my favorite thing about Corporal Carrot is that he’s a romantic hero plopped right in the middle of the greediest cesspit of a chaotic neutral city ever to debase the pages of literature, and yet instead of having his shining idealism destroyed by an uncaring reality, he makes reality embarrassedly put down the weapons and agree to make nice, and then mutter an awkward “Good morning” whenever it passes him on the street.
Tag: pterry would be proud
vampires always like “i could kill you if I wanted” like? yeah? so could another human being. so could a dog. so could a dedicated duck. you arent special
–Agnes, probably
King Rhys of the dwarfs presented a dress of brimstoned rubber and leather to Lady Margolotta six months ago…
So says Nutt in Unseen Academicals, …and isn’t that just the most un-Margolotta dress imaginable? What if Margolotta and Rhys, as two women in power who both transgress the traditions of the institutions they govern, have a tradition of sending each other outrageously OOC and stereotypical gifts? Rhys has a cabinet full of beer jars made of gold, Margolotta has a closet full of black dresses in varying degrees of vampishness, and of course they can’t just throw them out or accidentally stuff them in a lit chimney or drop them into a river because politics (via ironhammer)
#every year the gifts get worse#it’s a race to see who chickens out of it first#one time a traditionalist grag congratulated rhys on her excellent beer jar collection#‘it is so good to see you embrace tradition again’#that’s when margolotta got the rubber and leather one in the mail#‘bite /this/’ mutters rhys under her breath#margolotta’s ears start ringing just as she’s finishing a smallish-dog-sized pink sweater with bobbles#(which will mysteriously get lost in the mail in hushed-up circumstances within 5km of the patrician’s palace) (via OP)
Not technically a quote, nor technically incorrect, but I feel like this belongs here because this is the kind of content I will cut me own throat to bring to you.
(via incorrectdiscworldquotes)
i love that charles dickens got paid by the word. like i cant even be mad when he’s boring and long-winded bc i would do xactly the same??? i wouldnt use contractions or colours at all. want to say the word red? too bad. we r now only using “the colour of freshly-spilled blood on snow; the hue of the horizon when the sun sets over the deserts of sub-saharan Africa” BOOM guess who can afford 2 eat now: me and my boi dickens
What I love about Alexandre Dumas, in contrast, is he got paid by the line. So it’s not really wordy, it more like 80% dialogue which makes it sound pretty modern but also ends up like-
“Where are we going now?”
“We are going to the city.”
“Which city?”
“Paris.”
“We are going to Paris?”
“Yes.”
# can you imagine the kind of extended torture we would have been subject to if victor hugo had been paid by the pun (via vlajean)
So was Nabokov paid by the literary/cultural reference? That’s what I want to know.
Terry Pratchett was paid by the pun and by the footnote
Prompt: I was the blunt instrument they chose to use when tact failed.
Image Source: Patryk Dziejma via stocksnap.io
“I was the blunt instrument they chose to use when tact failed.” -Sam Vimes probably.
moodboard: cheery littlebottom for @celestialsorceren
then cheery littlebottom had arrived in ankh-morpork and had seen that there were men out there who did not wear chain mail or leather underwear, but did wear interesting colors and exciting makeup, and these men were called “women.”
Every time I recommend Discworld to someone, I get asked “where should I start?” There are several reading order guides floating around the internet, but they just give the order of each series, they don’t give you any information on which to base a choice of starter novel. For that, use this handy
(and very biased, okay, I admit it)flow chart!For everyone one who has been asking ME where to start (I’m sorry I don’t reply to you all I get asked this so often) this is an exceedingly good chart.
Witches When Faced with an Antagonist
New Witch: I’ll do a spell to make them go away. First I need twelve candles, three kinds of crystals, five different herbs, and when’s the next full moon?
Intermediate Witch: Eh, how’s one candle and a mushroom I found in my pocket for a curse? It goes “I hate you please die.”
Experienced Witch: Probably faster just to tell them to fuck off.
magrat
nanny ogg
granny weatherwax
This might be the best response I’ve seen to this post yet.
100% true response is true.
Kimchi and Justice 