Dear people learning German

allthingslinguistic:

ladydrace:

howlnatural:

britishpineapple:

bananoots:

kainoliero:

tuonenjoutsenen:

miss-cath:

animentality:

freezingdesert:

please be aware that the correct way to replace ä, ö, ü, ß is turning them into ae, oe, ue, and ss, not just taking the dots away or typing “B”.

Otherwise you can get things like,

“Das Wetter ist sehr schwül heute.”
= “The weather is very hot and humid today.”

“Das Wetter ist sehr schwul heute.”
= “The weather is very gay today.”

well I now know how to call the weather gay

So, it’s like in Polish. 

“Zrobić łaskę” means “Do mercy to someone”

but

“Zrobić laskę” means “Make a blowjob”.

I cannot think of a case where removing the dots of ä and ö in Finnish would result in something naughty (if you can, please contribute) but the same thing applies, ä and ö are completely different from a and o, and one does not simply remove the dots.

Finnish:

Näin appelsiineja = I saw oranges.

Nain appelsiineja = I fucked oranges.

its even worse in turkish doe cus like

Sık dişini?? Hang in there/Endure

Sik dişini?? Literally just fuck your tooth

that’s it

amazing

Even in Spanish:

Feliz año nuevo = happy new year

Feliz ano nuevo = happy new butthole

Irish: 

Tá mo chroí briste = My heart is broken.

Tá mo chroí bríste = My heart is trousers.

Danish:

Bølle = thug

Bolle = fucking

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a language that uses diacritics must have a minimal pair with and without diacritics that means something rude.