nientedal:

crystallizedtwilight:

[Begin Movie Trailer]

Romeo: I would die for you.
Juliette: Okay, well, let’s make sure that doesn’t happen.
THIS SUMMER
(Begin upbeat/exciting background music)
Benvolio: She’s in love with Romeo but her parents want her to marry Royalty.
Mercutio: That’s where I come in.
SHAKESPEARE’S GREATEST TRAGEDY
Romeo (grinning in realization): A marriage of convenience.
Juliette (with hopeful laughter in voice): This could actually work!
NOW BECOMES
Romeo (to Mercutio): What do you get out of it?
Mercutio: My inheritance, my parents stop pushing girls on me, and I get to keep doing your cousin.
Benvolio: He gets to keep…yeah.
THE GREATEST COMEDY
(Shot of the four of them running through the streets, hollering, laughing with masquerade masks on)
(Shot of Romeo) Romeo: We just have to avoid getting caught for…ever.
(Tybalt talking to Paris) Tybalt: I don’t think they’re actually in love.
(Mercutio kissing Ben in an alley)
(Romeo taking Juliette’s hand as she smiles)
(Back to Tybalt and Paris) Tybalt: I’m going to get to the bottom of this.
(Shot of Benvolio) Benvolio: They won’t let us be together to we made things so we can be.
(Juliette in a courtyard, to Mercutio) Juliette: You need to be more careful, all four of our lives are at stake here.
(Tybalt and Mercutio at the wedding’s dessert table) Tybalt: If I ever find out that you were unfaithful to my cousin I will kill you.
Mercutio (music stop):………….cool, cool, good to know.
THIS TIME
(Another shot of a silly action sequence)
ROMEO AND JULIETTE
(More comedy)
HAVE A PLAN
(no music for finishing sequence)
Benvolio (denying Merc a kiss in public) We can’t…
Mercutio: (playfully) Is it because I’m married?
Benvolio: I don’t care that you’re married!…You know, in any other situation, that would make me sound so terrible–

What’s In a Name
JULY 2018
PG-13

(Spoiler: Tybalt ends up with Paris and helps guard their secret. Everyone lives)

YES.jpg

geekandmisandry:

ladyananas:

wombatking:

thanatosdementor:

posingasme:

the-weaver-of-worlds:

writing-prompt-s:

A depressed guy moves into a haunted house with 7 demons, each corresponding to a deadly sin. But, they’re all trying to help him get back on his feet; Pride helps with self confidence, Lust helps him get laid, etc.

I would watch the crap outta this like wow

Envy: “Glut, back off the guy, okay?”

Gluttony: “I’m just saying he could stand to gain a few pounds! I made spaghetti!”

Sloth: “After we eat, it’s gonna be time for a nice nap. We’ve earned it!”

Pride: “Damn right we did!”

Just imagine the Catholic Church making a statement regarding this new tv show.

Wrath does nothing but encourage him to punch assholes. 

“You deserve better! That was YOUR parking space!”

“He’s like three hundred pounds of muscle, Wrath.”

“And you are 165 pounds of RAGE!”

Wrath’s advice isn’t great, but he means well. 

Greed spends his days trying to help him manage his budget and put money on the side

“Bro check this out i’ve got the sickest retirement plan, technically it’s tax evasion i guess but fuck those guys, right?”

This is the most hardcore sequel to Inside Out.

spatscolombo:

So I accidentally learned today about this thing where lots of people ship Carmen Sandiego and Waldo from Where’s Waldo?

And on the one hand I love it, because it’s silly and hilarious and you can learn about it and giggle and move on OR you can think about it for a long time and get really into it and that’s a great thing about the Internet

But it really grinds my gears that all the fanart visions of the couple I could immediately see on google showed this really conventionally gendered arrangement where Waldo is like leading/supporting Carmen or rescuing her?

And it’s like exCUSE ME I get that they’d be a cute couple because they’re both hard to find, and because why not, but like she’s an ex-detective criminal mastermind unbound by time and space and he’s a tourist who can’t find his map they are hard to find for VERY DIFFERENT REASONS and you cannot convince me that fucking adorable bespectacled soft butch brings-a-walking-stick-to-the-beach dazed and confused WALDO would be in the driver’s seat of that operation I mean GOD

Right, i mean obviously you can’t find Waldo because CARMEN SANDIEGO STOLE HIM.

kelssiel:

beachdeath:

the most #UselessLesbian thing i have ever done was when i was trying to figure out if this girl liked me or not, just constantly arguing with myself about it, and after a couple, uh, months, of this, i was like, “god i wish i could just like… go to court and lay out all this evidence and have a couple lawyers argue over the TRUE MEANING of her text messages, and then a judge tells me if she likes me or not.” and then the proverbial lightbulb went off over my proverbial head, and i dug into my mock trial folder from high school and found the trial guidelines and i wrote out an entire trial transcript featuring a plaintiff (me), my attorney (my wildest hopes and dreams), a defense attorney (my worst fears and insecurities), and a judge (my desperate attempt at rationality). the final product was several thousand words long. it clarified nothing. at any point in this process did it occur to me to ask her how she felt about me? absolutely not. did i ever stop and think, “hey, maybe i should tell her that i like her?” absolutely not. that’s for people who take risks and i don’t take risks i take myself to court in my own head.

grade A romcom material here just picture the movie:

a harried law student meets a pretty girl (maybe she’s an artist or something else cheesy and romantic) the pretty girl flirts with her but she can’t decide if it’s just being friends or actually flirting

she gets together with her friends and over the course of a few days holds an epic mock trial that draws more and more of a crowd until the pretty girl finds out

at the last minute the pretty girl rushes into the courtroom shouting “i have new evidence to present to the court,” the mock judge asks her to step forward and she just kisses the law student

the courtroom cheers

case closed ruled in favor of the defendant

later after they graduate they get married at the courthouse

Photographer Endangers His Life To Capture Lava, Meteor, Milky Way And Moon In One Shot

inspacewereallaustralians:

kittykat8311:

ayellowbirds:

accidentalyandere:

damespock:

wordsnquotes:

culturenlifestyle:

image

American adventure photographer Mike Mezeul II has captured what is arguably one of the most stunning images of Mother Nature at work.

Keep reading

“mike what the fuck oh my go–”
“just wait this is gonna look cool lmao”

what the fuck

The colors, my gods.

holy macaroni

Pretty sure “mike the photographer” is a horror story told to alien children.

susiephone:

less “chosen one” heroes, more heroes that chose THEMSELVES. give me heroes that see a problem, look around, and think, “WELP, clearly no one ELSE is gonna fix it, so APPARENTLY it has to be me” and goes to their friends and is like “Y’ALL, GET YOUR SHIT, WE’RE GOING ON A QUEST”

“what wait why”

“the world is broken and the people in charge aren’t doing anything, so we’re gonna do something for them”

“didn’t the prophecy say a wise and noble mage would choose someone to conquer the evil?”

“yeah well, i can do magic, and i’m pretty fucking wise and noble, right?”

“…..”

“……………….RIGHT?!”

*hasty statements of agreement*

“exactly. so, i’ve come to the conclusion that i’m the mage of the prophecy. and guess what. i choose myself. now let’s go.”

momfriendmccoy:

momfriendmccoy:

I can’t explain how much I want a 21st century Star Trek au where Kirk still lives in Iowa and it’s like “holy shit aliens just literally landed in my cornfield I can’t believe my life became a bad episode of x-files”

ok but. hear me out like…

  • kirk as just this genius 21yr old in Iowa building hi-tech shit in his basement; like radios and shit that manage to pick up sub-space frequencies that he helps code w/ the help of Uhura
  • kirk thinking it’d be a funny prank to make some crop circles in his family’s cornfield
  • kirk making intricate crop circles that read as some rudimentary script of Vulcan
  • spock responding to the images that seem to be an SOS from his father; beams down to earth only to find out some humans managed to accidentally learn the vulcan language
  • “oh so you’re an alien” “indeed” “And…you’re looking for your dad.” “affirmative” “well, you know what this means?” “….” “…roadtrip.”
  • spock learns the meaning of friendship as he roadtrips across america with a pack of humans that kirk picks up along the way in search of his father: mccoy, the doctor they met in georgia that let them sleep in his basement; scotty the auto repair guy they meet in some backwater town; sulu in new york that is much better at driving than kirk is; nobody really knows how chekov ended up with them, but it’s probably illegal
  • these are the voyages of the 1970 Volkswagen bus Enterprise

feynites:

quousque:

curlicuecal:

chamomile-geode:

don’t know if this is as ~deep~ as i think it is, but by all of gaston’s own personal standards of identity/values, the beast is a better man than he is: brawnier, bigger, fightier, & of course every last inch of him’s covered in hair

ohmigod, it’s true though!  the beast was basically gaston, and the ticked off fairy turned him into the purest manifestation of his toxic ideals to make him learn to be less of an ass

…..now I really wanna see the version of the movie where instead of dying, the curse passes from the beast to gaston!

except gaston doesn’t have a swag ass castle to sulk in, so he’s out running around the countryside, hiding in forests and stuff, alternately terrorizing the populace and being hunted. it’s a turnabout of his “peerless hunter” backstory– he is now both the monster and the prey.

untillllll he, idk, meets some humble woodcutter(?) that takes him in when he’s wounded or offers him shelter in a storm? and etc, etc, LIFE LESSONS, toxic masculinity slowly vanquished.  (ooh, or maybe it should be like–a flower seller or herbalist or some feminine-coded profession he would have devalued to really set up a foil.)

also the gaston-beast needs antlers.  terrifying claw-hooked sprawling antlers.  antlers for all of his decorating.

BRUH

So if the curse is transmittable, is there a way to – rather than breaking the curse with true love- transfer it to some other asshole who happens to be nearby? Because that would kind of explain why the enchantress decided to go knocking on the doors of dickish eleven-year-old princes on stormy nights, and also why she seemed to look hideous until she suddenly transformed and then ‘cursed’ Adam. Maybe the enchantress was also a beast, and maybe there are two ways to ‘get rid’ of the curse. One is to have true love break it, but the other is to just sort of pass it on to someone the curse decides is worse than you are.

And the curse, rather than seeing ‘ah well he’s just a kid’ and not taking, instead went ‘oh he’s a kid – so his dickishness is also the fault of his caretakers’ and then applied itself to the entire damn castle.

Enchantress was probably like ‘…uh, oops? Oh well lol not my problem anymore’ and skipped off, after feeling juuust bad enough to tell Adam about the True Love option. But not the transfer one because what if he comes after her and the curse decides that after a week of beastification, he’s less of an asshole than she is now? Not risking it.

So Beast and Belle hook up and Beast thinks it’s the True Love cure, but in actuality he gets cured after the fight with Gaston because the curse decides ‘welp this guy is DEFINITELY a bigger asshole’ and that’s why the timing is kind of… odd Belle really does love him, though, but maybe the shift back is supposed to be more gradual with a love cure, because true love really does linger more in gradual adjustments and quiet moments than in grand displays. It’s a slower process (the time limit was really just the enchantress trying to make sure that the prince would hurry up and go that route for curing himself, and not waste time trying to track her down – it’s total bullshit, she’s a con artist, that’s what got her into this mess in the first place).

The slow cure is what happens with Gaston, instead of getting a declaration and then a magical girl transformation sequence back into his sporty lumberjack self, he just, bit by bit, starts to look more Gaston-y again. It spreads out from the eyes. His fur starts to get a bit thinner, his claws start to soften, his teeth no longer fill up his mouth like a packet of razors. At first he thinks it’s just because he has a place to stay and access to, like, brushes and warm water and stuff like that. But then he wakes up one morning and his antlers are shedding, and he can definitely see more of his old face than he used to.

His woodsy herbalist ‘friend’ doesn’t really say anything. He’s heard of curses and things, and he doesn’t like to pry – he’s just the sort who sees a need and tries to help with it. In the end, it’s really not Gaston’s looks (in either form) that when him over. It his skill, either, because Gaston can’t really hunt much without risking being seen and having to leave and possibly getting his herbalist in trouble for housing a monster. It’s just his company. Talks by the fire. Quiet mornings spent side by side. Sheer boredom, and a begrudging sense of indebtedness, have Gaston asking about his host’s tasks, and then offering to help with them. He’s insufferable about it at first, of course. But after a while he finds that he likes the scent of herbs, and that gathering is as interesting as hunting, and he even paws carefully through a few of the herbalist’s notebooks.

Being trapped gives him a somewhat better appreciation for books, though he still never loves them.

At night he can venture outside, just so long as the moon isn’t too bright. He takes to sitting on the roof, and looking up at the stars, and remembers… it was his mother who taught him how to read the stars. In case he ever got lost. His father died when he was fairly young, and Gaston had done his best to try and make up the difference. And he had done; he’d been a good hunter, he’d kept the village fed through a lot of cold winters, but he’d never quite been able to escape the sense that he needed to absolutely make certain that he was following the right script. That there was something about him that didn’t… that wasn’t what his father would have wanted. Or his mother, either. He had a long list of things that made a man worthwhile, and maybe that was part of the reason why he had set his eyes on the one woman in the village who refused to give him the time of day.

Because that list included marriage and a house full of children, not quiet nights in a tavern, looking for too long at the woodcutter’s arms.

But even if he had never really wanted Belle, he had been angry enough at not winning her, too. Even if the script never really made him happy, he still wanted to follow it. Wanted to be the kind of man who could. The man who killed every beast and conquered every challenge.

He can’t go back to that life, now. It’s not even an option anymore.

The knowledge is an unexpected – but very visceral – relief.

The next morning, Gaston is about a foot shorter, and the cleft in his chin is back.

It’s more than a year, though, before he looks human enough to ‘arrive’ at the little village near to where his herbalist lives. He introduces himself as a friend of the healer’s family, an old friend who used share correspondence with him, who’s come looking for work. The townsfolk find him to be a quiet man, burly but skilled, and more boisterous if you can get a few drinks into him. Though, he avoids the tavern more often than not. Some folks talk about him and his herbalist, living out in that little house all by themselves; but Gaston’s skills quiet most tongues, and the way his eyes sometimes catch the firelight, and his teeth seem just a little too sharp, manage to quiet others.

Years pass. It is, funnily enough, only when Gaston looks almost entirely himself – though still different from how he used to – that trouble really comes, with the mayor’s son, who decides on a dare to vandalize the herbalist’s door and destroy some of his best plants.

Gason is only meaning to make the boy pay for the damages, when he goes and finds him out in the fields. But he’s barely had time to get impatient with the brat’s sneering – seventeen, god, he had nearly forgotten how insufferable he was at that age, too – when he feels a weight leave him. A weight he has grown so accustomed to, that he had long forgotten it wasn’t supposed to be there.

There are no witnesses to the change that happens in the field, though later, many people in the village will whisper that a werewolf must have savaged the mayor’s son. All Gaston can do is offer the boy some advice, before he flees in howling terror:

Find kindness, first.

lauraantoniou:

musiclvr16:

kyraneko:

i-am-corbin-dallas:

majesticprussianeagle:

kyraneko:

venerabledreadnought:

kyraneko:

ohgodhesloose:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

majingojira:

saynotodyedflowers:

majingojira:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

bossubossupromode:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

She tries to take back her families business only to find that it’s been taken over by a cult of Evil Cowboys

are you kidding i’d watch the fuck out of this

Her love interest is an Actual Cowboy from the Old West who was the greatest gunslinger of their age and who won countless duels, but they still aren’t as good at it as she is because of Reasons

Reason being she has the Guns of Pecos Bill.

*internal screams of joy*

Do not do this to me my husband is a historical reenactor and weapon historian I know so much about this shit.

My brain is over flowing. Like like i love and hate the idea of it being Pecos Bill because on one hand I can think of 4 real humans I would want it to be and on the other Pecos Bill is BRILLIANT because he is a myth and tweeking things are less likely to hurt historians in their souls.

Also if it’s Pecos Bill she would also have his lasso.

You guys. Don’t do this to me.

The Lasso is too OP and you know it!

As someone who knows very little about the Wild Wild West other than that it was the inspiration for a terrible Will Smith film, I am curious to know more about this because I do not know who Pecos Bill is or about his guns/lasso

Pecos Bill is an American folklore hero in the same vein as Paul Bunyan and Johnny Appleseed. Among his feats included being raised by coyotes, using a pet rattlesnake for a lasso, using said sneklasso to wrangle a tornado, and snacking on dynamite. He fell in love with a woman he met while she was riding a giant catfish down the Rio Grande, but his horse got jealous and sabotaged the relationship.

In other words, he’s the perfect legendary figure for Quickdraw (as I now dub our Asian reverse Iron Fist) to inherit her powers from

*shrieks happily* Yes yes yes I need this.

Quickdraw feels kinda generic for a super hero name. I’d say using the naming conventions of Iron Fist I’d name her something like the Raging Gun.

Iron Six.

Can refer to the six shots on a revolver, her having six guns (each with their own name, naturally*), or her nearly-supernatural abilities to follow her enemies and show up behind them (”on their six.”)

Pecos Bill might be an old man or even a myth-spirit in the way of Discworld gods (dependent on belief, fading away without it), the elderly mentor who devotes himself to training a hero/chosen one/heir to be better than he ever was. She can represent the future of the art while the old white guy represents the past, as an inversion of both many martial arts movies and many westerns where Asian and Native American characters, respectively, pass their torches to the white dude.

*The guns are named things like Golden Sunset and Deep Canyon and Silence After Battle, poetically referencing both the vibrant geography of the Old West and the weapon’s function of ending lives.

Or/and she gets Pecos Bill’s horse which broke up his relationship by throwing his wife to the moon on their wedding day

The horse is given to her by Pecos Bill as payback for the wife thing, but they actually get along great. The horse is to her as Appa is to Aang. A guide and friend. They’re there for each other in the dark and cold times and in the good times. He may or may not be able to speak. Its an ongoing joke that Iron Six will say “Widow Maker/Lightning was just telling me…” or they’ll be alone somewhere together and she’ll be whispering but will stop as soon as someone comes near.

Better and better.

Pecos Bill is old, centuries old or wind-and-skies old or whatever, and his original horse has run wild with other wild horses and has many descendants now. One of Iron Six’s tasks over the years of her training is to tame and train a foal, which grows up to be her horse. 

And thus, she can learn the ways of the horses and the language of the horses, and teach them all sorts of things, so when she goes into town she can see plain as day which people the horse is afraid of, or she can teach the horse to recognize certain phrases that other people might say as a command to bite whoever’s saying it, and the result is people thinking the horse can understand human speech and talk to Iron Six.

One day some guy tries to steal her horse while she’s in a bar. Jumps on and digs his heels in and the horse just turns around, looks at him like he’s being stupid, and finds something interesting to nose at on the ground.

Dude’s friends laugh at him, dude gets angry, dude starts kicking at the horse, horse stands there calmly and then suddenly rears and dumps him off behind.

And then poops on him.

Dude gets up, furious and humiliated, borrows a whip from his friends, and is about to strike the horse with it and the horse calmly walks away.

More laughter, more fury, and that’s about when Iron Six shows up in the doorway.

Not a word.

She doesn’t go for her guns. She walks up to the guy, takes the whip out of his hand, he goes for his gun and she decks him. He hits the ground with a broken nose and the gun goes bouncing into the dust.

She picks it up, looks at it, sends it sailing into a nearby water trough. “Garbage,” she says. “Now, about my horse,” she says, and whips the would-be horse thief half to shreds.

Tosses the whip back to its owner, tips her hat to the rest of them, and her horse is right there when she turns around to climb on.

Why anyone looks elsewhere for ideas is a mystery to me. Every time I look at Tumblr there’s a piece of brilliance waiting.

akireyta:

pog-mo-bhlog:

die-tochter:

evieplease:

incredifishface:

#yoga#where is this dude’s romance novel#THE SCOTTISH LORD’S SECRET#his secret is yoga#YOU MUST TRY IT MISS DUNTHORPE#he enthuses at the heroine#over kippers#YOUR HEADACHES WILL VANISH#uh huh says miss dunthorpe#who had kind of been hoping#the secret was vampirism#anyway then he demonstrates#just like this#miss dunthorpe regards his thighs#and his biceps#and reconsiders her opinion (fahye)

Naw, turn t’ camera, ye bastid!

I was sitting here praying for him to put his legs all the way up during the handstand. I was disappointed.

kilted yoga is truly a wonderful thing

I feel this might be relevant to the interests of some of you all