hey, remember this post? well, i thought it was kind of a fun idea and that it would make a cute gift for my greek professor who has been really fantastic to me this semester, so here y’all go: The Very Angry Achilles. you can read the rest under the cut!
DONT ASK ME THIS, THIS IS HOW THE TROJAN WAR STARTED, I DONT WANT THIS MAN
Right away, Aphrodite popped into my head.
And then I’m just like, “DAMMIT, DID YOU LEARN NOTHING FROM PARIS? YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT, AND NOW ALL THE TROJANS ARE DEAD. I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY.”
If you are ever actually in this situation, pro-tip: name Persephone. Half the goddesses will be too surprised to smite you immediately and while Hades won’t do you any favors he may at least high-five you while your on your way down.
Another tip: name Mesperyian. Not only will you shock everyone, including her (since Aphrodite was a jealous ho who burnt half her face off), but you’ll win Hades’ favour. As his most beloved daughter, anything that praises her will make you a kind human to her, an okay human to him, and a genuinely good person to anyone else.
I heartily endorse this alternative answer.
I love how all of this advice leads to “please Hades at all costs.”
Imagine hearing about a play that ran for one night only.
Everything you know about it is second-hand at best. If you’re lucky, you might be able to talk to someone who saw it. If you’re really lucky, they’ll even be telling the truth. More likely, everything that comes to you is of the “I know a guy whose second cousin’s former roomate was in the audience” variety.
With a bit of digging, maybe you can get your hands on some of the props and costumes, though there’s nothing to tell you how they were used. Maybe even a few pages of the script – though as any student of theatre can tell you, what it says in the script and what actually went down on stage are often two very different things.
Now: imagine writing fanfic based on this play you’ve never seen and never will, without so much as a decent plot summary to guide you.
If that sounds reasonable to you, congratulations: you may have what it takes to be an historian.
I always see shit from old classicists demonizing Calypso for holding Odysseus hostage in a land that wasn’t his own and not allowing him to return to his family for years, yet I never see shit from old classicists demonizing Paris for doing the same thing to Helen.
#oh do let’s talk about female ptsd in the Iliad (latining)
Zachar: Usually translated as “male” in English. Nekevah: Usually translated as “female” in English. Androgynos: A person who has both “male” and “female” sexual characteristics. [Source: 149 references in Mishna and Talmud (1st-8th Centuries CE); 350 in classical midrash and Jewish law codes (2nd -16th Centuries CE).] Tumtum: A person whose sexual characteristics are indeterminate or obscured. [Source: 181 references in Mishna and Talmud; 335 in classical midrash and Jewish law codes.] Ay’lonit: A person who is identified as “female” at birth but develops “male” characteristics at puberty and is infertile. [Source: 80 references in Mishna and Talmud; 40 in classical midrash and Jewish law codes.] Saris: A person who is identified as “male” at birth but develops “female” characteristics as puberty and/or is lacking a penis. A saris can be “naturally” a saris (saris hamah), or become one through human intervention (saris adam). [Source: 156 references in mishna and Talmud; 379 in classical midrash and Jewish law codes.]
Our Sages non-judgmentally explore the role of intersex people in regards to many facets of ritual and civil law such as circumcision, redemption, oath-taking and menstruation.
The midrash, in Bereshit Rabah, posits that Adam, the first human being, was actually an androgynos. While in the Babylonian Talmud (Yevamot 64a-64b) the radical claim is made that Abraham and Sarah were tumtumim, gender non-conforming people. According to our tradition the first human being and the first Jews were gender outlaws. This teaches us that it is those that transgress the apparently rigid lines of Judaism that have caused the tradition to grow.
Kimchi and Justice 