kontextmaschine:

kropotkitten:

class-struggle-anarchism:

figgy pudding as a transitional demand

the cool thing about that song is it is a relic from when Christmas was bad ass before Washington Irving made it into the family-friendly holiday it is today. Before Irving created Christmas of today from nothing it was a drunken feast when rioting was common. Basically people would go out into the streets, get drunk, and throw snowballs at each other and shop windows. Sometimes the police would break it up but this would just make the celebrants escalate into riot. 

In 1828, a particularly violent Christmas riot in New York led the city to institute its first professional police force.

Christmas celebrations in 1800 owed more to the midwinter worship of Saturn and Bacchus than to Christ. By the second century, the Romans were regularly feasting, drinking, and cavorting like satyrs from December 17, the first day of Saturnalia, to January First. They also decorated their houses with evergreen boughs.

In the fourth century, Christians began to celebrate Christ’s birth on December 25, the winter solstice on the Roman calendar. This was a partly way to meet the challenge of pagan cults. The church tacitly agreed to let the holiday be celebrated more or less as it always was. The Christmas celebration that arose in Medieval Europe was an occasion for excess and extravagance, public lewdness, and violations of social order. In medieval and early modern Europe, celebrants often elected a “Lord of Misrule” to preside over these annual revels. In one episode in 1637 in England, the crowd gave the Lord of Misrule a wife in a public marriage service conducted by a fellow reveler posing as a minister. The affair was consummated on the spot! No wonder, New England Puritans sought to criminalize this rowdy affair.

Puritans were particularly upset by two irksome Christmas practices: One was mumming, the exchange of clothes between men and women; and even worst was the outbreak of rioting, drunkenness, and fornication. It was this raucous celebration that the New England Puritans tried to kill.

But despite the Puritans’ best efforts, Christmas in America became an excuse for dangerous hell raising. At Christmastime, men drank rum, fired muskets wildly, and costumed themselves in animal pelts or women’s clothes – crossing species and gender. In New York, Philadelphia, Baltimore, and other cities, they formed Callithumpian parades, which involved beating on the kettles, blowing on penny trumpets and tin horns, and setting off firecrackers.

Then, during the early 1800s, Christmas became a cultural battleground. During the early 1800s, evangelical Protestants challenged the popular Christmas. They called for a shorter, more refined, more family-centered celebration at the end of the year, one that would banish “what is sensual and low, and very close to vice itself in the existing Saturnalia.”

So in reality, the “war on christmas” was actually waged by Puritans and later by protestants who thought it was too wild and needed to be tamed and so invented whole sale bullshit to replace the drunken, sex-filled, riotous feast it once was.

Make Christmas Libidinal Again

The general tendency of folk holidays in the absence of external pressure is to develop towards “drunken anarchy festival” and I think that’s beautiful

2016 End of Year Challenge

into-the-weeds:

lookninjas:

mshoneysucklepink:

jaded-idealism:

ipwarn:

meandi-123:

sprinklejoy:

theredandwhitequeen:

catyuy:

List at least 1 positive thing that happened in 2016. Something that happened to you or in general. Feel free to even list more than 1 thing.

Lets end this year with some positive thoughts.

I’ll start us off:

  • I got to go back to being an In Store Shopper and a part time employee instead of a Contractor.

Our house remodel began and I’m getting a new bedroom in 2017.

I finally finished my Associate’s Degree from my local community college. My family and I went on a vacation together Hawaii. It was our first family vacation since I was a teenager.

I got to spend 7 weeks travelling across the US and Canada where I got to see some of my favourite people sing live (some for the first time)

My niece was born and I got to travel around Italy with my whole family. 

I got my new apartment and the landlord is letting me keep my cat.

I had an article published in an academic journal, I visited my sister in Florida, and I went to New York again.

I got above the poverty line!  And I have a car that was not only made in this century, but in this decade.  And the power steering works on it.  Fuck yeah.

Something I had been working on for four years finally happened.

my daughter was born.  She has two teeth now and she just started crawling.

Linguistics Christmas Jokes

allthingslinguistic:

allthingslinguistic:

How does a linguist wish someone a joyful Dec 25th?
Merry/Mary/marry Christmas!

What are Father Christmas’s linguist sisters and daughters called?
Relative Clauses 

What does a linguist say when Santa just won’t leave you alone?
He’s lost the stalking/stocking distinction

What is a distinctive feature of the Christmas phonology of non-native English speakers?
No-dark-el 

What presents did the three wise linguists bring?
Goal, epenthesis, and merge

What do linguists do under mistletoe?
Make quadrilabial clicks 

What is a minty treat that linguists consume around Christmastime?
Chomsky canes 

Which carrot-nosed entity came to life in a particularly strident fashion?
Fricative the snowman

Who is a grammatical but unattested candidate for pulling a linguist’s sleigh?
Rudolph the colourless-green-nosed reindeer 

What nutmeg-sprinkled beverage does one drink around Linguistmas?
Wugnog 

What do you put on top of an ungrammatical Linguistmas tree?
*


http://echolalaphile.tumblr.com/post/153703873510/audio_player_iframe/echolalaphile/tumblr_mevlnyTicf1qeerrg?audio_file=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tumblr.com%2Faudio_file%2Fecholalaphile%2F153703873510%2Ftumblr_mevlnyTicf1qeerrg

icarusinstatic:

constantlycomic:

createdd:

the-narddog:

I will never understand why this Christmas song goes so hard.

OKAY MOTHERFUCKERS LISTEN UP

BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS NOT CAROL OF THE BELLS

IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE/SARAJEVO 12/24 AND IT IS SO MUCH FUCKING MORE THAN CAROL OF THE BELLS.

so during the bosnian war (which was this nasty-ass conflict in bosnia and herzgovina) there was this badass cello-playing motherfucker named vedran smailovic. He was from Sarajevo, was upset about all the shit and nastiness that came about through this war (this was full-on brother-killing-brother shit!) that he went around to bombed-out, blown up buildings and funderals––where he was at risk of FUCKING SNIPER FIRE––and playing the cello. This guy was so set on providing one tiny spot of beauty in a seriously nasty war he was risking being fucking SHOT OR BLOWN UP.

AND THIS IS THE GUY WHO INSPIRED THIS SONG.

He’s why there’s the calm cello part at the beginning before everything gets all violent-sounding. It’s THEMATIC.

THAT’S WHY THIS CHRISTMAS SONG GOES SO FUCKING HARD.

How to make super easy super delicious hot chocolate

I made chocolate-orange hot chocolate tonight and it was SO GOOD.  And it has TWO INGREDIENTS (or three, depending on how thick you like your chocolate) and not very many steps. YAY!

INGREDIENTS:

*chocolate orange, or other tasty eating chocolate.  

*heavy cream

*milk (optional)

EQUIPMENT:

*small saucepan

*stirring implement of some kind (i prefer a wire whisk)

*mug

INSTRUCTIONS:

1) Acquire chocolate orange.  If you do not have/do not like chocolate oranges, other eating chocolate will do, although the higher quality the better.  When not using chocolate oranges i usually use those little Dove Promises guys.  

2) Acquire small saucepan.  Larger saucepans (and more chocolate) are helpful if you’re making chocolate for more than one person.

3) spread the chocolate across the bottom of the pan. 

This is about a quarter of a chocolate orange  Please ignore how dirty my stove is.  Note that I didn’t spread it all that carefully, figuring that the chocolate would melt pretty quickly (it did).  

4) Turn the burner on AS LOW AS POSSIBLE.  Chocolate burns easily, but it ought to behave itself if you turn the stove on as low as you can get it and pay attention to the pot.

here you see the mostly-melted chocolate.  I whisked it a little to encourage the last bits to melt.

5) Once the chocolate is mostly melted, dribble in some cream.

Notice that the chocolate clumped up a bit and didn’t want to mix in (especially near the edges).  Fear not!  This is just a thing chocolate does sometimes.  Keep stirring and it will incorporate.

Keep stirring….

THERE we go.

6) Keep adding cream by dribbles and mixing it in until the chocolate doesn’t do the clumpy thing anymore. This will probably take four or five sets of dribbles-and-stirring.

7) Taste the chocolate.  You might, as i did, decide that you added an insufficient amount of chocolate – go ahead and put in some more if you want.

(yes, i put in most of the rest of the orange.  shush.)  Stir until it has melted all the way in.

8) add a little more cream if you want, depending on how thick you like your drinking chocolate.  If you like it thick enough to stand a spoon in, you’re probably done.  Otherwise, add a bit more cream.

9) If this concoction is just too rich for you (and it is pretty damn rich) or if you want to stretch it without using up your ENTIRE stash of heavy cream (which is expensive), now is the time to add some milk.  Just pour it in and stir.

10) Continue to heat on ULTRA MEGA LOW until you have reached the desired temperature.  (because chocolate has such a low melting point, it will probably happen that the top of the chocolate is just lukewarm even though the chocolate has all melted in.)  Keep an eye on it though, so it doesn’t burn or develop a skin from getting too hot. 

11) Pour into a mug.  If you want, deglaze the pan with more milk (pour milk in to cover up all the chocolate sticking to the sides and bottom of the pan, heat GENTLY and stir to get the chocolate off the pot and into the milk) to get a much-more-diluted-but-still-tasty drink.  Why waste chocolate, right?

AND THAT’S IT!  Enjoy your delicious treat.