Tag: Clint needs a tag

guyofhawks:

I would imagine that Clint is on a first name basis with a lot of New York’s emergency responders. 

Hurt and in the back of an ambulance?
The driver is like “Clint Barton is that you again?“ 
“Yeah, it’s me, you know I like helping people every way I can. Like letting you earn your paycheck, Barry.“ 

Need police assistance?
“Hey, Doris, yeah it’s Clint, I need some help. Oh yeah, Lucky is fine. How’s the husband? Oh that cheating bastard.“ 

Caught dangling from a telephone wire because the jump to the other roof was farther than expected?
“Honestly, Karl, I don’t do this on purpose. No, it isn’t an excuse to get to climb down the engine ladder or play in the fire truck.”

Mistaken for a burglar for trying to help some little old lady and sitting in the back of police cruiser?
“You aren’t going to tell Doris about this are you Meredith?”

clint barton, on a date: how do u feel about Kate Bishop
them: girl hawkeye? nah she’s not as good as the original hawkeye
clint barton, shoving breadsticks into his purse: sorry but i have to go home right now immediately

rainbowrites:

mzminola:

rainbowrites:

honestly, the biggest problem I have with Clint and his secret farm family isn’t because of my Clintasha shipper heart or whatever

it’s because it means that MCU Clint actually, canonically, has his shit together and is not a human disaster. He’s got a family and a farm and he manages to keep both of these secret and safe. He has, by far, the most kept together life of any of the Avengers and probably shakes his head and sighs deeply while commiserating with Laura over how he worries about his teammates sometimes

and just…

HUMAN DISASTER CLINT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME OKAY

WHERE HAS MY DUMPSTER TRASH BABY GONE?!?

It does make me super fucking curious as to what the hell happened in Clint’s life that he managed to swerve right around Human Disaster Who Drinks Coffee Out Of The Carafe Because Cups Are For People With Their Lives Together and head straight to Happy Family Man Who Does Way Too Many DIY Projects and Colors With His Kids

Thought 1: This is pretty much a good example of the movies being different from a lot of the comics, and the comics themselves having multiple universes.

Thought 2: We got a very, very small glimpse of their life. In the other movies he’d been in before, we got tiny glimpses of Clint. The secret farm means that Laura (mostly) has her life together, and happens to be willing to stick with a husband in a high risk job. Clint, for all we’ve seen, might still be a complete human disaster.

Laura is running that farm. Laura is getting those kids fed and clothed and educated. Clint is home often enough that Natasha is “Aunty Nat!” to the kids and also clearly Laura’s friend.

Clint has home repair projects lined up. He colors with his kids. My dad taught me to ride a bike. He took us sailing. He’s not a complete human disaster, but I don’t think I’d describe him as having his shit together when I was little.

What we got here is Clint “Cram As Much Family Time In Before The Next Assignment Possible” Barton.

oh man this is why I can never post a comment and then go offline for a couple days because I ALMOST MISSED THIS BEAUTIFUL REPLY AND THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A TRAGEDY

You are absolutely right, Clint could definitely be a complete human disaster who happens to have fallen heart (and then genitals) first into a relationship with a woman who finds his fail!self ADORABLE

And wow, I do totally bet that all this home-repair came about when Laura was pregnant the first time and Clint was frantically like ‘WHAT DO DAD’S DO. LAURA WHAT DO DADS WHO HAVE THEIR LIFE TOGETHER DO’

‘Clint calm the fuck down’

‘HELLO CALM THE FUCK DOWN I’M DAD. WAIT I FUCKED THAT UP. I CAN’T EVEN DADJOKE RIGHT LAURA I AM A FAILURE’

‘Clint go hyperventilate in the attic I’m planning our crops for next year’

‘THE ATTIC IS A DEATHTRAP LAURA. I KNOW BECAUSE I DESIGNED IT TO DEATHTRAP ANYONE WHO MIGHT FIND US’

‘Maybe go un-deathrap it then honey’

‘YES. OH MAN.  I WILL MAKE IT A COOL PLAY-ATTIC FOR THE KIDS. THAT’S WHAT COOL DADS DO RIGHT??? THEY MAKE PLAY-ATTICS??? THEY WILL PLAY IN THE ATTIC AND THINK I’M A COOL DAD’

‘ya-huh, have fun honey’

And now Clint has latched onto the idea of ‘home repair = COOL DAD’ with all the single-minded vigor of a toddler on a sugar rush

By which I mean that Clint is still a bit of a human disaster but one who has more to try to pretend to have his life together for than 616!Clint. Thank you for helping me wrap my head around this

also wow I never really thought about how much fandom loves our human disasters until just now. Excellent point.

mzminola:

Fuck though, I mean…give me all the stories about growing up in the Middle Of Nowhere and your dad’s a Superhero. And you remember, right, when you were so small, you only just barely remember, when he was a Secret Agent. Or maybe you don’t, maybe you never knew, he just Does Something For The Government, but you can’t tell any of the other kids, say he’s in the Air Force, say he’s a Merchant Mariner who comes home sun and wind burnt, pockets full of strange things. Say he consults with the circus, that’s how and your mom met, when she still threw axes for a living.

Nights you stay up waiting, and he doesn’t come home. Mom said he won’t be back until next week, but you thought, maybe…this once. The mornings you get up and he’s HERE when did he GET here Dad Dad Dad! The afternoons where his phone starts to buzz, and you realize you’re going to be finishing your Science Fair project on your own.

I want the story of too many emotions, of joy that you can’t hold, of hero worship, of sick resentment burning in your lungs and your gut that he’s not here, he’s never HERE, of pride swelling like the sea when your dad saves the whole. fucking. world.

Give me the Barton kids growing up and figuring out that being an adult is just constantly Faking It, and god, Dad never really had his shit together, did he?

mzminola:

rainbowrites:

honestly, the biggest problem I have with Clint and his secret farm family isn’t because of my Clintasha shipper heart or whatever

it’s because it means that MCU Clint actually, canonically, has his shit together and is not a human disaster. He’s got a family and a farm and he manages to keep both of these secret and safe. He has, by far, the most kept together life of any of the Avengers and probably shakes his head and sighs deeply while commiserating with Laura over how he worries about his teammates sometimes

and just…

HUMAN DISASTER CLINT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME OKAY

WHERE HAS MY DUMPSTER TRASH BABY GONE?!?

It does make me super fucking curious as to what the hell happened in Clint’s life that he managed to swerve right around Human Disaster Who Drinks Coffee Out Of The Carafe Because Cups Are For People With Their Lives Together and head straight to Happy Family Man Who Does Way Too Many DIY Projects and Colors With His Kids

Thought 1: This is pretty much a good example of the movies being different from a lot of the comics, and the comics themselves having multiple universes.

Thought 2: We got a very, very small glimpse of their life. In the other movies he’d been in before, we got tiny glimpses of Clint. The secret farm means that Laura (mostly) has her life together, and happens to be willing to stick with a husband in a high risk job. Clint, for all we’ve seen, might still be a complete human disaster.

Laura is running that farm. Laura is getting those kids fed and clothed and educated. Clint is home often enough that Natasha is “Aunty Nat!” to the kids and also clearly Laura’s friend.

Clint has home repair projects lined up. He colors with his kids. My dad taught me to ride a bike. He took us sailing. He’s not a complete human disaster, but I don’t think I’d describe him as having his shit together when I was little.

What we got here is Clint “Cram As Much Family Time In Before The Next Assignment Possible” Barton.