YMCA but instead of young man they say comrade and YMCA is USSR
comrade, steel production is down/i said comrade, you must sleep on the ground
Tag: omfg
can you imagine how f***ing relieved the french must have been when we reached the year 2000?
they went from having to say “mille neuf cents quatre-vingt-dix-neuf” to just having to say “deux mille” to say the year
I personally avoid talking about anything that happened before 2000 for that very reason…
Seriously at this point I refer to anything that happened pre-2000 as “Quand j’étais jeune”
would you mind expanding on the “burr had a imaginary secret wife” thing because I feel like this is important burr info I’m missing out on
YES
ok
so
THE SAGA
When Burr was around 17-19 (this is according to Isenburg so it might not have played out like she made it sound) and was living with a preacher’s family in Connecticut studying to be a preacher, one day somebody congratulated him on getting married. It confused him because, as he tried to explain, he wasn’t married. They basically assured him that his secret was safe, refused to believe his denials, and then continued to spread the rumor that tiny Burr had secretly married a very pretty very rich lady. The rumor got a lot of traction, and it seemed like no matter what he did he couldn’t convince people that it wasn’t true. It got so bad that some dude actually tried to duel him for the alleged Mrs. Burr’s honor, because they thought the lady needed defending from a husband who would so insult her by denying her existence. Thankfully the war broke out and then everyone had more important things to deal with than Aaron Burr’s imaginary secret wife.
Being gay is natural? Okay.
You have three islands. Divide them into groups of one. The straight island, the gay island, and the lesbian island. The straight island is going to reproduce and keep going strong for millions of generations to come. The gay and lesbian islands will both wipe out in not even one century. This isn’t just about religion or morals, it’s just simple common sense. Being gay is unnatural, and not just because God said so, but because you yourself wouldn’t even be born without a REAL natural man and woman. And no, there is no such thing as a lesbian bone marrow “thing” to have children. That’s a biased fact that came from a lesbian scientist who has false opinions. If it’s not a real penis or vagina, then it’s fucking false and you’re just opinionated by dumb facts. I’m done here. Read over what I said and if you still think that being gay is normal and natural, then I hope you achieve some common sense one day. Bye
Where is this gay island located.. asking for a friend
I just have SO MANY questions. Why were we all separated onto different islands? Did the government sanction this? If so, why? Why didn’t we revolt against this tyrannical government? Where are these islands? How were they chosen? Are the continents of the world abandoned? What kind of resources are on each island? Are they the same or different? Does each island have a right to form its own government or does the government that segregated us still rule? If so, what island do they rule from and how do they communicate with the other two islands? If they can communicate with the other two islands, can all three islands communicate with each other? If the straight people keep reproducing, won’t their island become overpopulated and their resources depleted? Islands only have so much space right? Do straight people stop having gay kids? Isn’t it a fact that, to date, straight people are the largest manufacturers of gay kids? If a gay kid is born on straight island, do they get sent to their appropriate island? Wouldn’t that aid in the re-population of gay and lesbian island? What about people who are attracted to more than one gender? Are they just lost at sea, floating aimlessly? Is the ocean full of listless pansexuals, floating nowhere? Or are they trapped in some sort of purgatory because they don’t fit on any one island? Are there trees on lesbian island? Is it conceivable that if there were, a large group of lesbians could build a boat? Have you ever seen lesbians around timber? If they built a boat, could they travel to gay island? How far apart are the islands? If they could travel to gay island, would they be able to collect semen, return to lesbian island, and repopulate the island? Would they be able to send some of those children to gay island? Do trans people exist in this world? If so, wouldn’t they be able to aid in repopulation? If the lesbians decided to declare war on the heterosexuals, would they be able to reach their island? On the way to heterosexual island, could the lesbians pick up the gays and scoop the floating bisexuals from the sea? If so, would they all be able to go and attack heterosexual island together, wiping out its people’s, stealing its children and taking all its resources? Does this fantasy world get you off at night? Please write back soon!
Speaking up from the pansexual archipelago: I too have these questions
Checking in from bisexual bay: The boats are nearly complete and are equipped with a special invisibility function. We attack at dawn
Fuck the questions, lemme on that boat, I’m coming with you
*random ace just floating away into the sky like a balloon*
I am so here for an asexual sky nation. We live in floating cities and master the wind currents. Newly minted ace youths are sent up to us in baskets suspended under hot air balloons. We breed giant birds to bear us through the skies, or else build ourselves wings and gliders to fly in their midst. The only land we know are the tallest mountain peaks and the world is a bright blue gem spreading out beneath us.
(And we will of course be providing air support for the impending attack on Straight Island)
OP’s nasty-ass post got turned into a goddamn sci-fi dystopian adventure and I’m so here for it.
oh my god Bisexual Buccaneers from Both-Ways Bay is both a porn tile and my new life goals
i’m an asexual homoromantic does this make me our young heroine torn between worlds
You spend part of your time on lesbian island, learning the stories, and traditions, and part of your time in the vast floating asexual cities, training with your eagle so that you can one day become one of the chosen few: the messengers, who carry letters and passengers between islands, jumping the heterosexual blockades. When you enter this select group, you’re assigned the job of collecting reports from spies pretending to heterosexual on straight island, flying in at the dead of night, risking discovery to collect vital intelligence. You fall in love with a pansexual girl who’s chosen to hide her orientation so she can aid the Resistance. At the climax of the novel, you swoop down from above on your giant eagle to rescue your lady love from a frenzied mob. As straight island burns in the background, you share a chaste kiss and cuddle while discussing the possibility of a mountain-top pansexual outpost.
IT CAME BACK AROUND AND IT GOT BETTER!
some highlights from the library while i was doing poe research
is poe poe poe poe poe poe poe hoffman like duck duck goose

be he stronge? list ye, budde
he hath straunge chymerical blod!
swyngeth he from a thred?
cast thine eyn ouverhedde
god wot! anon cometh spydere man
spydere man spydere man
oure frende and neighebor, spydere man
ne weolthe nor laudès hath he
in fyȝten is he most merrye
swounds!!!
at-gangen spydere man

Omfg drinking wine is too feminine for you that you gotta call it “brosé” grow up
i can’t believe this nonsense
Manscato
Penis Grigio
Cabronet
Mangria.
Sauvmengnon Blanc
Chardonotgay
Nohomoscadet
this is a book
and people say there’s no modern great american novel
@ jumblr
making lists for the moon colony now.
I’m in.
Pls
Me!
The moon needs some kinky Sephardim like me and @ariminak !
Is it possible to convert on the moon or will I have to convert before joining the colony?
oh heck, there’s a thought. how’re we going about building our mikveh? i’d advise finalising your conversion on earth for simplicity’s sake but this needs serious consideration. we might need to rethink some thinks. martian colony, perhaps?
there’s water on neptune, right? just build a really really long pipe. foolproof.
Greek/Roman mythology is not a good reference for trying to determine whether there is water on a planet. I volunteer to open up the chabad house in the colony… Because, you know, wherever jews live, there has to be a chabad house.
How about we build an atmosphere (this is important!) and divert some comets so that they’ll burn up in it, and thus we’ll end up with rainwater, and eventually mikvehs won’t be a difficult problem?
Or am I missing something in the requirements? After all, if we can build mikveh in big cities, I’m sure we can find a way on the Moon or Mars. Mars might be easier though (for this particular issue)…
The question of the century : is artificially generated rainfall in a biodome considered rainfall or mayim shuvim…?
Well, let’s start simpler. What about rainfall from cloud seeding? That may have come up somewhere and seems like a solid precedent.
Do not fear brave Zionists:
http://guilt-a-fish.tumblr.com/post/132486432224/the-mikvah-must-contain-a-minimum-of-two-hundred
I’m having one of those “I really love Jews” moments
The goyim think that biblical law is old and busted. And we’re debating how you would mikvah on the moon. RIBONO SHEL OLAM LOOK AT YOUR PEOPLE! EVEN IF THEY GET DRIVEN OFF THE PLANET EARTH THEY’LL STILL FIND A WAY TO KEEP YOUR MITZVOS!
In other news, how would kiddush levana work?
Does it depend on which celestial body we end up on? Do we definitely have to bless this moon? If we ended up on Jupiter would we have to bless all 67 because I’m not sure how we’d ever have time to get anything else done?
I’m in for the moon colony. Quick question though which astronaut are we designating as our sell Matzah to/Shabbat goy?
Also does this mean we are going to be building a Noah Ark type thing to bring kosher animals to the moon because if so that is fucken awesome.
since taking physical animals to the moon would require a lot of fuel and resources, would bioengineered meat be considered kosher? because that would take a lot less fuel to get to the moon
We will definitely need to at least farm-raise salmon though. Ashkenazi survival is actually totally dependent on if there is bagel & lox available.
Which minhag would hold sway – would it depend on local population majority, or geosynchronous location vis-a-vis the original Earthbound populations? Like, if the moon is closer to Earth’s magnetic north, we’d use the Ashkenazi minhag, but if we were east of magnetic north (again from a Terran geo-standard) the Mizrahi minhag would be followed?
Is the Lunershul LGBT friendly?
Asking for a friend.
OK, so a lot of friends ready to leave the planet. Some may be very willing to put in time as a shabbes goy/ chameitz broker.












