memeufacturing:

maybe im just reading into this but i think wikipedia is trying to tell me to have sex with the pope

heavenly-demon:

Me right now.

thegreatestdragon:

is it wrong that every time I see a quote credited to Cassandra Clare I quietly whisper “are you sure?”

Flower shop AU

nixhil:

koscheiis:

shenko:

demisexualmerrill:

Person A owns a flower shop and person B comes storming in one day, slaps 20 bucks on the counter and says “How do I passive-aggressively say fuck you in flower?”

Omfg

MY TIME HAS COME

so you’d need a bouquet of geraniums (stupidity), foxglove (insincerity), meadowsweet (uselessness), yellow carnations (you have disappointed me), and orange lilies (hatred). it would be quite striking! and full of loathing.

im no Florist but I thought I’d try my hand at such a beautiful gift of absolute loathing

persephones-flowers:

why are sloths the only animal named after a sin why aren’t chihuahuas called wraths

transgirlhanasong:

ok i need everyone to see this fucking dildo

but im putting it under the cut bc i dont want to bother people

but holy shit trust me

Keep reading

Can you lick the science? An abbreviated list.

complaintificate:

tinysquidrachel:

swordwall:

small-home-repair-vikings:

spooky-son-of-rome:

carpebutts:

whisperwhisk:

seananmcguire:

snowysauropteryx:

Genetics: Do not. Unless cheek swabs?

Chemistry: NO!!!!! DO NOT!!!!!!

Archaeology: Perhaps. But might be human bone.

Geology: Sometimes needed, sometimes dangerous

Psychology: Best not.

Physics: ????????? How??????

Zoology: In zoology, science licks you.

Anthropology: Maybe ask first.

Herpetology: bad plan bad plan BAD PLAN

Sociology: Yes, if you have time and dedication and a willingness to piss a lot of people off.

Botany: You might hallucinate or die, OR it might be delicious

Computer Science: the tingle of electricity on your tongue is how you know it’s working

Epidemiology: FOR THE SAKE OF THE WORLD PLEASE DO NOT

Linguistics: Despite the name, please probably don’t.

Engineering: Maybe, but it’ll probably taste like spreadsheets

Software engineering: nothing else has made the code work so you might as well try it

Neuroscience: that is someone’s brain. no. do not

Marine biology: you can try, but you’ll probably just get a mouthful of seawater

Library science: Sir, we already talked to you about this

The Tingled Puppies

unseenphil:

So uh…guess who didn’t register the most obvious domain name, so Chuck Tingle helpfully stepped up and did so for them, with a series of helpful links on the side along with the picture of a dude with no shirt?

The Tingled Puppies

oldabhorsen:

farmsuggestion:

old macdonald had ENOUGH

ee-ay-ee-ay NO