So what I’m getting from this is that French romantic poets really identified with Leda in that they, too, wanted to fuck swans. I’m not even surprised.
Quick Guide to Potential Love Interests in French Romanticism:
-Is it alive?
-Was it alive once?
– Is it Nature?
– Is it Architecture?If the answer to any or all of these is yes, then Congratulations! There is a poem about making out with it somewhere in French Romanticism.
IMPORTANT EXCEPTION:
Is it Neoclassical and/or The Bourgeoisie? Then DO NOT LICK. Do Not! You will start wearing your collar high and dressing appropriately for your station and then all is lost.Does Gautier’s Tapestry Lady count as Once Being Alive? Or is there a separate category for Classically Themed Works of Art?
You are right and I was already regretting my incomplete questionnaire
it should really be phrased as “ if the answer to any or all of these is Yes, or, indeed, No” , there is a poem and/or you should make out with it!
I forgive myself on the point of Art only because, come on, surely you’ve already made out with the art. You don’t need to be told to do that, right? Come on, friend, DO YOU EVEN LANGUISH.
(still don’t lick the Bourgeoisie or the Neoclassical. They have Respectability Cooties.)
They really wanted to fuck The Sublime/heroin
(not heroines. they were pretty lukewarm on ladies.)
Tag: omg
i like when you’re in the grocery store and you see people buying eggs because they always pick up the carton and then open it like it’s a metal briefcase full of cash involved in a drug deal and they’re confirming it’s money. “don’t bother counting it, it’s all there. 12.” then they always pick one up and inspect it like, “yeah, it’s grade A alright…the real deal.”
People are checking to see if any of the eggs are cracked you walnut
You get home with a case full of cracked eggs once and have to deal with the resulting mess in your grocery bags, and, trust me, you’ll start checking the eggs every time too.
“Sure you say it’s all there, but I been taken by a case of cracked eggs before. I don’t hand over the cash before I get a good look at the merchandise.”
new genre: grocery noir
Now you’ve done it. You invoked the words.
“I knew there was trouble as soon as I hit the floor. On a good day, the market is a thin veneer of friendliness concealing a pit of darkness. The dairy section is full of spoiled brats. The produce tries hard, but it’s impossible to eliminate the rot…and you know what they say about one bad apple. The eggs are cracked and broken, and all the King’s horses and all the King’s men couldn’t fix them.
I’ve been here a long time. I’ve learned to read the market as I walk the aisles. Smell the mood in the bakery section, feel the little things in the way the cookies crumble. The deli is a bellwether for the whole prepared foods section, if you know how to separate the good stuff from the gristle. But today, everything was silent.
The only thing worse than the market in full swing was the market in no swing. Something big was coming down.
I turned to my partner. Fresh out of Academy training, still wet behind the ears –or maybe he just walked too close to the misting sprays. ‘Trouble, kid,’ I said, taking a bite of the carrot stick dangling in my mouth.”
The Malted-Milk Falcon, or Double Coupon Indemnity, or The Big Sale.
i feel like i just opened a carton of eggs and found eleven eggs and one bullet casing
Never forget that chainsaws were invented to aid in childbirth.
what
GATHER ROUND, FRIENDS, IT’S TIME FOR HISTORY
In 1830 a German doctor by the name of Bernhard Heine created a small, hand-cranked chainsaw called the osteotome. It was used for symphysiotomy, a procedure in which the cartilage of the pubic bone is cut to widen the pelvis to help deliver babies.
In conclusion, vaginal chainsaws.
A perfect duet.
lets just be clear, if you spend the time baking a cake/cookies/brownies, you can eat as many of them as you want and the calories don’t count. you made those calories. you’re their god.
disclaimer: this does not apply to children you have made
looking at you Kronos
Dumbing of Age: the faces
Kimchi and Justice 