latining:

thesallowbeldam:

maxiesatanofficial:

maxiesatanofficial:

Thesis: The less explicit the connection between a “Christmas song” and the mythological birth of Jesus, the more likely it is that the song is good.

Tier one is “actually about the nativity or some shit,” tier two is “Santa Claus is in it,” tier three is “about the actual day to day quasi-secular decorations and traditions,” tier four is “general winter merriment,” and fifth is “no lyrics or nobody pays any attention to the lyrics so whatever.”

Data point one: Carol of the Bells (lyrics commonly omitted or ignored; only a loose connection to Christmas even when included).

Data point two: Little Drummer Boy (HEINOUS).

Counterpoint: We Three Kings, when sung right, fucking rocks.

“Myrrh is mine, it’s bitter perfume,

breathes a life of gather gloom.”

Thesis: the religious ones have to fucking MATTER. O Come All Ye Faithful, Silent Night, Carol of the Bells—they’re all meant to evoke a sense of awe, power, and wonder in the audience.

Christmas carols only start to suck once faith gets commercialised, like everything else in western history.