magister-amoris:

calyxofawildflower:

calyxofawildflower:

Hey let’s destroy the pernicious myth that preteens were regularly marrying in medieval and early modern Europe and were having children as young teenagers. It’s just not true. Church records show the typical age people got married was around 18-23. Sure, around a third of brides were pregnant at the time of their marriage, but premarital sex was actually completely fine in medieval and early modern Europe if the couple intended to marry. (Oh look! Another historical fact the Victorian period completely mangled!)

Very young girls were not having babies in medieval times, people. The only people who ever bring this non-fact up are paedophiles looking to defend their dangerous paraphilia. So cut it out. Stop spreading this myth. It’s not historical, it’s not factual, it’s not true.

By the way the texts in support of these facts are here and here.

“Emerging evidence is eroding the stereotype of medieval child marriage. Goldberg and Smith’s work on low- and lower-middle-status women has refuted Hajnal’s argument for generally early marriage for medieval women. Even Razi’s ‘early’ age at marriage for girls in Halesowen hardly indicates child marriage, as a large portion of his sample married between the ages of eighteen and twenty-two… .  Goldberg has offered evidence from fourteenth and fifteenth-century Yorkshire showing that urban girls tended to marry  in their early to mid twenties and rural girls married in their late teens to early twenties, and both groups married men who were close to them in age.” (Kim M. Phillips, Medieval Maidens: Young Women and Gender in England, c. 1270-1540, p. 37 (x).

Bolded for emphasis.

As far as i can recall, the only instances of child marriages in the Middle Ages i ever remember reading about were amongst the nobility, where marriages were arranged for political advantage over any other consideration. (And even in those cases, contracts frequently specifically stated that the marriage was not to be consummated for several years.)
I think a lot of the problem in conceptions comes from the way history has often been written. It’s only relatively recently that the “common people” have been considered worthy of consideration when writing history – for a lot of the span between the Middle Ages and now, history was basically a genealogy of rulers ( in the words of Barbara Tuchman). the concerns of the lower classes were basically ignored – and a side effect of this is that the habits of the documented group are assumed to be representative of all groups. So, yeah, child marriages existed – but they existed among a tiny minority of the population whose daily lives and concerns were wildly different from those of everyone else.

theproblematicpetticoat:

annathecrow:

ednapontellier:

allthewaytonopetopia:

bee-cubed:

bee-cubed:

This comes up because a male friend is posting on Facebook about all the things he’s introducing his new girlfriend to. She’s “gee whiz” about everything, and very wide-eyed, but all I can think is, “man, you two have nothing in common, do you”. 

And it’s always the guy bringing the girl into *their* world. Not vice versa. They don’t ever enter the woman’s world. They usually hang out with *his* friends, and he introduces her to *his* hobbies. In some ways, it often works out better than if he found a woman from his own social group, because the “golly gee whiz” wide eyed stranger is never, ever going to be competition. She’s never going to ever threaten the guy’s status as alpha geek/sports fan/etc.

I don’t think heterosexuals are even aware that they do this. These are some of the most “feminist ally” identified guys I’ve known. They’re not self-aware enough to recognize how gendered the dynamics in their relationships are. 

omg why is this viralling

cause it’s true?

I hate to be the person who adds their own stuff to a post but like, this is exactly what happened to me with my first real boyfriend. Like I didn’t notice it when I was in the situation, but looking back it’s exactly like the post describes it. Not to mention he was exactly the type of guy to self identify as a feminist and was very proud of the fact.

It was really very easy for him to make me believe or at least feel like he was the authority on most things and we always did things he was into (it didn’t help that I was 15/16 at the time and he was 18/19 but that’s a whole other list of issues.) He never took any real interest in my hobbies or passions but would get insulted when I wasn’t interested in investing my time in things he wanted to do. It wasn’t until a really long time after we broke up that I started seeing just how many things were unhealthy in that relationship. 

And like, if you’re a straight girl and you’re dating guys that’s unfortunately one of the many things you have to look out for. Very few people will point stuff like this out to you, they probably don’t see it themselves cause it’s so accepted and normalized. So many men are used to the world revolving around them that they don’t question that their partner should also become part of their niche. If you’re taking an interesting in his life and hobbies he should be taking an equal interest in yours. More often than not you’ll have to demand it from them and if they object to it you need to walk the fuck away from that relationship imo. 

The thing interesting on this dynamic is, this is the one socially sanctioned moment when girl is allowed (even encouraged!) to be interested in masculine hobbies. Nobody motivates girls to be into football or fishing on their own, and when they do they’re seen as strange exceptions. But when their bf is into those things, it’s celebrated as ideal girlfriend behavior. But there is also the implication that she isn’t REALLY interested, she’s just following. She isn’t in it for herself – otherwise she would be a competition and we can’t have that.

But then God help them from then onwards because even if they actually do have a genuine interest in these things they’ll be forever branded a Fake Geek Girl who is Only Doing It to Impress Guys and the Circle of Bullshit continues to move us all.

A friend of mine asked me whether the Global Autism Project was “pernicious or benign” and I haven’t actually heard of it. Are they a worthwhile enterprise?

tropesarenotbad:

autisticadvocacy:

I’m sorry asker, I’ve never heard of them.

Upon googling:

– Puzzle pieces in logo
– Staff members advocate ABA therapy/one staff member is straight up Bobby Newman, who wrote a book on ABA
– Does not appear that a single member of the staff is autistic
– They seem to work with local centres to destigmatize autism
– They advocate for early intervention

I think that while they seem half decent, the ABA therapy is a huge deal breaker for me.

Thanks! I’ll pass that along.

thelilnan:

the-time-goddess-of-221b:

Who’s ready to hear the best joke ever? Ok *clears throat*

A rich snail goes into a car shop, picks out a super fast car, and says “I want a big S painted on the right side, the left side, the front, the back, I want big S’s everywhere.” And the car painter asks “Why?” And the snail says “Because when I pass people on the road I want them to point at me and say ‘Wow! Look at that escargot!”

you had me at rich snail

kick-in-des-moines:

barnacleboyofficial:

maljoylove:

indiscoverable:

stardustkr7:

justplainsomething:

morice:

songs that have an amazingly catchy and cool tune but really uncomfortable lyrics

image

I think we’re all thinking of the same thing but don’t dare speak its name for fear of summoning it.

The-song-that-must-not-be-named

We don’t talk about it

image

ARE THOSE BLURRED FUCKING LIMES

For me it’s every Eminem song

About 75% of Avenue Q.