Amidst the high Ramtops
All covered in bees
She vanquished the elf-queen
Cos she was covered…in…beeeeeeeees
Tag: pterry would be proud
Discworld Politics
Vetinari: You have two cows. You convince them they will better off with you alive and in control than not.
Sam Vimes: You have two cows. They are probably guilty of something. Loitering, probably.
Young Sam: Where are your cows? Those goes “baah.” Those are sheep. They are not your cows.
Moist von Lipwig: You steal two cows. You convince everyone they are made of gold and sell them for a fortune. You get arrested and become Minister of Agriculture.
Tiffany Aching: You have two cows. An elf tries to steal them and you hit it with a frying pan.
Nac Mac Feegle: Someone has two cows. You steal them, then fight them, then fight yourself. You win.
Rincewind: You run away from cows.
Unseen University: You have two cows. One is caught up in a magical accident and is now a chair. The other has become a professor.
Sybil Ramkin: You have many cows. They aren’t dragons, so you don’t care. You have 37 dragons.
Nanny Ogg: You have a cow and a bull. You enjoy explaining how they will make more cows.
Granny Weatherwax: You wish Gytha would stop explaining how you get cows.
King Verence: You try to create an economic plan for your country based on bovine products; your people are too busy listening to Nanny Ogg.
On the first day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:
Albert dressed as a pixie
On the second day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:
Two unhelpful hints,
and Albert dressed as a pixie
On the third day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:
Three dangerous presents,
Two unhelpful hints,
and Albert dressed as a pixie
On the fourth day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:
Four brand-new gods
Three dangerous presents,
Two unhelpful hints,
and Albert dressed as a pixie
On the fifth day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:
Fiiiiive Auditooooooors
Four brand-new gods
Three dangerous presents,
Two unhelpful hints,
and Albert dressed as a pixie
On the sixth day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:
Six Assassins scheming
Fiiiiive Auditooooooors
Four brand-new gods
Three dangerous presents,
Two unhelpful hints,
and Albert dressed as a pixie
On the seventh day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:
Seven cures for hangovers
Six Assassins scheming
Fiiiiive Auditooooooors
Four brand-new gods
Three dangerous presents,
Two unhelpful hints,
and Albert dressed as a pixie
On the eight day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:
Eight Wizards feasting
Seven cures for hangovers
Six Assassins scheming
Fiiiiive Auditooooooors
Four brand-new gods
Three dangerous presents,
Two unhelpful hints,
and Albert dressed as a pixie
On the ninth day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:
Nine guards a-dying
Eight Wizards feasting
Seven cures for hangovers
Six Assassins scheming
Fiiiiive Auditooooooors
Four brand-new gods
Three dangerous presents,
Two unhelpful hints,
and Albert dressed as a pixie
On the tenth day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:
Ten thousand pork pies*
Nine guards a-dying
Eight Wizards feasting
Seven cures for hangovers
Six Assassins scheming
Fiiiiive Auditooooooors
Four brand-new gods
Three dangerous presents,
Two unhelpful hints,
and Albert dressed as a pixie
*and a turnip that was pork pie shaped.
On the eleventh day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:
Eleven nightmares scaring
Ten thousand pork pies*
Nine guards a-dying
Eight Wizards feasting
Seven cures for hangovers
Six Assassins scheming
Fiiiiive Auditooooooors
Four brand-new gods
Three dangerous presents,
Two unhelpful hints,
and Albert dressed as a pixie
*and a turnip that was pork pie shaped.
On the twelfth day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:
+++ A Twelve Ram Skull Processor +++
Eleven nightmares scaring
Ten thousand pork pies*
Nine guards a-dying
Eight Wizards feasting
Seven cures for hangovers
Six Assassins scheming
Fiiiiive Auditooooooors
Four brand-new gods
Three dangerous presents,
Two unhelpful hints,
and Albert dressed as a pixie
*and a turnip that was pork pie shaped.
Lady Sybil Vimes (née Ramkin) Duchess of Ankh
If you don’t think Lady Sybil is absolutely wonderful and perfect then I don’t even know what to say to you
- Lady Sybil who breeds swamp dragons in her spare time
- Lady Sybil who once faced down a dragon the size of a street by scolding it firmly
- Lady Sybil who sang part of a dwarf opera from memory in order to diffuse a sticky political situation
- Lady Sybil who, when kidnapped by werewolves, escaped out of the window and belted one of them around the head with a log…while pregnant
- Lady Sybil who darns her husbands socks personally, despite the fact that she is rich enough to buy a new pair every day for the rest of their lives if need be
- Lady Sybil, founder of The Sunshine Sanctuary for Sick Dragons AND The Lady Sybil Free Hospital, one of the few hospitals where people actually come out alive
- Lady Sybil who has friends and connections around the world and is on a first name basis with Lord Vetinari
- Lady Sybil who is one of the kindest, most compassionate, most open-minded characters in the Discworld series, who is endlessly patient and reasonable, who shows tremendous courage in the face of danger, who treats everyone she meets as a equal despite her privileged upbringing and who never compromises her principles or deserts those in need
- Lady Sybil ❤
enigmaticagentalice’s tags: she’s such an unusual character in fiction she’s not some badass sword wielding warrior chick or some plucky adventurous girl or a sexy manipulative ice queen but she’s genuinely one of the strongest female characters I know and I will not hear a word against her
Seconded, thirded, and fourthed
Fear is strange soil. Mainly it grows obedience like corn, which grows in rows and makes weeding easy. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground.
on fear | Terry Pratchett, Small Gods
(via discworldtour)
(via discworldtour)
Inktober day 26 is a farm witch, who of course had to be Tiffany Aching- the original farm witch and all around role model.
If you can’t say anything nice¹
_____
¹Say it in a footnote
beloved sir Terry Pratchett
”If you trust in yourself..and believe in your dreams…and follow your star…you’ll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren’t so lazy.”
You: Wet Moustache
Me, an intellectual: Moist von Lipwig
Kimchi and Justice 