For all that everybody complains about MCU!Barton owning a farm and not bearing much resemblance to comic!Barton, I think people are missing the many glorious possibilities that arise from the phrase “aw tractor, no”.
They’re sitting on the cool tile floor of a fourteenth story apartment in Panama City, backs to the white-painted wall while the television, far across the empty expanse of living room, is playing reruns of General Hospital in Spanish. Barton and Romanoff have been here for three weeks, slowly melting in the muggy heat, and while the food is excellent, now that Noriega’s deposed the city’s just gotten boring.
Yeah well it doesn’t belong on cute gifset abouts the Barton Family.
They are agents, though. Lila and Cooper. Nick had to invent a whole new classification level for people who are not allowed any dangerous information but also do not have any information available to anyone in the system but also seem to have an awful lot of access to secret places on secret bases.
Their badges don’t have photographs- kids grow too fast for those to be useful anyway- but rather crayon self-portraits they made that Laura scanned in and sent to Nick to use for this very purpose.
Clint’s got two SHIELD ID badges, one with a photo and one with a picture his kids drew of him. The one from his kids actually has higher clearance.
OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME NOW I WANT ALL THE FIC ABOUT BARTON FAMILY: SUPERSPIES.
They’re direct reports to Nick Fury, who’s given them a lot of REALLY IMPORTANT MISSIONS. Like figuring out what restaurant in Manhattan has the best hot chocolate. Or discovering what their dad got Uncle Nick for Christmas. It’s a lot of responsibility but Lila and Cooper are up to the task.
(Nat’s not yet, but give him time. Uncle Nick says he can’t go on missions until he can support his own head, which seems fair.)
(”I’m not even a direct report to Fury,” Clint complains. “I’m an Avenger and my six-year-old has more access to the head of SHIELD than I do.” “I know, honey,” Laura says, but he can tell she’s just humoring him. Clint sulks and gives Lucky extra headscritches because at least the dog acts like he’s his favorite.)
My desire to fight anyone who erases Laura Barton and the Barton Babies for their ship (or well any reason but especially ships) is so strong.
Clint was with his family in Cap 2 and afterwards Nick Fury recuperated there because he’s very close with the family like in Ults where the family comes from (SLJ says so in an interview too)
The kids bought Auntie Nat the arrow necklace with Laura’s help as a Christmas gift one year for luck since she’s their daddy’s partner and best friend.
Lila was born early while they were in Budapest and that’s why Clint can’t remember it correctly because he was so worried about Lila and Laura.
Laura was Nat’s first real female friend because Clint took her home with him right after her probationary period and introduced her to Laura and the then tiny baby Cooper. The fact that he trusted her around his wife and child is what finally convinced her that Clint was the real deal and liked her for her. Laura was so kind to her and had no motives as a civilian and just liked her and wanted to be her friend w/o strings and that’s how Nat learned to do friendship.
Laura and Nat try to have ladies nights once a month (kids & spying willing) where they either stay in and drink wine and watch bad movies or go out dancing or to a spa in the city.
okay, what about clint barton getting assigned to an op with a new partner
and they have to go undercover as a married couple
clint doesn’t want to. in fact, he has the exact opposite of wanting to. he hates playing domestic
except, this time it’s easy. they mesh well. they work well together. and when it turns out that helen is using the pta bake sale to spread mind-control nanobots to the other wealthy parents into drones, it’s almost seamless to take her out and save the day
so they go home, and that night he finds himself calling his partner again
“hey,” he says when she picks up. “wanna stay married?”
“sure,” laura says. “come on over.”
When Coulson calls Clint up with a new assignment three weeks later, they’re at brunch.
“Where are you?” Coulson asks. “It sounds like a duck pond.”
“I’m at brunch with my wife,” Clint answered, making faces at Laura across the table. She kicks him in the foot.
“Wife? What wife?”
“The one you assigned me,” Clint answers. “Oh, by the way, thanks, Phil. You should start a dating service.”
Eventually, Laura suggests, after several more months of confused phone calls from people who hang up with the mistaken notion that they must be at brunch for a mission that
hey, maybe they should actually get a piece of paper that says they’re
married and not just confuse people all the time.
At first Clint is baffled by this.
They get to go on dates and no one ever interrupts them with stupid paperwork questions while they’re out.
“But if they think we’re on a long-term undercover gig, we’re not going to get other projects,” Laura points out. Also, they could have really good cake at their wedding. A fake marriage doesn’t have wedding cake.
Clint agrees on the condition that the cake is purple.
Kimchi and Justice 