our hands all over each other’s faces and saying “u have been touched by autism”
have i told you guys about the time that i classically conditioned my kindergarten class
I got like 4 anons asking about this so I guess I didn’t:
omg. okay, so basically, I was a “gifted kid” which was code for fucken nerd ass bitch, so i would constantly just stare off into space during class while everyone else was tryna figure out what the fuck our teacher was tryna say. Anyway, I was learning about chemistry and biology outside of school(i know what a fucking nerd amirite ladies), and my dad got me a book that talked about all these famous psychological experiments.
So chapter one was, would you have guessed it, Pavlov’s dog. I thought it my be fun to try something to that extent with my classmates. Now, keep in mind, being a nerdy ass brown kid in a school full of white ppl meant that I wasn’t exactly popular, and no one really talked to me in class or cared what I was doing.
Everyday, at 9:45 am, our teacher would announce that it was snacktime, and everyone would fucking sprint to their cubbies to grab their lunchboxes like it was the goddamn hunger games. Kindergarten kids didn’t really have a concept of time, so i used this to my advantage. At 9:45 as my teacher would walk up to announce snacktime, I would knock on my desk really quickly three times. It was rly subtle, and I wasn’t sure that it would work.
So after two or three weeks, I decided to have some fun. Thirty minutes after school began at like 8:30 or something, I tapped knocked on the desk. Half the class turned their heads and looked straight at the cubbies. 3 boys got up and were about to run to get their lunchbox. One girls stomach started growling REALLY loudly. The teacher had to take 5 minutes to get everyone to calm down and one kid started crying because he thought it was snacktime and he was so shocked and destroyed.
Realizing that I had basically dog trained the whole class, I burst out laughing so hard I fell out of my chair and cut my head on the tile floor and got sent home early because I was laughing so hard they thought I had a concussion or something. When I explained what happened to my dad he left the room, but I could hear him losing it in the hallway.
So everytime now that I learn about classical conditioning in my Neuroscience classes, I have to fight to keep a straight face
can you imagine if tumblr was around when the original star wars came out and in the two year gap between movies there were heated arguments between luke/leia shippers and han/leia shippers and all kind of vague posts and fandom wank and thousands of luke/leia fics on ao3 and people devotedly making gifsets of luke/leia with florence + the machine lyrics only for it be revealed that they were SIBLINGS like can you imagine the fallout
Kimchi and Justice 