I’m actually kind of concerned that I won’t be able to resist the urge to troll my hypothetical future children by quoting asinine turn-of-the-millennium Internet memes all the time.
LIke, she’ll be acting up or something, and I’ll suddenly be seized by the irresistible impulse to solemnly intone: “Naughty children get put in the pear wiggler.”
Forget bad puns: the Dad Jokes of the future are going to be straight-up verbal surrealism.
As the parent of a five year old, i can confirm that this urge is, in fact, frequently irresistible.













