youngbloodbuzz:

letsmakeloaf:

usbdongle:

fun game: replace a single word in an idiom with “fuck”

examples:
– go fuck a kite
– no sense fucking a dead horse
– don’t count your chickens before they fuck
– they don’t have two coins to fuck together

#gotta fuck a few eggs to make an omelet#don’t fuck a gift lion in the mouth#time fucks all wounds

#a fuck in the hand is worth two in the bush#people who live in glass houses should not fuck stones#if you want something done right you have to fuck it yourself#a fish always fucks from the head down#a golden fuck can open any door#a poor workman always fucks his tools#don’t teach your grandma to fuck eggs#OH CHRIST I NEED TO STOP

isacknewton:

isacknewton:

WHY CAN’T SHEEP BE THE PLURAL OF SHOOP INSTEAD LIKE GOOSE AND GEESE 

he got really mad cause he likes shoop better

clatterbane:

meridok:

fierceawakening:

mercurialmalcontent:

doctordischordia:

plaidandredlipstick:

kernezelda:

lachatblanche:

little-fleur:

crumplelush:

entomancy:

stammsternenstaub:

unreliablefairyservant:

samfuckingvimes:

therainbowbandit:

The breadsticks thing to me is hilarious
I think it must be another Europe/America thing bc my whole life ‘breadsticks’ have been these hard crunchy thin stick things you buy them at the supermarket and it says breadsticks on the box
Never in my life has anyone around me referred to an actual stick of bread as a breadstick lmao
But then we don’t have Olive Garden either

wait, that’s not what they’re talking about?

Are you telling me this meme is not about grissini? My life is a lie!

WHAT

I… did wonder why there would be such a focus on going to somewhere with unlimited dry wheat twigs.  Googling ‘olive garden breadsticks’ does seem to suggest a tastier thing.

Huh.

this changes everything

I mean, I thought it was odd that they everyone was so excited about breadsticks… but then I thought, well, it’s America…

Wait they’re talking about actual bread???

grissini:

breadsticks:

I’VE BEEN LAUGHING FOR A MILLION YEARS

WAIT YOU’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT JAMMING BAGUETTES INTO YOUR BAG THE WHOLE TIME WHAT

Additional funny thing about this: baguettes are actually bigger than breadsticks! Breadsticks are small enough you can eat like three or four on your own/ could in fact jam them into a decently sized purse.

But now there are a bunch of people thinking Americans eat entire baguettes per person as appetizers. XD

I was reading this whole thing like “but baguettes are enormous! Do Europeans go around eating whole baguettes?”

Breadsticks are small. And warm. They are an appetizer. The meme is basically saying that you ask your date what they think of something that matters to you, you don’t like their answer, so you stuff some of the appetizer in your bag for later and leave .

LOL oh dear yeah that picture really doesn’t give a good sense of scale. This picture might help:

Definitely not an entire baguette lmao.

Yeah, most places will actually take the dough for a pizza crust, and turn it into about 10 soft breadsticks. If not 12. (I used to work somewhere that made them.)