*dies* – Kimchi and Justice

mathemagicalschema:

bleemoo:

My name is Georg
adn wen you cownt
or tally up
the hole amownt
of spyders ayt
by men, do not
cownt those i eet –
i eet a lot.

“average cow liks 3 bred a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average cow liks 0 bred per year. Bredlik Cow, who lives in an authentic 18th century French bakery & liks over 10,000 bred each night, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.

markargent:

rosewednesday:

kawatooru:

kawatooru:

where do lesbian viking warriors go when they die in a mighty battle?

galpalla

I tried to scroll away. I really did.

what’s better than this, valkyries being palkyries

juubineion:

CAESAR: The thought, dear Antony that our countrymen
Hath misconstrued but three things through the year
Is an assessment most untrue for that
Cassius Georg, who hath a lean and hungry
look about him, and who hath misconstrued
everything, is immeasurably off
from our fellow countrymen and that it
was not meet that he be counted among them.

venort:

lilhalexe:

“No, sir. I do not vague blog at you, sir, but I vague blog, sir.”

“Do you throw shade, sir?“
“Throw shade, sir? Nooooooooooooooooo, sir.”

‘Is the discourse on my side if I say “aye”?’

isadoro:

inabasket:

maeamian:

meghanwaslike:

rageturtleswaggg:

barbelllift-and-fooditem:

thejurassicjuan:

firelordsarah:

Omfg drinking wine is too feminine for you that you gotta call it “brosé” grow up

i can’t believe this nonsense

Manscato

Penis Grigio

Cabronet

Broquet

Zinfandude

Brosecco

chill-oh:

sometimes-butts:

ibnuprofen:

hotdog-friend:

is that butter

no it’s stonehenge

I can’t believe it’s not butter

I’m so done with this site

markargent:

rosewednesday:

kawatooru:

kawatooru:

where do lesbian viking warriors go when they die in a mighty battle?

galpalla

I tried to scroll away. I really did.

what’s better than this, valkyries being palkyries

hiddlesbatchlove:

lilmissitalia:

If there’s a “heavens no” and a “hell yes” why isn’t there a “purgatory maybe”

PURGHAPS

dggeoff:

ibeggedformercytwice:

ibeggedformercytwice:

My medieval servant boy has gone missing. I’ll just use Google to see if I can find him.

Oh bother.

im deleting this fucking website

feathersmoons:

officialcadbane:

ohsebs:

ohsebs:

ohsebs:

my nurse just came in to check my vitals and I told him to fight me from beneath a mountain pillows. He just moved my pillows and told me maybe later.

he just came in again and when I tried to tell him to fight me again I started coughing and I couldn’t breathe and then then he just smiled and told he won’t fight me because he knows I’d win

Apparently I seduced him with my drool and terrible lungs because he wrote his number on a coffee from the giftshop under “fight me?”

Imagine your OTP

…I don’t have to imagine my current OTP, this is BASICALLY CANON.