Tag: lol literature

thoodleoo:

thoodleoo:

thoodleoo:

thoodleoo:

so in my greek class we were talking about oral composition and how something like the iliad must have been composed, and my prof asked us to consider how we would rapidly compose something like poetry on the spot. and i think it was a really important exercise not just for understanding the construction of an oral epic but also for reminding us of how great works can come from supposedly “humble” origins. so if anyone is ever snobby about their homer, just remind them that, as my professor put it, the iliad is basically ancient freestyle rap, and homer is much closer to jay z than to f. scott fitzgerald

basically what i’m saying is please imagine homer asking someone to give him a beat on the lyre and then dropping the sickest fucking meter ever. the ill-iad, by lil homie

the freshest poet this side of the adriatic

drop that meter like odysseus dropped the ball getting home

jellymccrank:

vaspider:

sean-gaffney:

ginnytea:

lanarz:

antdonut:

hisnamewasbeanni:

strangenewclassrooms:

torteen:

ofpagesandink:

holy-crap-someone-finally:

flamingmirror:

trinareadsbooks:

newtsbookblog:

savethegryphons:

So yesterday with a chain saw…

Dirty rowdy thing with a chain saw… Oops.

not without laughter with a chainsaw. 

Hahahaha

Night pleasures with a chainsaw. Not weird at all

The Martian with a chainsaw

This is Where it Ends… with a Chainsaw yesss

Vassa in the Night…With a Chainsaw. That totally works. In more ways than we can explain, but you’ll find out in September!

Salt to the Sea … With a Chainsaw. What do you think, @reblogbookclub?

Down & Dirty with a Chainsaw

…ow?

The Everything Sign Language Book: American Sign Language Made Easy … With a Chainsaw.

Lies. That doesn’t sound easy at all.

Does manga count? Because Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon with a Chainsaw sounds pretty awesome.

Zombie Tag With a Chainsaw. Heh, as long as they’re not KA zombies, I’m set.

A Certain Magical Index with a chainsaw. Touma’s in trouble.

ALEXANDER HAMILTON WITH A CHAINSAW

Caillou Brushes His Teeth With A Chainsaw

I’m okay with this.

Persuasion with a Chainsaw.
…sounds effective.
Maybe next I’ll reread Pride and Prejudice and Chainsaws.

othercat2:

aetherbox:

scloutier:

vampireapologist:

brownies4myybrownie:

Lmfaoooooooooo

HE YELLED WHO IS IN HERE ON HIS WAY DOWN IM HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTACK

This is just to say

I have fallen into
the toilet seat
which I myself
left up

and which
you were probably 
inconvenienced by
multiple times

Forgive me
(I will never do it again)
it was so wet
and so cold

*CHOKES ON TEA* XD

Now I have to re-reblog, because poetry.

lilliburlero:

the-cimmerians:

gwydionmisha:

jonesandbennett:

everything I’ve learned from the BBC and various books growing up tells me that nothing happens at Oxford and Cambridge except murders, secret societies, homosexual longing and possibly the occasional orgy (which begins in homosexual longing and ends in someone being murdered)

Also spies.  Sometimes there are gay spy orgies with or without murder.

And it would be so terribly gauche to confuse those last two, to go and really let your hair down at the gay spy orgy only to be caught out by the sudden murdering. ‘I dare say old bean, this is a bit of an outrage,’ you would attest, manhandling erotically sticky corpses out of the way. ‘Terribly bad form.’

except murders, secret societies, homosexual longing and possibly the occasional orgy (which begins in homosexual longing and ends in someone being murdered), spies, and propelling shallow flat-bottomed river craft with 14-ft poles while dispensing brittle witticisms through a curtain of fair, floppy hair

fixed it

add 14-ft poles to orgies to taste

some classics valentine’s day poems

raisel-the-riveter:

johnnyatruant:

johnnyatruant:

johnnyatruant:

teashoesandhair:

thoodleoo:

Achilles

roses are red

wine-dark is the sea

my boyfriend is dead

time for a killing spree

Oedipus

roses are red

a hue like no other

you know, valentine,

you’re just like my mother?

Catullus

my girl’s eyes are swollen

her sparrow is dead

but is that just a metaphor

for my dick instead?

Cato

roses are red

space is black like a void

who cares about love

Carthage must be destroyed

Poseidon

Roses are red

like bitter regret 

I’m god of the ocean 

let me make you wet 😉

Odysseus

My wife is at home

but babe, let’s forget her; 

I’ll show you a good time

‘cause Nobody’s better

Athena 

Roses are red

violets are red 

everything is red 

I love war

Apollo

Roses are red

but I haven’t got any

all of my lovers

have turned into botany

Prometheus

I’ve bought you some roses

‘cause babe, I’m a giver

say you’ll be mine

I’ll really de-liver

Zeus

Roses are red

violets are blue

shit, Hera’s coming – 

Julius Caesar

Roses are red, 

And so is my blood.

What the fuck Brutus?

I thought we were good! 

Pompey

Roses are red,

My pate’s on a plate.

Ptolemy got head

On our first date. 

Crassus

Gold is not red, 

It’s yellow like honey. 

Your house is on fire,

So give me your money. 

Porcia

Embers are red,

The hottest fire’s blue.

I swallowed these coals

So you’d know I was true. 

Cato the Younger

Entrails are red.

You can’t keep me in stitches. 

I ripped my guts open.

Fuck all you bitches. 

Catilina

I see two bodies. 

They’re me and you. 

I fucked a Vestal. 

I fucked your dad, too. 

Clodius 

Roses are red, 

I have three hot sisses.  

I put on a dress

And I nailed Caesar’s missus. 

@raisel-the-riveter DEAL WITH THIS IT’S YOUR FAULT. 

Cicero

Violets are indigo,

Roses are crimson.

Silver my tongue is,

Like Fulvia’s hairpin. 

Mark Antony

Roses are red,

And violets bucolic. 

I’m Marcus Antonius

And I’m an alcoholic. 

@raisel-the-riveter I CAN’T STOP. 

!!! OH MY GOD

ohnoproblems:

natellite:

“the raven” only its about macklemore. thanks for following my blog

once inside a thrift shop dreary, while i browsed there, weak and weary,

over many a quaint and curious greatcoat of forgotten bore—

while I nodded, puissance sapping, suddenly there came a yapping,

as of some one whitely rapping, rapping at my bargain store—

“‘tis some visitor,” i muttered, “rapping at my bargain store—

only this and macklemore.”