muchanimal-veryfeminism-wow:

pardonmewhileipanic:

iridessence:

I read all of these aloud in an obnoxious, old timey voice.

same

i can’t breathe rn oh go d

Best meme I’ve ever seen.

valinwhore:

maybe if he put a “please” on that…

Seriously, tho: when Noldorin women go “….that guy’s kinda creepy, and something BAD is going to come out of any situation with him in it”, they are always right.

did you know how hilarious the patch notes to the sims are

flatluigi:

A faint line is no longer visible on the heads of babies.

Fish are no longer duplicated in the fridge when moving homes.

Sims can no longer “Try for Baby” with the Grim Reaper.

Sims who are on fire will no longer be forced to attend graduation before they can put themselves out.

Children and Teens can no longer die from motive failure while on a Time Out.

Pianists will no longer continue playing pianos that have been detonated.

Sims will no longer receive a wish to “Skinny Dip” with Mummies.

Pregnant Sims can no longer “Brawl.”

Sims can no longer WooHoo in the Elevator with a Sim who is on a different floor.

Fixed an issue that caused Sims to leave their Toddler inside a bar at closing time.

The Grim Reaper will no longer be prevented from reaping souls due to band affiliation.

Kleptomaniac Sims can no longer steal Subway stations from lots.

Fixed a tuning issue so that Sims now vomit at acceptable levels.

The magical laundry bear Abracadabra will no longer block Sims from moving after disappearing

Tourist NPCs can now be impregnated.

odins-one-eyed-fuck:

just-shower-thoughts:

There is no biblical evidence that Jesus even knew how to parallel park. Letting him take the wheel seems a bit irresponsible.

greenteaoctopus:

bitternsweetprince:

i saw a blue jay hopping around with a business card today

very serious mr bird lawyer

Very Serious Bird Lawyer who learned Bird Law from Bird School, which is for birds.

thefutureisbroken:

nobodyontheice:

30king:

captaintoedrag:

fun game: refer to America as “South Canada” and watch as Americans lose their shit

Probably cause it’s United States of America? And not south canada? That doesn’t even sound right

Look it’s working

Please quit fighting Middle Mexico and Northern Mexico. Main Mexico still loves you.

kasaihasuki:

ryancrobert:

when you try and set your gay friends up with each other

If you don’t have your own gay friends, store bought is fine

luxwing:

pecancat:

communismkills:

“My pronoun of choice is ‘they.’”

… But you’re one person.

Lmao at the person who doesn’t know that nb people are just a swarm of bees in disguise

RELEASE THE NONBEENARIES

last-snowfall:

Everyone leaves out the best part, which is her looking up afterwards and going “just kidding about the God thing.”