*goes up to a polyamorous triad* so which one of you is the father, which one of you is the son, and which one of you is the holy spirit?
Tag: gpoly
Polyamory
Reblog if you’re polyamorous/open to polyamory in the future/in a polycule or open to one/interested in polyamory
I want to see how many of us there areAnd like if you think polyamory is okay, can be healthy, and doesn’t “go against human nature”
once i found out about polyamory, love triangles as a plot device lost 98% of their appeal
reblog if you are queer and also exhausted 😱
If a monogamous relationship breaks up, people never consider monogamy to be ‘the problem’, or take it as proof that monogamy doesn’t work. But they do with polyamory.
Me: so are you okay with polyamory?
Date: totally
Me: *shoving breadsticks into my purse* help me grab more so we can share with the others
Polyamory more like polyARMORY *gives u all swords and shields*
Non-relationship escalator relationship landmarks!
The relationship escalator is seen as “the default set of societal expectations for the proper conduct of intimate relationships. Progressive steps with clearly visible markers and a presumed structural goal of permanently monogamous (sexually and romantically exclusive), cohabitating marriage — legally sanctioned if possible. The social standard by which most people gauge whether a developing intimate relationship is significant, “serious,” good, healthy, committed or worth pursuing or continuing”.(x)
Of course, this style of relationship doesn’t work for everybody, like polyamorous, aromantic, solo, and many others individuals – and that’s okay. Non-escalator relationships can be short term and casual, and they can also be long term, emotionally invested relationships. They are build-your-own-lunch-box relationships, relationshipsa la carte. But, how do people in non escalator relationships measure the investment? How do they read emotional commitment, security, and the ongoing life of the relationship, when they aren’t defaulting to the regular milestones of dating, moving in, getting married, and so forth? (x)
Well!
Things small, things that might seem inconsequential in escalator relationships, can take on greater significance in Non-Escalator relationships. It’s not that these wouldn’t or couldn’t be significant in escalators, it’s just that, in a non escalator relationship, you begin to appreciate them more.
I guess this is stupid, but I’ve always wondered: Do you ever get jealous about your partners having sex with or being in love with other people? How do you deal with it without forbidding them to do so or ignoring your own feelings? It seems like some poly people (at least on the Internet) are like: “I never get jealous, I just want my partners to have as much sex and love in their lives as possible, too bad for the partner of jealous controlling you!” which I don’t believe.
I get jealous.
What I don’t get is so jealous I can’t tolerate it, or so jealous I have to act on it. I get jealous the way I’m jealous of a friend who does fun things without me–I might feel mopey about it or need to talk it through, especially if I’m already feeling emotionally shaky for other reasons, but I don’t actually want to stop them. I may be jealous of them, but I’m also happy for them. Especially when they’re so goshdarn cute together.
(I’m expressing my personal experience via analogy, not saying “a lover with other lovers is literally just like a friend with other friends so you’re a possessive jerk if you aren’t okay with that.” If you experience jealousy differently from me, that’s just a difference, not proof that one or the other of us must be evil.)
It’s tough to admit publicly that this isn’t always painless. It feels too much like opening myself up to all the accusations of being a doormat who lets my boyfriend sleep around because I can’t say no, of just putting a nice face on cheating, of my lifestyle being inherently unstable. But I don’t believe in facing those accusations by pretending the lifestyle is all sunshine and roses. It’s sunshine and roses and cuddles and family and sometimes jealousy and sometimes pain and sometimes it works out in the end and sometimes it doesn’t.
Like any kind of love.
Kimchi and Justice 