how i learned how to spell assassin without using spell check:
ass
ass
in
my legacy
I’m suddenly reminded of the old White Wolf website (publishers of popular roleplaying games about vampire politics, for those who don’t recognise the name). Their forum software had a profanity censor which couldn’t be turned off, and which would block naughty words even when they appeared as components of other words. The censor’s gloss of “ass” was, of course, “butt”; consequently, the word “assassinate” – which, as you might guess, comes up fairly frequently when discussing vampire politics – would appear as “buttbuttinate”.
so I am not sure if the captain america fandom knows that “hydra” is also the name of an open source digital repository framework (like, it’s the architecture that certain museum/archive/library collections databases are built on)
but on an unrelated note, I am not allowed to dramatically whisper “hail hydra” at content management meetings anymore
Somewhere in the Marvel Universe, a very confused archivist ended up being interrogated by the CIA for several hours because of course she worked with HYDRA. All the archivists were working with HYDRA.
REPORT: operative has confessed to a “full knowledge” and “high level of expertise” regarding hydra operations. was apparently recruited by hydra at a clandestine gathering under the guise of a digital humanities conference. subject showed zero remorse and even offered to show both interviewing agents “how to get started” working under hydra’s basic command structures. subject displays a high degree of infiltration capability; civilian dress at intake included a cardigan and a handmade wooden pin of a siamese cat. the latter was acquired via “etsy" (coded equipment drop site?) when questioned regarding the deployment of the asset, subject indicated close control over multiple assets “catalogued” within diverse fields (geographic coordinates?). subject indicated over 9,000 individual records for assets. we were not prepared for this. 9,000 assets. 9,000??? Jesus Christ i quit do you hear me shield
Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it”
Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect.
To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.
On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.
I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…
Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.
The lengths we go for music.
Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.
One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”
And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:
[stifled giggling]
[reeeeeeally deep breath]
[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]
The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.
In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”
FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.
This is the best band post
Everyone else go home
Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this
which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,
that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that
Who does that?
This guy. Take a good look – that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.
Julius IdontgivaFucik
More like Julius Fuckit
Pyrozod’s tags for this were too hilarious not to share
I haven’t been in band for years but this made me laugh so hard
I haven’t seen this post in ages and I’m dying of laughter
Oh, Hanukkah Our minor holiday Eight nights and days …of hot wax on our hands! We’ll be fressing on some sufganyot Or latkes nice and hot With sour cream Or applesauce we gain a pound or three Dreidels will spin We’ll get new socks On Hanukkah we’ll have no Christmas trees Oh Hanukkah we have no Christmas trees!
because he wrote one good batman comic
30 years ago and then everyone rode his dick (or as he calls
it “the beef needle” presumably for size and tecture)
but everything he’s written since is so awful I’d be angry at myself for even
dreaming them, his work is so juvenilely grim dark if he wasn’t so
devistatingly old and awful looking I’d assume he was a 13 year old trying to
get back at there parents for not letting him change his name from Kyle
to “Darkness Knife”, holy terror is still one of the most offensive
thing’s ever read and knowing how hard he tried to get it made is disgusting,
like DC said no to it multiple times and they ok’d a phone in poll about
whether or not they should kill a 15 year old, honestly the fact that it has
even a 1.9 on good reads is baffiling to me but then again I guess there isn’t
a “when I carry this comic with me on the street birds attack me” button,
please go illegially download it and see what a dumpster fire of a comic it is,
it is the physical emobdiment of waking up hungover to find you’ve thrown up in
your own lap, his art used to be servicable, not good but like first year art
student, though overly lined and dark and of course all his drawings of women
are super gross but lately it’s like something they used to leave children in
forests for drawing, if I drew anything even half as terrible as his wonder
woman I’d have to kill my hands before they killed me because we’re obviously fighting, all this is without getting into how offensive his comics are, what
with the xenophobia and racism and making wonder woman a straw man feminist who just needs some dick, and even when his comics aren’t being offensive they’re still
bad, all-star batman is a joke he doesn’t get, sin city is even more unreadable
then the movie is unwatchable (which don’t tell anyone I said that because I’m
pretty sure those combination of words is illegal), 300 only found popularity because
of the movie’s cinematography, Dark Knight strikes again is so boring and
forgettable I can’t even make fun of it, his Elekctra and X are just classic garbage™, he also has a ton of like 2-1 issues on a ton of different series because I assume as soon as he turns in his work the editor has to fire him because the pages wont stop turning into snakes, like I could go on and on but everyone
already has, honestly everything he’s written since returns has been almost universully panned and yet he still gets work and I have to hear about what a genius he is from every guy at a comic shop with a killing joke tattoo, the only good thing about him is he often insists on doing the “art” for is own comics which insites such a base primal fear in you you already know to stay away, also he drew this fucking
hilarious Hulk cover
Kimchi and Justice 