Odysseus spends like an hour in the bed section being aggressively cuddled by some strange drunk woman who fell on top of him while he was testing out mattresses and has too strong a grip for him to pull free
Meanwhile Penelope is sitting behind the checkout with the bed they bought eating ice cream with Telemachus and trying to ignore the pack of dudebro frat boys trying to hit on her
somebody should make a version of the very hungry caterpillar about achilles and call it the very angry achilles and it can be about all the people/things he fought
“on monday achilles fought one river, but he was still angry”
“on tuesday achilles pierced through two trojans, but he was still angry”
on wednesday achilles dragged hector around the walls three times, but he was still angry”
polyphemus: lmao im gonna eat these guys i found in my cave, and nobody can stop me
odysseus: well, you’re not wrong
Medusa and her blind boyfriend go out on their first date and he panics because he cant tell her she looks pretty so he says something really stupid like “I REALLY like snakes”
This is so fucking cute
this should be a young adult romance novel right now
The Oracle of Delphi goes up to the counter and orders a pumpkin spice latte. The barista ignores her order and tries to make what he wants (a peppermint hot chocolate). But the syrup pumps were switched by the night custodian, and he makes a pumpkin spice latte by mistake. It’s impossible to deny the oracle.
Kimchi and Justice 