1. Horror fiction: to be shelved around the outer wall of a spiral staircase leading down into the ground, unlit; the books being ordered roughly according to scariness, so that the more terrifying a book you are looking for, the further down the dark staircase you will have to go. The library has torches but they are a little temperamental. Just hit them on something if they go out, they’ll probably come back on again.
2. Romance fiction: the shelves here are slightly too close together, necessitating an awkward social interaction if you need to get past another browser. There are odd gaps in the books at eye height leading through to the next aisle. Also sometimes everyone is trapped in the section due to a contrived event with the lift, but fortunately there’s somewhere you can wait with tea whilst they fix it.
3. Magic realism: unremarkable shelving in the main, apart from the bottom shelf round the corner by the window. This shelf has King Wenceslaus II of Bohemia on it. He looks a little uncomfortable, but he is gamely playing along so as not to have to confront the rest of the modern world too soon.
4. Mysteries: books are never shelved the same way twice. Lots of nooks and crannies. Occasionally a dictionary drops on your head and you wake ten minutes later to find that the books you thought you were getting out have stolen your clothes and walked out of the library in them. They are checked out in your name. Are they coming back? Who knows.
5. Fantasy: section locked, but sometimes, listening at the door after nightfall, you can hear the sound of distant pipes. There is a chosen one somewhere who can unlock it. Maybe that’s you? If it is you, could you have a look at the plumbing? Because it sounds like the radiator in there really needs bleeding. Thanks.
6. Historical fiction: reserved for those works which were once considered to be fiction but which are now, for better or worse, largely true.
7. Antinovels: contained in a vacuum within the science fiction section. Large explosion likely if brought into contact with novels. Please stay away from the vacuum. The section may be dusty but is that not the philosophical end of all humanity?
8. Western: this section is not big enough for all of the books, and patrons keep on drawing on them.
That was a big problem with the Qin dynasty. So many things were punished by death that not only did officers often find themselves on the run and in minor rebellions, but had many willing recruits because the only other option was execution.
Remember, if it seems like you’ve fucked everything up and have nowhere to go, you can always SEIZE THE MANDATE OF HEAVEN
I want to share with you all one of the tools I have used to learn Japanese since very early on in my pursuit of fluency. It’s one of my favorite applications and I really recommend it to anyone who is learning any language.
(psst! long post coming, but stick around to the end for a shot at the giveaway!)
HelloTalk is a language learning app that allows you to connect with native speakers of your target language.What I really like about HelloTalk is that there are multiple features that not only encourage you to try speaking, but also help to ease you into it without to pressure of a real time face to face conversation (this is a real life saver if you are even marginally as shy as I am!)
On your profile you can write a nice self introduction- Try writing it all in Japanese!- and you can even record up to a 60 second audio introduction! This is great because it’s a good opportunity to practice your pronunciation and to let other people hear your pronunciation so that they can let you know what you’re doing wrong (or right!)
From there you can go to the search page , which will show you all of your new potential language exchange partners or to the moments page, which will show you some other members short personal posts that you can like or comment on to get a conversation going.
If you tap “learn” on the moments page it will display posts that are written in your target language. I love this because it allows you to immerse yourself in the language and to practice thinking in it.
All that there is left to do is to start talking!
Most conversations will start of text based, but there is always the option to send an audio message by clicking on the microphone icon at the bottom right corner. There is also a transliteration button just above the microphone icon. This allows you to check to see that what you’re writing makes sense. After you type a sentence you can check it by hitting the transliteration button.
Once your ready, and after you have received 5 messages from you language partner you will have the option to do a voice call.
This will work like a regular telephone call and will be real time. And on top of that; if you and your language exchange partner are both VIP members you can make a video call and talk face to face!
Seriously!
HelloTalk is such a useful app to have! Having conversations with native Japanese speakers and helping them with their English while they help me with my Japanese has been both fun and challenging, and that’s the best way to learn something new! Keeping regular contact with someone in your target language will definitely help you to retain more!
As an apology for my long time absence, and as a thank you for both new followers and those who have been hanging on with me for a long time (we have more than 2,000 study buddies now! WOW!)
I’ll be working with the nice people at HelloTalk to give away a one year VIP-membership to one lucky follower!
All you have to do to enter is reblog this post!! That’s it! And for the sake of inspiring some of you to practice speaking out loud; if you record a video of yourself giving a short self introduction in Japanese you’ll get a second entry for the giveaway!!
BE SURE TO TAG ME (@nodoyobenkyou) SO I’LL SEE IT! And please make sure to include subtitles in your video so that we can all understand what you’re saying, no matter our level of understanding!
The giveaway will end Friday December 29th, so reblog and record before then! Good luck everyone!
一緒に日本語を勉強するのはつづきましょう!
Morning reblog!
This is a great app and I’ve met tons of amazing people on here. They also have a really low tolerance for harassment, which is always a concern with any of these apps.
Seriously, I’m sharing recipes with Japanese housewives and talking about dinosaurs with a financial analyst it is EXCELLENT
don’t know if this is as ~deep~ as i think it is, but by all of gaston’s own personal standards of identity/values, the beast is a better man than he is: brawnier, bigger, fightier, & of course every last inch of him’s covered in hair
ohmigod, it’s true though! the beast was basically gaston, and the ticked off fairy turned him into the purest manifestation of his toxic ideals to make him learn to be less of an ass
…..now I really wanna see the version of the movie where instead of dying, the curse passes from the beast to gaston!
except gaston doesn’t have a swag ass castle to sulk in, so he’s out running around the countryside, hiding in forests and stuff, alternately terrorizing the populace and being hunted. it’s a turnabout of his “peerless hunter” backstory– he is now both the monster and the prey.
untillllll he, idk, meets some humble woodcutter(?) that takes him in when he’s wounded or offers him shelter in a storm? and etc, etc, LIFE LESSONS, toxic masculinity slowly vanquished. (ooh, or maybe it should be like–a flower seller or herbalist or some feminine-coded profession he would have devalued to really set up a foil.)
also the gaston-beast needs antlers. terrifying claw-hooked sprawling antlers. antlers for all of his decorating.
BRUH
So if the curse is transmittable, is there a way to – rather than breaking the curse with true love- transfer it to some other asshole who happens to be nearby? Because that would kind of explain why the enchantress decided to go knocking on the doors of dickish eleven-year-old princes on stormy nights, and also why she seemed to look hideous until she suddenly transformed and then ‘cursed’ Adam. Maybe the enchantress was also a beast, and maybe there are two ways to ‘get rid’ of the curse. One is to have true love break it, but the other is to just sort of pass it on to someone the curse decides is worse than you are.
And the curse, rather than seeing ‘ah well he’s just a kid’ and not taking, instead went ‘oh he’s a kid – so his dickishness is also the fault of his caretakers’ and then applied itself to the entire damn castle.
Enchantress was probably like ‘…uh, oops? Oh well lol not my problem anymore’ and skipped off, after feeling juuust bad enough to tell Adam about the True Love option. But not the transfer one because what if he comes after her and the curse decides that after a week of beastification, he’s less of an asshole than she is now? Not risking it.
So Beast and Belle hook up and Beast thinks it’s the True Love cure, but in actuality he gets cured after the fight with Gaston because the curse decides ‘welp this guy is DEFINITELY a bigger asshole’ and that’s why the timing is kind of… odd Belle really does love him, though, but maybe the shift back is supposed to be more gradual with a love cure, because true love really does linger more in gradual adjustments and quiet moments than in grand displays. It’s a slower process (the time limit was really just the enchantress trying to make sure that the prince would hurry up and go that route for curing himself, and not waste time trying to track her down – it’s total bullshit, she’s a con artist, that’s what got her into this mess in the first place).
The slow cure is what happens with Gaston, instead of getting a declaration and then a magical girl transformation sequence back into his sporty lumberjack self, he just, bit by bit, starts to look more Gaston-y again. It spreads out from the eyes. His fur starts to get a bit thinner, his claws start to soften, his teeth no longer fill up his mouth like a packet of razors. At first he thinks it’s just because he has a place to stay and access to, like, brushes and warm water and stuff like that. But then he wakes up one morning and his antlers are shedding, and he can definitely see more of his old face than he used to.
His woodsy herbalist ‘friend’ doesn’t really say anything. He’s heard of curses and things, and he doesn’t like to pry – he’s just the sort who sees a need and tries to help with it. In the end, it’s really not Gaston’s looks (in either form) that when him over. It his skill, either, because Gaston can’t really hunt much without risking being seen and having to leave and possibly getting his herbalist in trouble for housing a monster. It’s just his company. Talks by the fire. Quiet mornings spent side by side. Sheer boredom, and a begrudging sense of indebtedness, have Gaston asking about his host’s tasks, and then offering to help with them. He’s insufferable about it at first, of course. But after a while he finds that he likes the scent of herbs, and that gathering is as interesting as hunting, and he even paws carefully through a few of the herbalist’s notebooks.
Being trapped gives him a somewhat better appreciation for books, though he still never loves them.
At night he can venture outside, just so long as the moon isn’t too bright. He takes to sitting on the roof, and looking up at the stars, and remembers… it was his mother who taught him how to read the stars. In case he ever got lost. His father died when he was fairly young, and Gaston had done his best to try and make up the difference. And he had done; he’d been a good hunter, he’d kept the village fed through a lot of cold winters, but he’d never quite been able to escape the sense that he needed to absolutely make certain that he was following the right script. That there was something about him that didn’t… that wasn’t what his father would have wanted. Or his mother, either. He had a long list of things that made a man worthwhile, and maybe that was part of the reason why he had set his eyes on the one woman in the village who refused to give him the time of day.
Because that list included marriage and a house full of children, not quiet nights in a tavern, looking for too long at the woodcutter’s arms.
But even if he had never really wanted Belle, he had been angry enough at not winning her, too. Even if the script never really made him happy, he still wanted to follow it. Wanted to be the kind of man who could. The man who killed every beast and conquered every challenge.
He can’t go back to that life, now. It’s not even an option anymore.
The knowledge is an unexpected – but very visceral – relief.
The next morning, Gaston is about a foot shorter, and the cleft in his chin is back.
It’s more than a year, though, before he looks human enough to ‘arrive’ at the little village near to where his herbalist lives. He introduces himself as a friend of the healer’s family, an old friend who used share correspondence with him, who’s come looking for work. The townsfolk find him to be a quiet man, burly but skilled, and more boisterous if you can get a few drinks into him. Though, he avoids the tavern more often than not. Some folks talk about him and his herbalist, living out in that little house all by themselves; but Gaston’s skills quiet most tongues, and the way his eyes sometimes catch the firelight, and his teeth seem just a little too sharp, manage to quiet others.
Years pass. It is, funnily enough, only when Gaston looks almost entirely himself – though still different from how he used to – that trouble really comes, with the mayor’s son, who decides on a dare to vandalize the herbalist’s door and destroy some of his best plants.
Gason is only meaning to make the boy pay for the damages, when he goes and finds him out in the fields. But he’s barely had time to get impatient with the brat’s sneering – seventeen, god, he had nearly forgotten how insufferable he was at that age, too – when he feels a weight leave him. A weight he has grown so accustomed to, that he had long forgotten it wasn’t supposed to be there.
There are no witnesses to the change that happens in the field, though later, many people in the village will whisper that a werewolf must have savaged the mayor’s son. All Gaston can do is offer the boy some advice, before he flees in howling terror:
french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you
italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house
american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked
chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void.
English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy
Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.
Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie
Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts
Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one will appreciate it.
Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three
Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT.
Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countries’ cuisines AND neuroses.
Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish that has 500 spices so gl
ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion.
Hawi’ian recipes: nothing is ever writen down. if you didn’t start learning to make it when you were 8 you never will. WHAY DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN’T JUST PICK SOME OUTSIDE? eh, just go pick it from your neighbor’s yard.
Also Hawaiian recipes: Cousin Boy shot the feral boar that fucked up his taro patch, the luau is Tuesday. Go pick opihi.