the iliad: Area Man Expected To Work With These Incompetents
the odyssey: Prodigal Asshole Returns
the aeneid: Man Who Thought He’d Lost All Hope Loses Last Additional Bit Of Hope He Didn’t Even Know He Still Had
the satyricon: I Fucked My Way Into This Mess, And I’ll Fuck My Way Out
medea: Relationship Not A Power Struggle, Woman Who’s Winning Reports
the bacchae: Area Man Just In Bad Mood Because He’s Tired And An Awful Human Being
iphigenia at aulis: Guests Forced To Pretend Wedding A Good Thing
agamemnon: Study Finds Expressing Anger In Unhealthy Ways Incredibly Satisfying
oedipus the king: True Courage Is Knowing You’re Wrong But Refusing To Admit It
herodotus’s histories: Historians Admit To Inventing Ancient Greeks
the poetry of catullus: Relationship Definitely Hurtling Toward Something
the ars amatoria: Man’s Relationship Advice Same As His Hunting Tips
the speeches of cicero: Here Are All Of My Opinions
the epigrams of martial: Come On, Lighten Up, I’m Just Being A Total Asshole
…and after the 50th time my little cousin said that at today’s family get-together, I went to the car and got the dice. Three small children between the ages of 6 and 10 got to play (a very loose, impromptu, anything-goes version of) D&D for the first time ever. I titled it, “Save the Princess.”
My niece played a wizard, while the bored cousin played a fighter, who gradually evolved into the equivalent of a rogue/eldritch knight, and the other cousin played a cleric. These are the ensuing things my young players said.
DM: You are all staying at an inn tonight. It’s like a hotel. Wizard: Is there a pool?! DM: … why not. Wizard: I’ll get my bathing suit! —————-
DM: The man who was reading the book in the lobby last night comes up to you guys. NPC-Druid: I’m going to get to the dragon first, turn into a bear, and kill him! Fighter: There’s going to be bear traps! DM: Roll to persuade him there’s going to be traps. NPC rolls a 3, and the Fighter rolls a 7. DM: The guy with the book starts crying and goes back to his room. —————-
DM: A pony is 20 dollars, a horse is 50 dollars, and an invisible horse is 70 dollars. Wizard: Ooooo! Let’s buy a pony! Cleric: YEAH! Wizard: It’s white with polka dots, okay! Cleric: YEAH!
—————-
Fighter: I want to put a bottomless hole under the wolf! (rolls too low). DM: You put a hole next to the wolf. Cleric: I want to put the wolf to sleep. (rolls high enough). DM: Alright, he’s asleep now. Wizard: I’m going to push the wolf into the bottomless hole.
—————–
Wizard: I want to cast a spell to put bugs in his shirt… Is the dragon wearing a shirt? —————-
The saddest part about the campaign was that the dragon didn’t get one hit off on the players. The wizard, however: poisoned it, burned it, summoned a rock that fell on its head, summoned a swarm of insects that got in its scales and bit it a lot, and the fighter made it incapable of breathing fire. This is how the dice fell, and this is how the dragon died.
im reblogging this again because in 10 days i am finally going to meet my best friend of two years for the first time irl, who is the person i made this post about
anything is possible yall keep holding onto those Eventuallys because someday they might become Very Soons
man it’s super cute seeing everyone tag their far away besties.
and then immediately applied Tim Horton’s coffee and massive quantities of poutine to a very jetlagged Briton, to innoculate her against local diseases
massive success
And THEN dragged her up a mountain and down again the very next day XDD
Donald Trump just approved the Keystone XL tarsands pipeline — overturning Obama’s 2015 rejection. [1]
Keystone XL would threaten dozens of rivers with oil spills, and make it virtually impossible for Canada to meet our climate targets. [2]
Today, Trump warned that he plans to “renegotiate the terms” of the project — and the media is already reporting that this could mean higher costs for Canada. [3]
Unbelievably, the Liberal government is giving Trump’s plan the thumbs-up, without any additional review of the changes to the project that Trump negotiates. That gives Trump a blank cheque to change the project terms without our approval [4]
What’s worse, Keystone XL has never faced a serious review in Canada. Harper rubber-stamped the pipeline after a sham process that didn’t even consider climate change.
A project this massive needs a careful and thorough review — especially now that Trump is promising to negotiate changes that could make Keystone even worse for Canada.
If enough of us speak out, we can convince the Liberal government to suspend Harper’s approval of Keystone XL, and put the project — including any of Trump’s changes — through a new, credible review process.
Canadians! Here is a tangible thing we can do to block Trump’s administration from overturning all Obama’s work. They have a conservative government, but we don’t. They need our cooperation to finish this pipeline. Let’s make sure it never happens.
Americans please reblog for your Canadian followers! There are more of you than us, so it will help us reach people we normally wouldn’t.
This may be one of the only viable ways to stop or delay this pipeline (and the associated CO2 emissions), but it needs to be shared widely enough to reach a large amount of Canadians, if it is to be successful.
‘Little Kids and Their Big Dogs’ is a heartwarming photography project by Andy Seliverstoff that focuses on the unbreakable bond between little children and their supersized dogs.
concept: space pirates who sound exactly like regular pirates, except replace all references to “the sea” with “the void”
“aye, the void is a harsh mistress,” the captain said, gazing out the window of her ship into the vast starry expanse. “she’ll take more than she gives, in the end. but those who are called to life in the void don’t know any other way.”
Kimchi and Justice 