some scholars may think…but this line of thought is misguided “some scholars don’t know what they’re talking about, and i sure am glad i’m not one of them”
it is worthwhile to note why this topic is important “i don’t know why this is important but i hope you’ll publish it anyway”
in a well-known article by renowned scholar x… “i can’t remember the article this is from so i will pretend like everyone knows what it is”
it is tempting to believe that… “you’re an idiot if you believe that…”
this is a difficult question to answer “i don’t know the answer”
to sum up the evidence which i have just posited to my readers… “my paper is not yet long enough”
the evidence is unclear “fuck if i know mate lmao”
further research may be necessary “i procrastinated on this and i’m hoping nobody notices”
honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible
i also want to point out we know it tastes the same even after thousands of years b/c archaeologists who discovered two thousand year old honey tasted it. presumably right after they looked at each other and went “what the hell here goes nothing”
I’m pretty sure they also identify human remains by taste. Archaeologists are straight up freaks.
No, no no… you identify bone from rock or other substances by touching it to your tongue. If it sticks, it’s bone. The taste itself has nothing to do with it. And most archaeologists won’t lick human bones if they know they’re human.
…and I realize that doesn’t actually do much to prove archaeologists aren’t freaks.
mai nam is jane and wen i dig i fynde some roks both smol and big i put my tung upon the stone for science yes i lik the bone
Look my archaeology professor regularly had classes at the local bar and told us about his friend’s plan to create the Foundation for Unified Cultural Knowledge (when you see it…) archaeologists aren’t freaks, they’re damn entertaining freaks.
Scholar 1: *writes a thing*
Scholar 2: Here is my review of his thing. In closing, it is shit.
Scholar 1: It has come to my attention that Scholar 2 referred to my work as shit. I have for you now an essay on why my work is NOT shit and why Scholar 2 is henceforth dead to me.
Scholar 2: It has been brought to my attention that Scholar 1-
Kimchi and Justice 