Nope! Or rather, if so I missed it, which would be incredible because that story is incredible.
There’s a great story in there about Dashiell Hammet and Hemingway getting into a masculine-honor pissing contest that starts with Hemingway throwing a glass against Parker’s fireplace at a party for absolutely no apparent reason? and ends with Hammett telling Hemingway to “go roll a hoop in the park” instead of bothering him further. Also a story about Hemingway getting mad at Hellman for noticing his own terrible editing job on one of the novels and retaliating by telling her he wouldn’t sleep with her (her response: “who asked?”)
stories about how no one liked ernest hemingway are important to me. also marriages founded on a shared gift for derision.
i really want to believe i didn’t invent the typewriter story; it is very important also. can anyone source it? ( @havingbeenbreathedout, perhaps?)
This is, indeed, an amazing collection of literal and metaphorical awkward historical dinner parties. “Go roll a hoop in the park” may be the most perfect insult ever directed at a Hemingway type; I will try to remember & use it.
Re: the typewriter story, I can’t immediately find a reliable source, but it does seem to be floating around out there. It’s casually referenced in this 2009 blog entry (”I am coming to despise the very medium of my writing, just like the aforementioned Parker who threw her typewriter at Ernest Hemingway off the side of a cruise ship to New York “There goes my only means of livelihood,” she said.”) The blogger’s name is also Sophie, incidentally, so maybe this is you. The story’s also mentioned in this comment on a separate blog entry, also from 2009. Maybe there was a shared source in 2009? A Salon.com article or something? If so I couldn’t find it.
I did unearth this hilarious little series of anecdotes, about Parker, Hemingway, and Robert Benchley’s 1926 ocean crossing to France (from Marion Meade’s What Fresh Hell is This?):
Nothing like saltpeter & pubic lice to liven up a transatlantic crossing.
You chuck an old-school typewriter at somebody’s head, you fucking mean it. Those things were heavy as hell.
how is it possible to love fictional characters this much and also have people always been this way?
like, did queen elizabeth lie in bed late sometimes thinking ‘VERILY I CANNOT EVEN FOR MERCUTIO HATH SLAIN ME WITH FEELS’
was caesar like ‘ET TU ODYSSEUS’
sometimes i wonder
oh my GOD
the answer is yes they did. there’s a lot of research about the highly emotional reactions to the first novels widely available in print.
here’s a thing; the printing press was invented in 1450 and whilst it was revolutionary it wasn’t very good. but then it got better over time and by the 16th century there were publications, novels, scientific journals, folios, pamphlets and newspapers all over Europe. at first most were educational or theological, or reprints of classical works.
however, novels gained in popularity, as basically what most people wanted was to read for pleasure. they became salacious, extremely dramatic, with tragic heroines and doomed love and flawed heroes (see classical literature, only more extreme.) books in the form of letters were common. sensationalism was par the course and apparently used to teach moral lessons. there was also a lot of erotica floating around.
but here’s the thing: due to the greater availability of literature and the rise of comfy furniture (i shit you not this is an actual historical fact, the 16th and 17th century was when beds and chairs got comfy) people started reading novels for pleasure, women especially. as these novels were highly emotional, they too became…highly emotional. there are loads of contemporary reports of young women especially fainting, having hysterics, or crying fits lasting for days due to the death of a character or their otp’s doomed love. they became insensible over books and characters, and were very vocal about it. men weren’t immune-there’s a long letter a middle-aged man wrote to the author of his favourite work basically saying that the novel is too sad, he can’t handle all his feels, if they don’t get together he won’t be able to go on, and his heart is already broken at the heroine’s tragic state (IIRC ehh).
conservatives at the time were seriously worried about the effects of literature on people’s mental health, and thought it damaging to both morals and society. so basically yes it is exactly like what happens on tumblr when we cry over attractive British men, only my historical theory (get me) is that their emotions were even more intense, as they hadn’t had a life of sensationalist media to numb the pain for them beforehand in the same way we do, nor did they have the giant group therapy session that is tumblr.
(don’t even get me started on the classical/early medieval dudes and their boners for the Iliad i will be here all week. suffice to say, the members of the Byzantine court used Homeric puns instead of talking normally to each other if someone who hand’t studied the classics was in the room. they had dickish fandom in-jokes. boom.)
I needed to know this.
See, we’re all just the current steps in a time-honored tradition! (And this post is good to read along with Affectingly’s post this week about old-school-fandom-and-history-and-stuff.
Ancient Iliad fandom is intense
Alexander the Great and and his boyfriend totally RPed Achilles and Patroclus. Alexander shipped that hard. (It’s possible that this story is apocryphal, but that would just mean that ancient historians were writing RPS about Alexander and Hephaestion RPing Iliad slash and honestly that’s just as good).
And then there’s this gem from Plato:
“Very different was the reward of the true love of Achilles towards his lover Patroclus – his lover and not his love (the notion that Patroclus was the beloved one is a foolish error into which Aeschylus has fallen, for Achilles was surely the fairer of the two, fairer also than all the other heroes; and, as Homer informs us, he was still beardless, and younger far)” – Symposium
That’s right: 4th Century BCE arguments about who topped. Nihil novi sub sole my friends.
More on this glorious subject from people who know way more than I do
Man I love this post.
And to add my personal favourite story: after reading Samuel Richardson’s Clarissa in the 18th century, Elizabeth Echlin decided that she was NOT HAPPY with the ending and basically wrote her own fix-it fic. No-one dies and Lovelace (the villain) was totally reformed and became a super nice guy. It’s completely OOC and incredibly poorly written and it’s beautiful.
Also, so many women fell in love with the villain, Lovelace, and wrote to Richardson about it, that he kept adding new bits with each edition to highlight what a hideous person Lovelace was. So it’s almost unsurprising that reading novels in this period was actually considered dangerous because it gave women unrealistic ideas about men and made them easier prey for rakes.
Basically, “I want my own Christian Grey” has been a thing for hundreds of years.
Also a thing with fix-it/everyone lives AUs: at various points in time but especially in the mid 1800s-early 1900s (aka roughly Victorian though there were periods of this earlier as well) a huge thing was to “fix” Shakespeare (as well as most theater/novels) to be in line with current morality. Good characters live, bad characters are terribly punished – but not, you know, grusomely, because what would the ladies think? So you have like, productions of King Lear where Cordelia lives and so do Regan and Goneril, but they’re VERY SORRY.
Aka all your problematic faves are redeemed and Everyone Lives! AUs for every protag.
Slightly tangential but I wanted to add my own favorite account of Chinese fandom to this~ I don’t know how many people here have heard of the Chinese novel A Dream of Red Mansions (红楼梦), but it is, arguably, the most famous Chinese novel ever written (There are four Chinese novel classics and A Dream of Red Mansions is considered the top of that list). It was written during the Qing dynasty by 曹雪芹, but became a banned book due to its critique of societal institutions and pro-democracy themes. As a result, the original ending of the book was lost and only the first 80 chapters remained. There are quite a few versions of how the current ending of the book came to be, but one of them is basically about how He Shen, one of Emperor Qian Long’s most powerful advisers, was such a super-fan of the book, he hired two writers to archive and reform the novel from the few remaining manuscripts there were. In order to convince the Emperor to remove the ban on the book, he had the writers essentially write a fanfiction ending to the book that would mitigate the anti-establishment themes. However, He Shen thought that the first version of the ending was too tragic (even though the whole book is basically a tragedy) so he had the writers go back and write a happier ending for him (the current final 40 chapters). He then presented the book to the Emperor and successfully convinced him to remove the ban on the book.
According to incomplete estimates, A Dream of Red Mansions spawned over 20 spin offs, retellings, and alternate versions (in the form of operas, plays, etc.) during the Qing Dynasty alone.
In 1979, fans (albeit academic ones) started publishing a bi-monthly journal dedicated to analysis (read: meta) on A Dream of Red Mansions. In fact, the novel’s fandom is so vast and qualified and rooted in academics of Chinese literature that there is an entire field of study (beginning in the Qing dynasty) of just this one novel, called 红学. Think of it as Shakespearean studies, but only on one play. This field of study has schools of thought and specific specializations (as in: Psych analyses, Economics analyses, Historical analyses, etc.) that span pretty much every academic field anyone can think of.
(That being said, I’ve read A Dream of Red Mansions and can honestly say that I’ve never read its peer in either English or Chinese. If for nothing else, read it because you would never otherwise believe that a man from the Qing dynasty could write such a heart-breakingly feminist novel with such a diverse cast of female characters given all the bitching and moaning we hear from male content-creators nowadays)
the beauty of archival research *sigh*
Not a really interesting addition to this post compared to the above comments, but Jane Austen’s Northanger Abbey has the effect of reading overly dramatic Gothic literature on an impressionable young girl’s state of mind as a major theme. And there was a lot of concern in the regency period about the suitability of these novels for young women, because there was a concern that they reacted to the stories too strongly. (Subtext here being that there was a certain amount of anxiety that some of the available works of fiction were FAR too salacious for ladies)
Allow me to add Goethe and the Werther Effect – people (young men) cosplayed as Werther and were absolutely obsessed, some apparently to the point of suicide (although there is little proof for that), people wrote fix it-fics, Goethe hated them for it (there’s nothing like a good literary feud), the book was banned, people wrote more fic in the style of Werther, so called Wertheriaden ect. The Sturm und Drang period is a really good one for such episodes – people were very, very passionate about their books.
Watson: Holmes, I don’t think you have any. We used them all on the last case.
Holmes: well, there you have it. I have no fucks to give.
The opening of basically every interview Sherlock Holmes grants to people requesting his help. (Usually after a few minutes he finds some spare fucks in the couch cushions.)
Watson then usually looks disapproving until Holmes finds them, then neglects his practice/wife/life while he helps.
This is also quite true.
WATSON! HOLD MY FUCKS!
Sherlock Holmes and the Adventure of the Missing Fucks by Sir Arthur “Here’s another fucking Sherlock Holmes story, ffs” Conan Doyle.
so i read the entirety of peter pan in one sitting today and it is SO GREAT and unintentionally hilarious and really really enjoyable and i wanna gush so here’s some stuff
someone once told captain hook that he looks like a stuart so he started dressing like charles II complete w long black ringlets
ringlets………..which he combs using his hook
he also uses his hook for “other homely uses” i have no idea what j.m. chose not to extrapolate
hook’s great master plan to kill the lost boys is to BAKE THEM A CAKE and put dodgy stuff in it so they eat it and die
wendy is like “u aint eating shit u found on the floor” and makes them use the cake as a missile??? which hook later falls over in the dark
speaking of wendy the lost boys are All About wendy when she first arrives peter is like never touch wendy. build a house around her. we are her servants. she is a lady.
john is literally like “are you fucking kidding me"
tinker bell is super not here for peter’s flight of fancy shit and yells YOU SILLY ASS at him literally about ten times
peter is kinda dumb actually
at one point he falls asleep on Wendy Guard Duty "and some unsteady fairies had to climb over him on their way home from an orgy”
????????????????
there are non-binary fairies!!!!! girls glow white, boys glow mauve and the blue ones are “little sillies who are not sure what they are” which is….really really cute!!!!!
there’s a whole section where peter and this bird are yelling at each other but peter doesn’t speak bird and the bird doesn’t speak human and they’re mad about it
j.m. makes sure to point out that hook “was not wholly evil; he loved flowers"
when the pirates kidnap wendy and the lost boys hook bows to wendy and sweeps his hat off and gives her his arm and she’s so starry-eyed about it she forgets she’s being kidnapped
the thirst is real wendy
hook is also scared of smee. all the kids love smee cos he’s little with funny glasses and thinks he’s really fearsome but. hook is. actually. scared of smee
at one point peter is helping hook up onto a rock because a) good form and b) he wants to have a proper nemesis fight and hook BITES PETER and peter is fucking beside himself about it
in fact 100% of their interaction reads like kate beaton’s nemesis comic
tiger lily is a stone cold badass!!!!!! all the men in her tribe want to lock that down and she’s like “fuck no”
when peter rescues her from hook and smee rather than carrying her bridal-style back to her camp (no thx disney) she’s just like TIGER LILY OUT and swims home abandoning peter to his dumb pirate fight
peter may be slightly unhinged actually. like one paragraph early on basically says that sometimes he’d go for walks on his own and not talk about it when he came back, then the others would go out AND FIND THE BODY
like the book pretty much insinuates that when the lost boys start getting too old peter takes ‘em out back and puts ‘em down
and before the big boss fight he’s picking pirates off one by one and a lost boy is just calmly keeping an out-loud count of how many throats peter’s slit
and after the boss fight he literally kicks hook overboard to where he knows the crocodile’s waiting
that kid is fucked up i’m just saying
the narrator loses his shit towards the end i’m serious one minute he’s like I HATE MRS. DARLING SO MUCH and the next he’s all “i love mrs. darling, those kids are some selfish brats though”
mr. darling blames himself for the childrens’ disappearance because he locked nana outside so he starts…..living in her kennel. a taxi picks him and the kennel up every morning and takes him to work in it. he becomes famous because he lives in the kennel
?????????????????
in conclusion this book was great and j.m. barrie was possibly on crack and also disney what were you thinking
if you’re ever worried about how weird your fanfic is just remember that Aristophanes wrote about Aeschylus and Euripides having a rap battle in the underworld while Dionysus croaked at hell frogs
The Grapes of Wrath: Poor People Suffering Under Unjust Capitalist System Make Really Angry Symbolic Grapes
Wicked: SJW Badass Undone By Unjust Totalitarian Society and Ten-Year-Old With Bucket of Water, Is Tragic As Fuck
Moby Dick: Captain Is Dick to Symbolic Whale
Life of Pi: Bullshit Story About Tiger Taken As Legit By Unsuspecting Reader, Reader Is Strangely Okay With This
The Kite Runner: Kabul Local Is Dick to Friend, Atones By Running Symbolic Kite
Perfume: Look At This Creepy Talented Fuck: The Oderiferous Edition
The Poisonwood Bible: Religion Is Poison and Your Country’s A Dick: The Africa Edition
To Kill A Mockingbird: Society Is Racist, Classicist, and Sexist, Also Kills Innocent Birds
Heart of Darkness: Imperialist Shit Trippy As Hell, I Want Out
Crime and Punishment: Sympathetic Creep Tries To Forego Conscience Through Murder And Fails: The Russian Edition
Hamlet: Complexity of Moral Dilemma Undoes Charismatic Intellectual
Macbeth: Sympathetic Creep Tries To Forego Conscience Through Murder And Fails: The Scottish Edition
King Lear: Bad Character Judgment Undoes Idiot King, Established Order Falls Apart
Romeo and Juliet: Love Is Great And Then You Die. Or It Dies. Either Way It’s Terrible
A Midsummer Night’s Dream: Love Is Like A Dream: Fickle, Random, and Trippy as Fuck
Pride and Prejudice: You Can Marry For Love And Be Filthy Rich!: Every Girl’s Fantasy, Admittedly
Les Misérables: Isn’t Suffering Ennobling and Beautiful?: A Christian-Friendly Love Story
East of Eden: Moral Complexity Subverts Garden of Eden Bullshit
Of Mice and Men: Cruelty Kills, Er, Cruelly
The Phantom of the Opera: Look At This Creepy Talented Fuck: The Musical Edition
The Magic Mountain: Sanitorium Is Trippy As Hell, I Want In
One Hundred Years of Solitude: Superstitious Bullshit Causes Vicious Cycle of Suffering, Is Hilarious
Great Expectations: Oppressive Class System Is Full of Shit, Protagonist Slowly Realizes
A Tale of Two Cities: Oppressive Class System Leads To Violence, Also Poignant Redemption of Drunkard
Harry Potter: Boy Wizard Fights Evil Wizard In Battle Between Good and Evil, Is Better Than It Sounds
Love In the Time of Cholera: Love Is A Lot of Things But It Ain’t True Pal: A Love Story
The Scarlet Letter: Symbolic Letter Screws Up Local Woman’s Life, Also Patriarchy
The Odyssey: Very Long Trip Home For Dick Protagonist
Frankenstein: Science Makes Me Uncomfortable I Think It’s Evil: A Symbolic Cautionary Tale
Dracula: Sexuality Make Me Uncomfortable I Think It’s Evil: A Conservative’s Musing
Stargirl: Unconventional Girl Gets Bitch-Slapped By Conventional Society, Says Sayonara
The Casual Vacancy: Vacuous Small Town Bullshit Has A Death Count, No Joke
The Great Gatsby: Aren’t Rich People Glamorous and Tragic?: A Sycophant’s Love Story