2000 years later: “The strange glyphs appearing on gravestones from the early 21st century onward remain a mystery. These astoundingly complex patterns (no two exactly the same) have been found on many other 21st century artifacts, and are believed to have religious significance. Recovered images suggest they were probably sacred to the ancient North American god, Apple, and were meant to ensure that the departed would continue to be financially successful in the afterlife.”
As an archaeologist I can confirm that that is pretty much exactly what will happen in the future.
All images are captioned at the bottom with “Respect the Stim”.
first picture shows an indeterminately-gendered person wearing a head wrap and a grey NASA t-shirt under an open blue button-down with brown pants and sneakers, clutching a toy lizard and smiling.
Second picture shows five images of a female-bodied person, wearing an orange tank-top, blue shorts, a crocheted sleeveless brown overshirt, and yellow flats, as she spins in a circle and waves her hands at head-height. In the first image she is making a dubious face, but by the fifth image she is smiling.
Third picture shows a female-bodied person with wild red hair flying up and covering her eyes, wearing a red long-sleeve shirt under a black tank top with black jeans and sneakers. She is dancing with one hip thrust out and her hands raised, smiling.
I believe the average is 6 inches? The longest is 14, an he suffers dizziness when he gets a boner, and even though he’s heterosexual, he can only have sex with men (or anally with women) as his cock can’t fit in a vagina.
So writers, take note.
jesus h. christ
I once had a boyfriend who was quite well-endowed, and that was some painful, annoying shit right there (especially with a selfish dude who didn’t really think about that/blamed me for being “tiny,” what the fuck). The average vagina is 3-4 inches deep, though some women may have a depth of 6-7 inches.
Of course, a lady’s Sarlaac Pit is designed to accomodate rather large things. That does not, however, mean that it is comfortable or fun to have those large things in your hermetically-sealed shame basket, not to mention have it ramming repeatedly against your cervix. Ow fucking ow.
Contrary to popular belief, bigger is NOT ALWAYS BETTER.
A rectum can be between 5-7 inches deep. A pliable dildo could push past that, taking that sharp curve into the large intestine, if you’re patient and flexible and you have a lot of lube at your disposal. And you don’t mind things being in your INTESTINES, oh my God. A hard dick, however, that isn’t so bendy, would be another story entirely.
So if you’re shooting for realistic sex and your bottom isn’t into pain, you may want to reconsider giving your top anything over 7-8 inches of dick. 10+ inches might sound awesome but like Communism, for most people at least, it’s better in theory than it is in practice.
This very NSFW and TMI-imbued post brought to you by all the fucks I do not give.
Oh and if anyone accuses me of kink shaming I will find you and I will skin you.
ive learned a lot today omg
i think the last of my innocence just got killed reading this
I went to a con a couple years ago where a guy who had recently had a stroke was a panelist. He had a “Buffering” sign that he held up whenever he needed more time to find words.
TODAY I WAS RUNNING AND THIS MINIVAN DROVE PAST ME AND SOME LIKE 14 YEAR OLD BOY YELLED OUT THE WINDOW SOMETHING LIKE “RUN FAT ASS” AND HIS MOTHER TURNED THE CAR AROUND AND MADE HIM RUN LIKE 5 BLOCKS WITH ME WHILE SHE DROVE NEXT TO US I ALMOST SLIPPED FROM LAUGHING SO HARD
And that’s the kind of education idiotic people need. Seriously.
Kimchi and Justice 