men in greek mythology? scoundrels. just terrible. woeful social skills. murderers. kidnappers. violent misogynists. most of them… never described as handsome so we have to assume they were ugly.
narcissus? unproblematic. beacon of transformative self love. king of the swerve. gay icon. couldn’t recognize his reflection but neither can my dog, we aren’t holding that against him.
Narcissus wrote this
I refuse to believe Narcissus could read.
i’ve been thinking about this response for the better part of 2 hours and it hasn’t gotten less hysterically funny to me
I feel so bad but i’m just sitting here cackling as my bestie is sending me increasingly exasperated texts about her students’ first research paper (1 page long lol). Like. Despite having deadlines for each stage of research and writing, one kid emailed her at 7:45 pm for the final 10 pm deadline with a question about “resurch.” Multiple kids have plagiarized their papers, one of whom didn’t even bother changing the font or the color of the sections he copied and pasted. One girl just cited a fucking fanfiction story as one of her sources.
Middle schoolers are so precious, but god they can be so stupid too. Darling children lol
update: fanfiction girl may have put it in the works cited but didn’t even bother to put quotation marks in as she just copied and pasted two full pages of a fanfiction into her paper. every little additional detail i learn about these papers just gets worse lol
she sent me the link of the story she copied and pasted. it is…not good. it’s not even a good story. why did she steal it? god this entire sordid tale is so baffling. is it possible that this child has genuinely mistaken bad self-insert fanfiction for legitimate greek mythology? the world may never know
“Also, fanfiction.net is a community of modern fiction writers, and is not a credible source for your research papers.” – an actual sentence my friend just had to write to her students. i’m dying this is incredible lol
“Although the Trojan horse is something we all think is real, it’s actually classified as a myth.” oh you sweet summer child
“I used this video thing to find out what the roman house you can find out.” what does this even mean lol
god they’re such precious babies fumbling around like newborn colts and i am living
“The Trojan War Horse was built around the time the Trojan War took place.” I mean. He’s not wrong…
“
Like Gaea, Ouranos had a human form too, in his human form he was a tall buff guy, with long black hair, wearing only a loincloth… (don’t judge me, Gaea was the one who made him…)
So then they get married, bla bla bla bal bal.”
“
So they have triplets, and these kids define UGLY. Now don’t get me wrong they were as big and strong as the titans but they were so brutish and NEEDED any kind of waxing, and to top it all off each one had a huge eye in the middle of their forehead. They became the elder cyclops.Of course when Ouranos saw them he was like “Nope!” and made chains out the nights pure blackness and chained up the triplets and tossed them into the pit.”
“
So Gaea had come up with this new and brilliant idea called killing.”
“
But that is a story for another time. For now I will work on painting some of the moments for the LAVP so see ya later.My references are:“Percy Jackson and the Greek Gods” book by Rick Riordan, Goggle, Wikapedia”
Okay I honestly never anticipated this post to go beyond my immediate circle, and apparently some people have missed the point of this post. This is their first paper. They are learning and part of learning is doing things very badly before doing them well. Honestly I only wanted to share some nostalgic cute-response trigger with y’all witnessing the first adorable, fumbling baby steps into this kind of assignment, not for some of you to fucking judge them or their teacher just because their first attempts aren’t perfect. So like. God just enjoy it without being an asshole.
“In this paragraph I will be telling you the dimensions of the Colosseum in Rome.” “In this paragraph I will be talking about the features of the Colosseum.”
Not what was meant by making sure you have a strong thesis statement, but kudos to this kid who was obviously listening and trying to apply that to their paper ❤
“I am going to talk about things like Odysseus’s stops, the characters involved with his stops, and how long and far he traveled to get home. I can’t wait to show you everything that I have learned so far!”
oh my god this precious sunflower
“Nearly every town in Ancient Greek has a patron god or goddess because most gods didn’t share well.” There’s almost nothing wrong with this sentence I’m just enjoying this masterful use of understatement.
i read this entire thing nodding, going, yes, yes, this is what my students are like also. this is #relatable content.
One thing I never really understood was Sleipnir (meaning “slippery one” fyi) in depictions of Norse mythology. Sleipnir is an eight-legged horse, the steed of Odin and the son of Loki, and he is commonly depicted like this:
(image not mine)
But why would you depict an eight-legged horse like this? Horses gallop the same way most other mammals run, with all feet leaving the ground at one point, so having extra feet here doesn’t seem like it could make the horse any faster. I’m also not sure it would give it any more stable footing, since it doesn’t have a wider base.
If you want a stable eight-legged form that can reach great speeds for its size, wouldn’t you want to start with what nature has already provided? Wouldn’t you want something more like… this?
(my drawing)
“But wait!” you might say, “Sleipnir was conceived when Loki, in horse-form, seduced another horse! That’s why it looks all horsey, just with extra bits!”
Well, that’s a good point, but consider that Loki as a deity was originally based off the spider, and his name even derives from the old Swedish word for spider (source). Therefore, it’s not too hard to believe Sleipnir inherited his horse half from his mother and the more spidery half from his father. In conclusion:
Spider-Horse, Spider-Horse, He does spider-things of course! Weaves a web, Makes you gawk, Riding round ‘til Ragnarok! Look out! Here comes the Spider-Horse.
I am all for creative interpretations of Sleipnir. And spiders, obviously. This is epic.
But just so you know, that journal is from the 60′s, and the current scholarly consensus no longer considers the spider etymology to be likely. We still aren’t sure where the name comes from, and probably won’t ever be, but I’ve seen quite a few more recent academics lean toward Old Norse luka, meaning “close”, “shut”, or “end.” (See Simek’s Dictionary of Northern Mythology.)
^^^^ my research found much the same. (which is sad, i like spiders)
As far as Sleipnir having eight legs, it’s probably a reference to Icelandic horses. Icelandic horses are one of the few horse breeds with five gaits. They can do a walk, trot and canter/gallop, like most horses. But they have also evolved to have a tolt,
[ gif of a man riding a brown Icelandic horse doing a tolt. The back legs of the horse move rather stiffly back and forth, while the front legs are lifted up almost to the horse’s chest. While the horse bounces slightly, the man riding the horse could probably hold a glass of water without spilling. ]
which is fast, smooth and noted for its explosive speed and ability to cover long distances.
The second unique gait is called flugskeið, or flying pace.
[ a light brown Icelandic horse demonstrating the flugskeið. With the exception of the wind in the horses’ mane, the upper part of the horse and the rider seem to almost be still, with the background simply zipping by them. The horse’s legs, however, move fast enough to blur. Unlike with a full gallop, the horse does not fully extend its legs away from its body. This is particularly obvious in the front legs of the horse, which lift up to the chest of the horse and land under its chin the same way as in the tolt]
It is both smooth and fast, some horses being able to reach speeds of 30 mph. Not all Icelandic horses can do a flugskeið, but you’ll notice that when done properly the legs move in unison and so fast they can blur, giving the illusion of the horse having eight legs.
Anyways, here is a video to further emphasize how cool the flugskeið is;
I’d never heard this theory! That’s so neat.
The one I’ve read attributed the eight legs thing to a metaphor of a coffin + 4 pallbearers.
This is FASCINATING, and I adore Sleipnir! 😍 @tinaferraldo
You’ve brought my horse geek out now. You have been warned!
The thing is, until the late 1800s we didn’t know how horses moved.
In old paintings you typically see horses with their legs stretched wide as they thought that gave the appearance of great speed.
But it really just looks like Timmy’s big brother was being an evil bastard and bent the legs of his tin horses out .
It’s completely unnatural looking, but horses moved too fast for us to be able to see how they moved, until Edward MAuybridge captured their motion in a series of consecutive photographs in 1878.
And for the first time we could see that all four legs did leave the ground. (and are never stretched uncomfortably wide!).
He also created the first motion picture as the individual photographs could be put together as a series of film frames (below).
So, all this is to say that back when Sleipnir was being dreamed up, they didn’t understand how animals moved and probably thought more legs = faster, and to a degree they were right, things on four legs run faster than bipeds so they continued that principle to its logical, if incorrect, conclusion.
THIS IS THE BEST HORSE MOVEMENT DISCOURSE EVER
or we can consider that norse epics were, above all else, poetry, and consider that the image of an eight-legged horse brings to mind a horse that moves like a spider – with that fast darting scuttle that so many people find terrifying. an alien horse. a divine horse. a monster.
(personally i find the spider run adorable, like when a cat gets startled and does the skitter. but i recognize this is an unusual reaction.)
So, inspired by the whole concept of a spider-horse I very loosely sketched this:
…To which my brother @foxofwar simply pointed out, that being a spider-horse, it’s a sporse.
Slightly off topic, but it isn’t unique to Norse mythology to give a magical horse unusual number of legs tho. In Hungarian folklore special horses (usually fond of eating cinders, capable of flying or running faster than the win or even faster than thoughts, usually liked to sass the hero of the tale) had 5, 6 or 7 legs.
Obviously those numbers were chosen because they held cultural significance (our dragons/giants had odd number of heads too), but it probably sounded like common sense that more legs=faster horse.
I have nothing to add but damn is this thread epic.
You’re an ancient Greek man coming home from 4 months of war to find your wife 3 months pregnant. Now you’ve embarked on a solemn quest: to punch Zeus in the face.
Soon after you begin your quest, you encounter another man in a similar situation. You decide to join forces, as two mortal men stand a better chance at punching Zeus than one.
Two villages over, you encounter a woman who had relations with Zeus and was left with a highly aggressive half-boar half-man offspring. She too feels your anger and offers to join your quest.
By the time you reach Mount Olympus, you’ve amassed a large and formidable army of cuckolded/ravished mortals, demigods with daddy issues, mythical creatures with scores to settle, and a seamstress who you’re pretty sure is Hera in disguise.