Tag: give it to meeeee

medievalpoc:

The Inquisitor’s Tale: Or, The Three Magical Children and Their Holy Dog

1242. On a dark night, travelers from across France cross paths at an
inn and begin to tell stories of three children. Their adventures take
them on a chase through France: they are taken captive by knights, sit
alongside a king, and save the land from a farting dragon. On the run to
escape prejudice and persecution and save precious and holy texts from
being burned, their quest drives them forward to a final showdown at
Mont Saint-Michel, where all will come to question if these children can
perform the miracles of saints.
 
Join William, an oblate on a
mission from his monastery; Jacob, a Jewish boy who has fled his burning
village; and Jeanne, a peasant girl who hides her prophetic visions.
They are accompanied by Jeanne’s loyal greyhound, Gwenforte …
recently brought back from the dead. Told in multiple voices, in a style
reminiscent of The Canterbury Tales, our narrator collects their stories and the saga of these three unlikely allies begins to come together. 

thebibliosphere:

dreamwaffles:

hag-o-hags:

okay hear me out: 

you know those photo series that are like “In The Running For The Next Spiderman/Young Han Solo/Bachelor/Prince Eric/Property Brother”

and it’s just like nine generically handsome brunet white men that might all be Henry Cavill or might all be Matt Bomer or might all be the photogenic runner guy from 2012 for all we know but it’s impossible to tell because they are just so generic?

and you know how nobody really remembers what Moist von Lipwig (slash Albert Spangler where applicable) actually looks like, they just remember the gold hat, or the glasses, or the bountiful ear hair?

what I want is an adaptation where Moist, whenever he’s being an anonymous face or The Man in the Golden Suit or Albert Spangler, is played by a series of generically handsome brunet white men who are swapped out shot-to-shot.

I love it. @thebibliosphere

Oh my god.

andhumanslovedstories:

andhumanslovedstories:

Okay guys but a remake of The Princess Bride where the frame story is a sick little girl home from school, playing like Breath of the Wild when her grandmother comes in to read her a book. And she starts reading aloud, and the fantasy part starts and it’s footage from the original film that plays for 30 seconds, before the little girl interrupts to be like “is this a story where a bunch of guys save a girl?” in this really annoyed voice

And the grandmother is like “……nooo, let me start again, I misread,” and the fantasy starts again, except this time Wesley is a farm girl and Buttercup is the haughty boy who doesn’t realize he loves her, and Inigo Montoya is a woman, and so is Fezzik and Vizzini, and Humperdinck and Miracle Max, they’re all women, and the only men in the story are the ones playing the roles that were originally female (so: Buttercup, Max’s wife, old lady who boos in nightmare sequence, I literally think that’s it?)

(I thought about lesbian Princess Bride because of course, but then I thought what if you kept the script almost exactly the same, and when reviews complain that the men were boring, we can be like THE ROLES WERE ALWAYS BORING IT JUST WASNT NOTICEABLE BECAUSE THAT’S HOW YOU WRITE WOMEN)

(Lesbian Princess Bride tho, that’s giving me a lot to think about)

And there’s nothing gritty about the remake, the swordplay is as acrobatic as it is unrealistic, the quips are just as light, the colors just as bright, the characters just as ridiculous, and the rodents of unusual size are still giant puppets except women, everywhere women, women women women of all kinds, and it wins a billion oscars

@alkaloidbitch made a very important point about how we may Enhance the Gay, yes yes yes let me stress the degree to which Inigo and Fezzik are married, and oh boy the height difference, oh boy god almighty the sweet sweet height difference

stardust-rain:

“He wanted to go home. He wanted it so much that he trembled at the thought. But if the price of that was selling good men to the night, if the price was filling those graves, if the price was not fighting with every trick he knew… Then it was too high.”

➽ Idris Elba old Vimes // John Boyega as young Vimes

babtest:

so. they made a new german discowrld essentials edition, with a new covers (which is good because the old ones are real bad)

and they are these manga-like ‘build a picture’ style, which i like

but. oh my god. look at that vimes

this isn’t samuel ‘worked the night-shift for 30 years, runs on coffee and spit, has probably not slept more than 3hours any given day’ vimes

this is the guy who played vimes in murder-mystery play, ‘inspired by real events’. hammy acting, horrible script, ‘Clues’ everywhere, heroic fightscenes, big speaches. Vimes threadened to shut the whole thing down for slander.  Sybil probably got an autograph