naamahdarling:

starryjewels:

bemusedlybespectacled:

stele3:

hellkatsally:

vafertor:

ivyaura:

godshideouscreation:

captionshaming:

spoonmeb:

tittymeat:

adampacmanjones:

thotm0m:

bloodcountessabendroth:

bookmad:

tolazytothinkofaclevername:

barbieprivilege:

84champagnepuppies:

this is making me physically uncomfortable

this is y i generally hate kinksters despite being into all sorts of f*cked up stuff m’self bc they love imposing their gross personal sh*t on strangers

how about you let two people do what they want since it isnt actually effecting you in any way 

treating a woman like a literal dog out in public does impact society. GREATLY. contrary to popular belief, we don’t live in a vacuum where our actions have no fucking consequences.

It’s just fucking rude and shitty to bring your kink play into a non-kink friendly public space because then you indirectly make everyone you come across a non-consensual part of whatever you are doing just by them being witness to it.  It’s fucked up amateur hour bullshit. 

Also lol at the ratty-ass dreads on the white dude. Fucking gross.

I’m physically naseuas

Imagine having to explain this to your child? This is so extra and unnecessary

yessssss i get to use this gif.

I’ve told this story before but whateves. When I worked at the pleasure chest a woman came running in one night, very worried and upset because a man who was cross-dressing was chained to the bike rack outside. She wanted me to call the police, but obviously I wanted to check on the guy first. Sure enough he was all in pink, chained to the bike rack. He told me he was perfectly fine. His Master was inside and he was more than happy to wait. Humiliation was a part of their play.

Now I’m kinky as shit, a sub and all. But this fucked me cause as a woman, cross dressing combined with humiliation leaves me feeling some type of way. And then you have the other customers who are being triggered and are genuinely in fear for this man’s safety.

He and his Master probably had a great night, but how many people who didn’t sign up to be a part of their scene went home feeling all fucked up about it? I know I did and frankly to me this most definitely violates the terms of Safe, Sane, Consensual because you are taking away other people’s ability and right to consent. In other words, you should actually keep your kinks to yourself.

Seriously, keep it in the dungeon/bedroom

Yeah. Wow. This.

the other day i was in the store with my son, who is four, and we turned into an aisle to see a guy choking a woman (presumably his girlfriend). without even thinking i turned my son around and said loudly, “HOLD ON OLIVER LOOK AT THE TORTILLAS AND COUNT HOW MANY THERE ARE” to see if the couple would do anything.

they looked at me and glared, and the girl eventually told her partner to let go of her neck and they left after i continued staring them down.

what would have happened if my son had seen that? seriously, how the fuck am i going to explain why youre choking your girlfriend next to the mac and cheese? he’s four. he doesn’t need to see that shit.

Basic rule: everyone in the scene needs to consent. Is everyone in the pic or above situations consenting??

No they are fucking not

Stop this shit

I had to have this conversation with a BDSM couple who came into my coffee shop once, her on a leash at two o’clock in the afternoon in pretty skimpy, fetish-y clothing.  Basically, what I said was, “I am a huge part of your scene right now.  The look on my face, my words, my thoughts, my feelings, they’re what’s fueling the very scene you’re playing out, so how are you going to tell me that everyone involved is consenting?  You didn’t ask for my consent.  I didn’t fill out a negotiation form.  You don’t know my background, my history, my kinks, or my safeword, but you come into my place of work and expect to play out a scene with me without even asking?”

She was mortified.  He tried to argue with me, but couldn’t continue once I said, “I do not consent to being part of your scene,” without exposing himself for the creepy “faux-BDSM covering for his abusive personality” loser that he was.  And he was.  I hate to be stereotypical, here, but he was wearing a trilby and a trench coat.  In Arizona.  In the summer.

A couple years later, I was at a fetish ball, outside smoking back when I used to smoke cigarettes.  And while it’s not a crucial element to the story, I’m just going to say that the girl I was seeing at the time and I looked fucking awesome in our coordinated rockabilly dominatrix outfits.  Anyway, I was a little drunk and smoking and here comes the exact same loser with a different young girl following half a step behind him and I maybe hollered a little too loudly, “Hey, sweetheart, you played out any scenes with non-consenting women in coffee shops lately, or did I just get lucky that time?”  Because I’m an asshole who can’t keep her mouth shut.

I also once turned an aisle in the grocery store late one night to find a girl blowing her boyfriend next to the canned vegetables and I just said, “No.  Nope.  No.  Put it away.  No!”  They both seemed mortified that time, at least.

But seriously, though, don’t do this shit.  It’s rapey and gross.  Not towards her, she might be into it, but towards me.  Don’t do this shit because it’s rapey towards everyone else you’re making into unwilling participants in your sex games.

ALL OF THIS.

Just to forestall the “BUT WHAT ABOUT DEMONSTRATING MY RELATIONSHIP IN PUBLIC???” argument:

It’s called stealth, and it’s fucking easy.

Stealth collars exist! Here’s someone who makes nothing but stealth/day collars! And here’s another! And another! Are you someone who likes things less sparkly and/or feminine? Personalized dog tags are great! So are plain chains!

Do you normally call your partner “Mistress,” “pet,” “subhuman slimewom” or “Lord Dom of All Creation”? In public, more conventional pet names like “sweetie” or “dear,” said with the right tone of authority or reverence, can work just as well.

Take off anything that could set off a metal detector (and yes that includes cock cages ffs) before traveling on an airplane. Don’t randomly grab someone’s neck or go down on them or lead them around on a leash in public.

This is fucking basic shit. It’s no less kinky to be stealth, and it’s smarter, safer, and fucking more respectful. 

And if you really, really want to be watched while you’re collared or lead around or whatever? Spend the fucking money and go to a fetish event. Otherwise it’s not “demonstrating your relationship,” it’s “weirding out vanillas gets me off.”

And its demonstrating you care little about consent or safe practices. As has been said, if everyone isnt consenting, youre doing it wrong

yeah, this isn’t kink shaming. i have a massive collar/leash kink. just don’t fucking do this in public, because … basically, all the things above. and it’s just … it’s forcing people to look at your foreplay, and that’s just really upsetting and gross and could you PLEASE not do it?

lantoniou did a really great session about stealth kink at Floating World one year.  LITERALLY ANYTHING can be kinky if you put the right intention behind it – and no one has to know except the ones who want to.

(tangentially, all this stuff applies even within an explicitly kinky environment.  Specific forms of address within your relationship – fine.  But your Master does not get to decree what you call ME.)