this is eunotosaurus he is like turtle great great gr8 gr8 gr8 grandpa
him ribs big. then l8er u got later on there this dude who got big ribs 2
him name pappochelys we just found him
then those red things (they called gastralia) got real big n it make a plastron n u got the odontochelys
they got hard bellies n big ribs but shell doesn’t come for millions of years but then u got shell n u got proganochelys
he live with dinos he so lucky
shell happens to baby turtle because carapacial ridge goes over their shoulders instead of under wow
here is diagram of human and tortle skeleton after tortle has enslaved human and make him walk like dog for amusement
turtles might be cousins to either lepidosaurs (sneks, lizrds n tuatara) or archosaurs (crocs n birbs) but probably archosaurs turtles are probably related to birbs which is cool
i have a literal degree in zoology and my final capstone thesis was on turtle evolution and phylogeny so this isn’t misinfo buddy buster brown @vulpiximisa fear not
I’m going to preface this by saying that I am not actually responsible for pelicans and their multitude of weirdnesses, so I will be explaining on behalf of someone else, not myself. Just…. to clarify.
SO, PELICANS. They’ve actually got the longest beak length of any bird (not beak-to-body ratio, of course, because hummingbirds have got that one under control) and their gular pouch, as it is called, is not just a floppy sack to scoop dinner up with – it’s actually got a super complicated network of muscles spread throughout. Mainly to force water in or out while scooping up fish or whatever. Like any functional body part, periodic stretching and moving of the muscles and skin is needed to keep it in excellent working order.
tl;dr this pelican is doing pelican yoga before going out and wreaking havoc
why the fuck have we not domesticated raccoons on a larger scale like what the fuck are we doing they’re little dogcats with people hands and fat tummies like what the fuck guys why don’t we have them as pets why do we let their kind just rummage around in our trash they deserve better than our trash
they are very cue but rather Violent aren’t they??
OKAY BUT WERE WOLVES NOT VIOLENT AND LOOK WHAT WE DID TO THEM WE TURNED THEM INTO FUCKING PUGS
Legends say that hummingbirds float free of time, carrying our hopes
for love, joy and celebration. Like a hummingbird, we aspire to hover
and savor each moment as it passes; embrace all that life has to offer
and to celebrate the joy of every day. The hummingbird’s delicate
grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, every
personal connection has meaning and that laughter is life’s sweetest
creation. –Papyrus
I…Ah…hmm.
Look, it’s a great photo. The photographer kicked butt. They should be very proud of this photo.
But hummingbirds are not carrying your hopes for joy around. I am sorry. Have you met hummingbirds? Hummingbirds believe strongly that they should be eighteen feet tall and have flamethrowers. They are a half ton of pugnacious wrapped up in a half ounce of feathers. Given the choice, hummingbirds would fly around with “Ride of the Valkyries” blasting out of tiny speakers on their wings, putting the eyes out of their enemies.
They do not fear humans, but if they learn that humans will provide feeders, they will become very demanding. They are fiercely territorial. They are…kind of jerks, actually.
Also, there are papers indicating that female hummingbirds engage in what can only be termed “nectar-based prostitution” where they trade sexual favors to males in return for access to particularly rich nectar sources.
If your hopes for love involve nectar and your hopes for joy involve crushing your foes, seeing them driven before you, hearing the lamentations of their nestlings, etc, then possibly the hummingbird may carry them around, otherwise…uh…have you considered vultures? Vultures are very pleasant, affectionate, and social birds. You should probably give them your hopes and dreams. They would be better at it.
Did I mention it’s a great photo?
VULTURES, NOW.
this is Jack.
Jack (full name: Jack Sparrow) lives at the Hawk Conservancy. (He’s missing some toes because he was rescued from Vulture Smugglers.)
When you interact with Jack, you can tell he’s at about the level of … something between a ferret and a dog. Funny short little attention span, and a weird face to look at, but a human reads him as curious, friendly and interested in people.
When you meet a working vulture, you realize that they are definitely a wild predatory animal and very instinctive, but with a
consciousness that extends to interest in their surroundings; like, he’s
very much focused on THE SNACK, but before and after the SNACKTIME he
also wants to have a chat about your day and look at your face and peer into your camera and ask to look at the pictures you took and then say “hey now take one where I’m doing duckface” and you’re like “ok Jack go ahead”
Contrast with owls, which are typically pretty, but which are basically as interactive as a pop-up ad. They exist to land on things and eat them. They are not complicated. Vultures are hey-whatcha-doin. They’re yeah I’m a psychopomp but my real hobby is DJ-ing. They’d like to couchsurf next time they’re in town. You’d let them.
I would give Jack my dreams to carry. He would hold them well, in his big black lovely inky eyes, in his broken gentle feet.
imagine a crocodile with horse-like legs… unstoppable… i would love to ride one o’ those into battle
are you..high
….carry on
Fun fact these ‘crocodile cousins’ with ‘horse-like legs’ existed and was known as a ‘sabre-toothed cat in armour’ due to it’s speed out of water and long fangs. There was the ‘DogCroc’ ( Araripesuchus wegeneri) and ‘BoarCroc’ (Kaprosuchus). The DogCroc (featured above) was only around the size of a small dog, with its skull easily fitting into the palm of someones hand. It lived during the Lower Cretaceous-Upper Cretaceous period;
*Comparison of a DogCroc’s skull to a Sarcosuchus skull. (Sarcosuchus is the largest known crocodile species and was large enough it could even prey upon a T-Rex and could weigh up to ten tonnes and be over forty feet long.)
However the BoarCroc (Kaprosuchus) was twenty-foot long and could gallop across land and preyed upon dinosaurs.
I wonder what their metabolisms were like… and how long could they sustain that gallop for?
Crocs are the most fascinating animal group in history. What we have today is positively boring compared to how experimental this group has been in the past. In addition to the “dog croc,” there were also arboreal crocodiles. That means they lived IN TREES. There was one species that was the size of a whale and lived almost, if not entirely at sea. But, like most whales it was a filter feeder, and not a killer. Crocodiliforms are magic.
don’t try to tell me otter facts i already know all of them. yes i know otters hold hands. yes i know they keep special rocks. yes i know they use their bellies as tiny tables. i know it all
Oh I hear you Sea otters get all the love and get all their facts spilled all the time.
But do you know about otters big asshole brother? In South America there are Giant Otters. These are six foot long tubes of muscle who give less fucks then a honey badger. They are Apex predators and very, very good hunters.
They are known for stealing food from gators. They eat small caiman and friggin anaconda if they venture too close because why the hell not. They also eat Piranha because they fear nothing and consume the weak. They are attracted to watermelon (there are stories of them stealing them out of gardens) Which is weird as heck because they apparently hate the taste.
Best part. They hunt in packs. These guys are bamf.
No Fucks given
Fight me bro
Giant fucking otters
RODENTS OF UNUSUAL SIZE
I first heard about giant otters in a Kresley Cole book (paranormal romance), and I thought they were interesting so I looked them up and was ASTOUNDED that they were real. Like, not just “used to be” like dinosaurs, but “currently living” real.
You wasted an opportunity to show the faces they make when they eat watermelon. They obv hate it, they CRY and GRIMACE, and yet they keep eating. Let me fix your mistake for you.
I wanna know what drives them to eat something they find so unappealing. What do watermelons have that they crave??
It’s their blood price for being so fuckin awesome. They must consume that which they hate.
Ambulocetus beatnikii knew he was the heppest of the transitional forms.
——————
A very very quick silliness. Ambulocetus was an ancestral walking whale, and actually probably looked more like some kind of mutant Death Otter, but I was goin’ for cute. (Not that death otters wouldn’t be cute.)
Oh, like YOU never get the urge to draw transitional stages of whale evolution, only pudgy, with a beret… – Ursula Vernon
A Russian zoo is home to a unique animal – the liger. It is half-lioness, half-tiger. Mother Zita is pictured licking her one month old liliger cub
I DON’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU CALL IT LOOK AT HER HAPPY LITTLE FACE IN THE LAST PICTURES SHE’S SO PROUD OF HER LIL CUB AND HER SPOTS AND SHE’S GOTTA BE TOUGH MOMMA WHEN THE BABY’S LOOKING BUT AS SOON AS THEY TURN AROUND, SHE’S LIKE,
“:3 Look at it. I made a thing. I made a rly good thing. :3”
it’s actually more amazing than that
hybrids are sterile, they can’t have babies – but she did
Kimchi and Justice 